


Nicotine

by CassanderRoshack



Series: Burn My Lungs & Curse My Eyes [2]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Arson, Attempted Murder, Continued series, Emotional Manipulation, God Tier, Gore, Hallucinations, Humanstuck, Injury Recovery, M/M, Mentions of Murder, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of Suicide, Murder Mystery, My Clarity, NSFW, Original Character(s), Prince of Heart, Prison AU, Prison Sex, Prison setting, Rape Recovery, Realistic, Reality Bending, Recovery, Sexual Content, Shower Sex, Spectrum, Unethical Medicine, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-03-04 22:20:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 92,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3093197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassanderRoshack/pseuds/CassanderRoshack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel of the fanfiction "Spectrum".</p><p>Dirk Strider has been convicted of first degree murder of the serial killer, Nathanial Morris. Though he saved other lives and suffered at the hand of the man, the judge couldn't claim she believed entirely that he didn't have a personal vendetta involved with the killing. He accepted his fate without fight, and now has to deal with being in the privately owned maximum security prison. Unfortunately, he trades one evil for another. Dirk has to learn that there is a gray area in everything he does... and learn that the rules inside the concrete walls surrounding him are very different from the one's outside. Meanwhile, something and someone much more horrifying than Morris is building strength.</p><p>Some chapters contain extreme physical violence. Please read at your own risk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nothing Left To Say

“Prisoner 413, step up to the yellow line, turn to face the camera and do not make any sudden movements.” The man on the other side of the glass droned. Dirk stepped in without anyone else, one side of the room being glass. The other side being a white wall with tick marks in it for height. He frowned looking up at it, seeing he was near six feet two inches before turning to face the camera. “Don’t smile, make any hand gestures, or gang symbols.” The voice continued through a small voice box in front of the glass. There was a speaker in one hand and a button to press in the other. In a split second the camera flashed and he was blinded for almost a minute. “Is there a problem, 413?” Dirk swallowed before shaking his head, “No, I have photophobia.” The guard snorted, “Make sure to tell the intake officer that.” Dirk nodded squinting his eyes as he walked to the next door on the other side of the room. They had took his mugshot and he saw it briefly on a reflection of the glass. His eyes were bright unsettlingly neon burnt orange. He still looked like shit, but somehow that was comforting to him that at least he didn’t _look_ like a threat. The guards took him by the arms once more, walking him to the next area for his intake.  
                  
                After the court case deciding if the murder of the serial killer Nathanial Morris was self-defense on his part had gone terribly wrong, he had been transported for the longest time until they opened the doors to take out Daniel Clemons, Nathanial’s half-brother.  The one’s transporting them hadn’t said a word to where they were going but at the time, Dirk hadn’t really cared. They had shut the doors again in Dirk’s face, resuming the long car ride before reopening them to take him into a drop off area for prisoners. The building was tall, long, gray, and had bars on every single window he could see. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out where he was. There was sign on the entrance way, ‘Harker Lee Private Estate Prison’ with a number of beneficiaries underneath the name. He only had a moment to glance at it before being taken down a long hallway with his hands tightly behind his back until he lost feeling in them. Then to a separate room where they searched him once more for weapons, checked his cuffs, and then took his shoes and belt.

                Never leaving his side, they had walked him to the mugshot room were his ID number had been given to him. 413 was now his name according to the guards. Even the security made offhanded comments about him being far too quiet and agreeable with what they asked of him. Of course, neither of the guards escorting him received an answer about why he was being so docile, which proved just as unsettling as anything else. The next area was with a man sitting at a table, a file open in front of him, a large stack of files on his left, and a significantly shorter one on his right of stamps on them that had a date written underneath red inked letters, “[COMPLETE]”, that Dirk assumed were cases for other inmates. There were rows of supplies behind the intake officer. Shoes, clothing, towels and blankets were lined neatly there behind a cage.          
                  
                “Sit.” The officer ordered, drinking cold coffee off to the side and Dirk was sat into the chair in front of him. The man was wearing a blue prison guard uniform with his name written on the breast pocket in white script, “Int. Ofc. R. Summonson”.  Dirk memorized the name and the face of the man. He was a young man with his brown hair shaved almost like a mow hawk- but of course, within prison regulations. He had piercing brown eyes. “I’m going to ask you a series of questions and you’ll answer them as best you can and completely truthfully. Everything you say will be written down and a copy will be sent to your lawyer.” Dirk nodded, before the man looked up at him. “These are questions to determine your mental health. If need be, you can be seen by a specialist and be put into either special care or the maximum security you were assigned. Ever thought about killing yourself?” The blond paused before breathing out. “Yes.” The pen scratched across the paper. “Ever attempted?” Another pause before he nodded with his soft spoken word, “Yes.” Dirk met his gaze as the officer wrote it down before looking down at his fingernails. He felt almost ashamed to admit it that he had gotten low after the game… and lower after Morris. “Feel that way now?” Dirk looked up at him again, wondering if he actually did… ironically and temporarily, he didn’t. “No. But I’m on medication.”

                There was a flicker of a smile from the officer before he went back to writing. Dirk didn’t find how it could be funny, but deciding he wouldn’t question it either. “Have you recently lost a friend or loved one?” Dirk swallowed before once more staring downward. This time his voice was incredibly soft, “Yes.” He had lost a lot within a month. Jenna. His freedom. He had pushed Jake away to keep him both safe and from Dirk’s own mental chaos. Now he was here. “Any illnesses or conditions?” Dirk shrugged, “Photophobia, depression, PTSD, and hypermobility… I’ve recently had one of my kidneys put back in.” It caused the officer to do a double take at him before glancing at his file. There were more and more questions before the officer stood up. “Congrats, you qualify to see one of the professionals.” He turned toward the supplies, “What size shoe?” Dirk answered him and he had a pile of objects in his hand in a matter of minutes. “Strip. Put your clothing in the plastic bag, your personal items will be inventoried and held until you are released. Put on the orange jumpsuit and follow the guards.” He did what he was told, ignoring the stares of the guards at the marks of obvious torture and thinness to him- how badly his bones stuck out from the starvation, how the blades had cut into his back to remove his organs and the bruises that were only now starting to yellow. They continued to look as he zipped up the jumpsuit and put his things into the plastic bag provided.

                The intake officer wrote a few more things down, but Dirk couldn’t see it from where he was. He stood, taking the plastic bag in his hand to write ‘STRIDER’ on the front before tossing it into a pile of similar objects. Dirk glanced at it before taking another deep breath, standing straight. The officer gestured to the two guards still waiting in the room. They lead him out and to a steel door, opened it and let him walk inside. It was completely padded; the towel and blanket in his hand went to the floor where he immediately sat. The guard shut the door and he let out the breath he had been holding since the door opened. They were asking questions to assess his mental health and figure if he was a suicide risk- apparently they had determined he was. Dirk imagined that he would stay there until the ‘experts’ had arrived to tell the guards what to do with him. After a few minutes of hearing nothing but absolute silence from the world beyond, he lay down and stared up at the ceiling. It was better he slept now, knowing he might not get the chance later. It wasn’t like he had a chance to prepare for jail, nor did he have any idea what it was going to be like. This was just… common sense. The largest dog ruled the dog house, and whoever fucked with the biggest dog better have a bigger bite than they did. Dirk wasn’t exactly in the position to be picking fights either with the sentence he had.

About two hours later they finally came, asked him the same questions as the intake officer had. Discussed his medication and left again in a shorter amount of time than he had spent with the officer earlier. The guard walked him out and through a heavy steel door. They fingerprinted him, grabbing his hand and rolling each finger onto a piece of paper where he had to fill out a form before being dragged back into the hallway and taken to yet another steel door. It seemed that they were already tired of dealing with him.

It hissed open and he was ushered through. Noise met his ears as four floors of cellmates looked down at him as he walked through a cell block. His face upturned to look up at them, the lights all around the room. His eyes were squinted hard against the florescent lighting keeping every inch of the cellblock lit to the fullest extent. He walked through five cellblocks before he saw a cell they were directing him toward. “Fresh meat, boys!” The guard on his right called and the prisoners hooted and hollered at the sight of him. “Oh, look at the cutie~” A very feminine male cooed as he walked by. “Welcome to Cellblock C, need some company sweetheart?!” Someone shouted, some wolf whistled, “Look at the ken doll, Jenson!” He looked up at them; head turning slowly to survey the group around them. Someone from the ground floor laugh, “He looks like a punk ass bitch, come on sweetheart, pucker up!” Dirk snarled as someone came close to him, and they immediately backed away. “Fight to him, boys!” The guards pushed him more toward the walk path ahead before the prisoners could engage him again. They put him inside a cell and shut the door. Not a word was said edgewise from anyone as Dirk tossed his blanket and pillow on the box spring bed. He leaned back on the bed when he sat down, not even greeting the owner of the leg that was swung over the side of the top bunk. He just wanted to sleep. Fuck everyone else.


	2. Don't Forget

He blinked his eyes open slowly to the darkness around him. The sun was coming up over the desert like terrain and sedimentary rock mountains where only cacti dwelled and wild horses roamed. Dirk looked at the streams of light coming through the bars of the window. It was cold and his entire body ached as he moved his hand to grip his pillow. He had apparently slept through his first evening and missing the dinner call though he doubted that he would have eaten anyway. He let out a low breath, eyes still very tired from the events that had happened over the last few days. There wasn’t a better time to think than right now; especially when the entire prison seemed to be sleeping except for him… Dirk stretched out his legs that were curled in on himself and cracked his knuckles, back, neck, knees and ankles. The curse of being double jointed meant everything crackled worse than Rice Krispies.

                He had done a lot for a twenty-something year old within six months. Dirk rubbed his eyes, breathing out and relishing the low lights around him. Vincent had promised him that he would take his case to the Supreme Court to overrule and find more evidence to free him, but honestly he didn’t think much would come out of that endeavor. He didn’t exactly trust him, but then again, his rate of trusting practical strangers had certainly dropped in recent months. Dirk believed Roxy would make sure that Vincent followed through- Jake and Jane would aid her as much as they could. It was a better idea not to hope for something like that, better to get something when not hoping on it than hoping and not getting. It was rare anymore that the courts overturned anything that was already passed by a lower level judge that had as much respect as his dead. Nina ReClaire was one of the most fair judges in the state, and she valued justice above all else- that was what he had been told by Vincent at least. It was strange, to have a judge that supposedly couldn’t be bought or bribed now days. Someone was always on someone payroll and if they weren’t, there had to be some dirt that they had kept well hidden.

Dirk rolled over to look at the underside of the bunk above him. There were names scratched into the metal and he couldn’t help but remember the wall in Nathanial’s makeshift jail below his home. He frowned, reading all the nicknames. There was a moment when the cold settled into his chest and he could hardly breathe. It passed in seconds- but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt when it had. Somewhere in his mind he realized that he had gone into that Hell as “Dirk” but left being something entirely different. He no longer knew what it felt like not to hurt or carry the weight of guilt that he absolutely could not shed. Dirk read through the names again before shutting his eyes. The entire situation left a wound on him that was mental and physical… and he knew how to patch up his own physical wounds. Mental scarring on the other hand was more difficult to try to fix or heal. If the PTSD from the Game wasn’t enough to show for that lack of knowledge he possessed. Dirk wondered if Jake, Rose or Jane realized that if he could just snap his fingers, he would fix himself immediately. He blamed himself for that too. He had walked away from the Game with more issues than everyone else and had nearly offed himself because he just didn’t believe he was worth keeping around.

                His mind went darker as he continued with those thoughts. He still to this day wasn’t worth keeping around. How much money were they spending on his lawyer? How much time were they wasting getting him out of prison when he could just…? Dirk looked at the blanket and then to the ceiling. There was no place to tie it to and he let out a long breath. He couldn’t take pills either. Outside there was a railing that he could throw himself off of but he imagined there was a fence of some sorts to keep him from doing such a thing. Hell, the prisoners looked like they were already planning on killing him so what was the point of committing suicide? What Hal had said before, that- which since Hal was a hallucination, Dirk had technically been the one speaking- he would commit suicide regardless of the outcome didn’t unsettle him as much as he thought it would. Dirk breathed out and banged his head back into the pillow. “Fuck.” He whispered to the silence, only slight white noise and ringing in his ears.  His head hurt and he put pressure on both sides of his head to hold them together from the splitting migraine. Dirk swallowed, trying not to focus on the pain in his head or his chest… but… He missed Jake. That was probably the main source of his heartache. When he was trapped with Jenna and Rachel- he had never had the time or the strength to worry about Jake- now he was alone again.

                Dirk sighed angrily at himself. He had broken it off and that was better for everyone involved. He would probably visit and there was nothing he could do to change Dirk’s mind about the decision. Honestly, Dirk didn’t blame Jake any longer for what he said. It was nearly half a year ago by this point and the man was so drunk that he could have been talking to a squirrel and thought it was Jane. He pushed the blond hair out of his face as he thought about Jake then rubbed his eyes. If the spiraling depression in his life wasn’t caused by his self-ensured break-up, it was definitely assisting it. Dirk tried to shut up the little voice in his head that told him Jake would just be waking up around this time if he was still on the sleeping schedule Dirk knew. Jake would smile and roll over to kiss the back of his neck, wrap his arm around Dirk’s waist, whispering a good morning before letting the paler sleep for a while longer. Dirk shut his eyes. “Shut up.” He told his brain, pushing the entire vision in his mind away. “I’m better off alone.” He told himself before hearing a slam of bars and a whistle. “Time to get up, ladies!” One of the guards screamed and he sucked up the emotions. He didn’t want to get up. He wanted to lay there and die. He shielded his eyes from the light, rising despite his inner battle.

xXx

                Dirk soon found out that a typical day for a prisoner was far from what he expected. The guards ushered them all like cattle down into a cafeteria that was fit told hold the entire complex. He filed into the line with the rest of the inmates- not looking up at any of them as he moved into the line and only spoke a word of thanks to the worker that served him his grits with a stale piece of toast. He sat alone, on the farthest table he could without the guards watching him like hawks. It was maybe around 5:30 in the morning by that point and he only ate maybe two spoonfuls of food before getting sick on his stomach. He watched a few before a guard walking by told him that he was being assigned a job in three days due to a paperwork mistake and to enjoy himself while he could. Dirk found that not particularly unsettling, but knew that would more than likely get him into shit with the other inmates- who were already filing back into hallways to report to their work assignments. There was no one to write a letter to that he felt like that would bother with reading it, the library was being ‘remodeled’ after an incident with a few spray bottles of paint, and… that left him sitting in his bunk waiting for the day to end.

                Around 12, they called for lunch and he found himself back in line with no stomach for what was being served. He sat in the same place as before, ignoring everyone else around him while he stared at his tray. The prison didn’t even give them forks- just very bendable rubber spoons. The meal didn’t have a bit of color to it and he frowned trying to pick it apart with the spoon. He felt more like a mental patient than he did a prisoner. The mix made a sticky sound as he pulled it apart to see a mixture of beef, vegetables, bread and a few other things that had all been thrown into a blinder. For someone who had been starved to death for months before this and would eat dirt or bugs to live, he nearly puked on the spot seeing what they had mashed together. He pushed it down before blinking as a shadow came over his table. Though it was a relief to his eyes- he damn well knew it wasn’t a good sign. His intense orange gaze looked up from the ‘mystery sludge’ to the people hovering over him now.

                By this point, he hadn’t eaten in two days, slept well, or had his medication. All of that combined made Dirk have absolutely zero patience for anyone willing to start something with him. The prisoner that was leaning over him was a beefy sort of man who looked vaguely Hispanic and two skinner men behind him. One looked like the living embodiment of a horse and the other had a bowl cut that would only make a grandmother proud. His ears pricked at the sudden silence in the room as the largest settled his hands on the table, one on either side of his lunch tray. Over the man’s shoulder was another prisoner that wasn’t a part of the group. Dirk’s eyes briefly met amber brown pair of eyes that were staring back him. There was only a moment of connection before Dirk’s gaze returned to the three in front of him now. “Can I help you?” Dirk asked, raising a blond eyebrow at them and the largest flipped over his tray so it clattered off the table and onto the floor. There was a long sigh from Dirk’s nose- it wasn’t like he was planning on eating it anyway.

                 “Why you here, Homes?” The blond stared back up at him with narrowed eyes, the guards were watching them from behind cages above, but didn’t make a move toward them in the slightest. “That’s my business.” The largest snorted, taking him by the front and dragged him up out of his seat, over the table until he was held up in front of him. The other prisoners in the room backed up. Dirk caught a glimpse of the red eyed prisoner again still watching him in the sudden movement of the room. There was an inmate beside the one with red eyes that was large and extremely muscular. His long black ponytail was tied up and he was listening to the other talk with a grim look. The brief moment broke again when he was pulled so roughly. Dirk snarled, hand going to the one on his shirt front and nails clawing at the meaty appendage there. The guards did nothing to stop them from fighting- they were there to keep them in, not police them inside the building. They weren’t paid enough to stop fights when it was a privately owned prison. The large man laughed at him, shaking him while he was up in the air. “You gonna die here, homes. You got that? No pretty boys stay in my cell block without pay’in the toll.”

                Dirk was a naturally calm human being. He had a very ‘slow-to-boil’ temper according to Roxy and the others. Though when he finally got to the point where he was mad, things seemed to be destroyed. Probably one of the many reasons he was a Prince class in the Game. The 413 tag on his orange jumper ripped a little in man’s grip. Dirk snarled at the man still holding him, “Let me go before I remove your arm.” Of course, it caused larger man to laugh more and the two behind him took out knives- or rather, sharpened sticks into knives. Dirk didn’t know, nor did he care, what a toll previously mentioned was. He had been threatened and he had a flashback to Nathanial brandishing a knife in front of his face for a moment. Dirk’s eyes dilated in under a second. He hadn’t fought Nathanial because he was scared for Jenna and he was too weak. He was weak now… but he didn’t give a damn what happened to himself at this point.

                It all went downhill from there. Dirk head butted the man, causing him to drop him. He may have been underweight, but he still knew how to use his body in all the right ways to drop a larger target than him. Dirk took one of the mental legs from the bench he had been sitting on a few moments ago. Breaking it off in time, he swung and connected with the horse looking man’s neck. He knocked him down, twirled it to hit the other coming from behind. The largest had gotten up again and he took out his knee, before shoving the pole up underneath his chin. They lay in a heap around him and Dirk let out a breath, staring at the wreckage of the table, split trays and unconscious bodies around him.

                All eyes were on him. It had taken less than twenty seconds to take out three grown men who had surely caused more terror than what they were worth. “Let’s get one thing straight here!” He yelled to the crowd, looking up at the second floor balcony’s as he tossed the now bent pipe on the table. It clattered to a stop, “I’m not here to be anyone’s bitch! I’m not here to make friends. And I’m sure as hell not here to do anything _but_ my time and go home. Anyone got a problem with that- take it up with the fucking management. Got it?” No one answered and he stepped over one of the men on the floor. He walked past the prisoner with red eyes and his muscled, Native American looking friend, their eyes met for a moment and he almost saw a smirk on the other’s features.


	3. Spins Madly On

After the incident in the lunch room, he had skipped the rest of the evening that included walking out into the make-shift recreational yard and gym for about three hours before dinner. Dirk made his way through the halls away from the path of the other inmates until he was back in his cell. The guard checked him in to make sure he was in the building before walking away to his desk that was embedded into the wall containing the security station for the cell block. He let out a long breath, heart only now calming down. His entire body ached all over once again and from just so very little movement it almost surprised him. Then again, he had to reason with himself, beating someone with a pipe wasn’t exactly small movements. He put a hand over his eyes to hide them from the blinding florescent lighting of the prison. He would probably give his kidney up again just to have a pair of glasses. It was getting damn near ridicules to constantly have a headache but alas, he did. They didn’t have sunglasses in prison, or at least he assumed so having yet been outside to see if the prisoners were allowed that small luxury. Mid-thought he realized that he hadn’t had his medication for that day and groaned a tad bit angrily at himself. If he lapsed again they might not give it to him at all.

                He let out a long breath before hearing the bed creek above him. Dirk still hadn’t met his roommate yet and didn’t desire to have a conversation with whoever it was now. His bunkmate had probably been in the lunchroom so Dirk doubted that he would have trouble, at least from how the rest of the group had reacted to him. Dirk wondered briefly it he had beaten those men to a pulp because of what Nathanial had done to him- then immediately shot down the idea before it took hold inside his mind. He had been fighting killer robots since he was able to program them to move, he had never exactly been a completely normal person by any means. The blond knew he would have beaten them up probably sooner than he had in the lunchroom than immediately after he had left the Game. The four of them, after the Game that had pretty much wrecked all of their lives to Hell and back, had all had a tough time adjusting to life in the ‘civilized’ world. As it turns out, their world wasn’t nearly as civilized as they thought to begin with- if Nathanial and this jail sentence wasn’t enough to prove that case. Dirk rubbed his eyes before turning the pillow over on his face to block the light- perhaps it would smother him in the night and he wouldn’t have to bother with the daily life of this place anymore… The man had no idea how he would end up surviving however many months he had been sentenced. He ended up hearing people come back in from the recreational area before he fell asleep;  temporarily the footfalls and enthusiastic yelling lulled him to sleep… at least there were people here.

xXx

                He woke trying to contain his fear with broken sobs. Nathanial had been there above him for the last hour or so in his mind- perhaps it was only five minutes in reality. Dirk had been staring into black hellish black eyes where two bullet holes guided him into an abyss of flame and hatred. One was bleeding openly- droplets hitting his face and smearing. The other eye had the end of the bullet Jake had shot sticking out of it still. Nathanial had been choking him with one hand and holding a hammer high above his head in the other hand. _“You think you could leave me and our little family?! What a stupid bitch you’re turning into! Keep this up and no one will ever want you!”_

Dirk gagged in his sleep as the burnt and skin peeled off the face that came closer and closer toward him, the entire body made from blackened flesh. He had struggled before waking up to throw the pillow across the room and into the concrete wall. Dirk _hurt_. God, did he hurt. The pain was far too much for a moment- and he held himself, sitting up in the bare darkness of the prison. Once again the only one awake inside the concrete walls besides the night guards who wouldn’t come to look at a prisoner suffering from a nightmare. His entire body wanted to fracture apart and explode- to die or to scream or to just let out something besides tears that just didn’t cover the pain anymore. He clung to himself, feeling the bones that jutted awkwardly out of his skin and ribs that he could count underneath the orange jumper he was wearing. His nails bit into his skin brutally to try to keep control of himself. He was alone… so _fucking_ alone. He let a few more tears slip out before he wiped his face with his clothing, not giving a damn if it stained the already bleached beyond recognition jumpsuit he was wearing. Dirk swallowed reaching out for his pillow and sliding it back over to him by the edge of it. The floor would be cold… but perhaps that would be better?

                He hadn’t done this since he was a child. Dirk got on his hands and knees, flattening himself underneath the bed and held onto his pillow as he scooted underneath the bottom bunk. He didn’t know if it was the idea of being underneath the bed that comforted him, the familiar place, or the fact that he couldn’t be seen by anyone but the guards looking through their cameras to see where he was.

                It was strangely comforting for him to crawl amongst the dust and the dirt to hide underneath his bed. He had done it when he was younger with each passing night when the robots couldn’t provide the comfort he craved. A storm had come through and the house had been rocking back and forth until it made him want to puke. At any moment one of the steel pillars could break and he would fall to his death- hell, when that Hurricane had come through he hadn’t even known how to swim yet. He shut his eyes, putting his hands over his ears to block out his own thoughts it seemed. The idea of being alone- even if he managed to grab some sort of wreckage in the swell of ocean if the apartment had fallen… humanity was gone. He would have drown within a day, less if it had been a storm- hopeless and forgotten.

                Afterward he had considered it pretty pathetic to hide underneath a bed- but when Huston still remained underwater and he was alive for one more day… it gave him reason to hide underneath the bed. No one would know what that would be like thanks to him and the other three. No one would witness humanities fall for many years after the inhabitants of this world had left- or at least, that was what they were promised when they won the Game.  Dirk took that as a small comfort while he hid where he did. His brother wouldn’t grow up like he did. He would grow up with someone there, people to listen to and dreams to fulfill. It suddenly pained him to think of his brother; the one he had never met but knew everything about through different avenues of social media. It had taken him a while to get up the mental readiness to read what happened to him. Why he didn’t come home after his younger years; all he remembered was a tall man walking out the door saying that he would be back... Dirk shut his eyes tightly, hugging the pillow. He was a grown man who was hiding underneath the bed of a prison cell. He really couldn’t sink any lower in his mind. Dirk sighed, wondering what he would think of him now. His brother would probably be ashamed of him.

xXx

                Somehow Dirk had managed for fall asleep again- though as to how he couldn’t be sure. He heard the call around five in the morning to wake and he groaned softly on the cold surface. Dirk nearly thought he was back on the cold floor of Nathanial’s cell before realizing he was still underneath a metal frame. He blinked before crawling out; brushing himself off to see his roommate was already gone.  It was inevitable that they would meet and he was still in no rush to find out who it was. With how his luck was going, his roommate was probably one of the men he’d beaten to a pulp with a pipe yesterday. The blond shielded his eyes as he walked down the hallways before the sun fully came through the windows, headed toward breakfast that he could choke down before getting his medications. His headache was made even worse from the lack of sleep and medication and it wasn’t getting any better with the lighting of every office building in the United States. Dirk walked into the line of the breakfast bar and grabbed a tray, like the day he had before, getting a plate full of something that resembled grits. It wasn’t that bad in all honesty- at least they put butter on it.

                Dirk didn’t think it was wise to develop patterns in prison, especially when your face automatically pissed people off like his did. Though regardless of being wise or not, he went back to the same table he sat at the other day, orange eyes stayed lowered in the direction of his food. It wasn’t until about ten minutes later when something came skidding down the table that finally made him produce any movement again. He jumped, eyes going wide to look for whatever someone was throwing at him- call him jumpy or cautious, either way he had a right to be after yesterday. Dirk almost deflated when he sat the black pair of sunglasses that were now up against his tray. He looked up at who had sent them to see the prisoner with reddish brown eyes. His brows furrowed at the other gestured to them with his chin. “Photophobia, right?” The other asked and Dirk frowned, “How do you know that?” There was a flicker of a smirk, “Because you squint all the time like you’re being stabbed in the eyeballs.” Dirk glanced at the glasses, knowing that no gift was free; especially in prison. “What do you want me to do for them?” The black haired prisoner stood, shrugging his shoulder. “Nothing. Consider it a gift for kicking the Three Stooges asses yesterday.” He walked past him and Dirk followed him with his eyes, reaching down to pick up the sunglasses and examine them.

                Was fate so ironic that it could sometimes be cruel? He was starting to think so, seeing the glasses in his hands were the exact same style that his brother had worn once upon a time. Dirk swallowed looking at them through blurred eyes before putting them on. ‘Ironically Cruel’ should be the name of his biography he realized as the sunglasses not only fit but he opened his eyes fully to see around him. He let out a breath, nearly relaxing in his surroundings when he could see farther than the end of the table. Dirk turned his gaze back toward the prisoner who was sitting with the tall, muscular Native American prisoner again. He gave a small nod of thanks when the one who had given him the glasses looked back toward the blond. The breakfast bell rang and he stood, tossing his food away before walking back through the halls toward his cell while everyone else reported to their work assignments. He would probably have one more day before they found him one.

                He passed a glass window and froze mid-step, leg still out in the air. The hallway was empty and for that he was glad. He stared at himself in the window for a full minute. Without gel in his hair to make it stick back like it usually did and the new glasses- he damn near looked like a carbon copy of his brother… but that wasn’t what had made him go paler than Roxy ever was. But the fact that his brother was standing right behind him, eyes red as flames looking into his own orange in the reflection.  David Strider was in his full glory, a little taller perhaps than Dirk was now, full red suit and black dress shirt underneath, the telltale gear imprinted on his breast pocket. Dirk’s eyes grew wider each passing second. He twisted to see no one and then looked back at the window to find him gone. Dirk kept looking back and forth before shaking his head, walking quickly back to his cell where he could, at least for a moment, breath.


	4. Bad Dream

  He had no idea how long he’d been sitting on that bed staring at the wall in the room- his breathing had calmed by the time he heard his roommate, or at least that was who he assumed it was, come back in. His heart hadn’t stopped beating faster than a recently released stallion into the wild. His eyes kept locked on the bumpy surface of the concrete and he let out a low breath. “What happened to you?” The voice was vaguely familiar and Dirk turned his head to look at the newcomer. Seeing it was the man from before that had given him the glasses. Dirk blinked, “Nothing.” He answered, “Did you need something?” He asked, turning his body away from him to fix his pillow. No one needed to know he was having hallucinations of his dead brother in any reflective surface. “I need something to be in my cell?” The man snorted, crossing his arms while leaning on the bars. Dirk frowned and turned to look back at him, “You’re the top bunk?” The other raised his eyebrow, “No, I just came here to tell you this is my cell to fuck with you.” He rolled his eyes, “Yes, I’m your roommate.” A hand was offered to Dirk, “I’m Kar.” Dirk paused looking at it before deciding it was better to make… acquaintances, than it was to make enemies. Especially when they bunk with you…

     “Car?” He asked, shaking his hand with a firm grip. He had been taught by Jake that a firm handshake gave the best impressions; he’d never had to use one before. “Yeah, spelled with a ‘K’. It’s Cantonese.” Dirk made a face at the name, “And you sure look Cantonese.” Kar made a face in return, arching his eyebrows before furrowing them together, “Hey, I don’t judge you by your name- which I don’t even know. Don’t be a wiseass.” Dirk sighed, letting go of the other’s hand. He knew that telling his name would probably be a bad idea. They had televisions here and undoubtedly they would know who was involved in the Morris case. He didn’t need that kind of reputation- not only that, he wouldn’t put it past Nathanial or his brother Daniel to have friends in prison. “413.” He replied and Kar snorted, “And you gave me shit about my name. No one gives a shit about your number here but the guards. But hey, you want to keep that information to yourself, that’s cool. Just don’t go around by a number when one of the inmates gets curious. They’ll think you’re a snitch or some shit.” Kar shrugged when he stopped speaking and Dirk looked up at him, “What would you recommend then since you apparently know your way around.” Kar shrugged again, climbing onto the top bunk, “Something, that doesn't make you sound like a piece of metal would be a nice start.”

    Dirk frowned at that, “I’ll think about it.” Was all the reply Kar got before Dirk laid down as well. Strange how people related him to robots even when they didn’t know him. Perhaps that was why his friends often found him colder than ‘a witches’ tit’ as Jake had once said underneath his breath. Of course, that sparked an argument between them that only Jake would know what that was like. Dirk sighed, not hearing Kar ask another question. “What?” He grunted up at him, sunglasses pushed up and fingers rubbing his eyes. “I said, what are you in for?” Dirk’s mouth immediately formed a thin line and he let out a breath through his nose. “That’s my business.” Kar groaned, “Great, I’ve got a roommate with a stick up his ass. Jesus, you’re worse than fucking Evert on a good day. Hey, I just wanna know if you’re gonna kill me in my sleep or not.” The blond almost asked him who Evert was, but assumed it was the Native American inmate he hung around. Kar didn’t get a response to his observation of a stick up Dirk’s ass before he scooted away from the wall and sat up. “Is the medical wing still operating?” Kar turned to look down at him, hand supporting his chin. “Probably.”

    “I’m going there then.” He knew he didn’t need to tell Kar that, but his head was starting to hurt more seriously and needed something- more than likely his medication- before they shut it down for the night. Granted, it was barely mid-day by this point, but the prison already didn’t care enough to stop fighting inmates. They would more likely not give a damn regarding medication. His shoes tapped on the concrete floors as he walked, glancing at the window to see if his brother would be staring back at him again. Dirk saw only himself but didn’t find relief in that as much as he thought he would. On one hand, he wanted to see his brother’s face behind his again, just to see it was there. The high cheekbones, sharp nose, moderately full lips that they shared, and the very light dusting of freckles across their nose that they both shared. Dirk suddenly craved seeing his face again- he hadn’t technically seen it since before the game. The blond had a picture of Dave holding him as an infant, not knowing when it was taken or by whom. Hell, he’d met the younger version brother in the game but… it just wasn’t the David Strider that he knew- or at least, the one he had grown up thinking he knew. He wanted to see him again though. The paleness David had inherited from Roxy, the light blond hair he’d gotten from her as well and burning red eyes that he had never known he had until the Game passed.

     But he also feared seeing him again. Besides seeing the brother that he hadn’t really known besides what was leaked to the media, it also represented something in his own mind. If he was seeing his brother, either… either something had gone wrong in the Game or he was… hallucinating again. Dirk honestly didn’t know what was worse; being haunted by your dead older brother who was eradicated with the creation of a new galaxy and timeline or the Game of all things leaking into reality by some accidental misfortune of yet another doomed timeline. He supposed Jake or anyone else’s answer would have been the latter.

     He finally stood in a small line waiting for medication, eyes lowered down now he wouldn’t draw attention to himself in his thoughts. Dirk saw a few other inmates milling around, one of them was from the group he’d beaten with the pipe the other day. The man had a bruise on the side of his face to show for it, but was holding a picture of someone in his shaking hands. Dirk frowned a bit, looking up at him through his sunglasses, now able to watch people from the corner of his eye without being seen. Tears fell on the photograph and slid off, and thus caused Dirk to look away. It wasn’t that it made him feel uncomfortable to watch a man’s private moment, but the tears that made him feel like he wasn’t meant for the man to be seen. It had always been a private thing to him- or one that was the reaction from having something deeply hurtful happen to you. It wasn’t meant for something simple. He blinked, realizing what he was thinking inside his own mind and immediately cut it off. By God, was he really that cold to think the man was crying over the picture because it was simple and petty? Dirk held the bridge of his nose, calming his racing thoughts down as best he could. Being without medicine didn’t do him any good at all. He was finally next in line and stepped up to the counter. “Number?” The inmate asked and he frowned, “Uh- 413.” There was another pause before the inmate slid him out a cup of white tablets. He frowned, “What are these?”

     The inmate turned back around, looking across between violent and bored. “Medicine. Take it and scram. Make sure somebody sees ya take it.” Dirk shook his head, “I take two hundred milligrams of Klonopin and Tranylcypromine. You know, long yellow pill and a small red one. What the fuck are these?” He gestured to the long gray pills that had the no letters on them but the number ‘150’ on them. The inmate growled at him, “Look moron, I just hand out the medicine. You got a problem, see the warden. I don’t have time for this shit.” He shut the metal door to the medical area and locked it. Dirk blinked, looking down at the pills in the little cup. They weren’t probably even the right medication.

     A little voice spoke up inside his head and he swallowed hard remembering the chill it brought him. Nathanial was right in his ear, “Why don’t you take them and join our little family. Jenna and I miss you so…” He turned his head away from the whisper, feeling sick on his stomach. “I need those goddamn pills.” He murmured, turning on his heel toward the warden’s office. He hadn’t met the individual yet, but the cup remained full by his side. Dirk knocked on the door for nearly two minutes before it opened to one of the most frightening men he’d ever seen in his life. A sailor looking man with two scars on his face, with narrowed lilac eyes, and a nasty snarl on his face. It nearly made Dirk retreat and take the pills without a second thought. “What the Hell do you want?” The startling man was somewhat diminished by the slight speech impediment- making his words with ‘w’ in the start, longer sounding. It was from his jaw not moving all the way to the side and shaking forward, but it made Dirk almost regain himself. “The inmate in the medical wing gave me the wrong meds. I need the kind I’m prescribed.” The man narrowed his eyes, “Do I look like your mother?”

     Dirk narrowed his eyes at him, “Well with a little make-up…” He immediately got smacked across the face, knocking the glasses askew. Other inmates, that had been walking or standing nearby where the main 'courtyard' of the cellblock was, were now staring at them. Dirk took a deep breath, straightening his glasses with one finger before looking back at the man. “I don’t give a shit what you were given. They sent the meds down and if they sent them, fucking take them. Or do I have to get someone to shove them down your throat?” Dirk looked up at him, opening his mouth to say something else that would cause the warden to more than likely beat the over loving crap out of him before he was getting unceremoniously picked up around the waist. “What the fuc-!” Kar was there in front of him and the large Native American man was holding him around the waist. “Sorry, Sir. He’s a little new here. We’ll teach him how things work. No need to call the guards to tazer anyone.” Kar smiled at him, holding up his hands to try to smooth things over. The warden snorted before slamming the door in his face. Kar immediately turned before punching Dirk in the head, none too lightly. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He hissed at him and Dirk snarled back, “What the fuck is wrong with you! Let me fucking down!” He added to the one holding him and immediately he dropped.

     The larger of the three stepped away, looking at him with dark blue eyes behind his own- cracked- sunglasses. Long black hair was pulled into a ponytail as strong arms crossed in front of him. Dirk got up off the floor, somehow still amazingly keep the pills in the cup. Kar crossed his arms as well, staring at Dirk. “What makes you fucking think you can go fucking barging up to the fucking WARDEN and fucking complaining!? Are you fucking stupid?” Kar nearly foamed at the mouth and Dirk furrowed his brow, “Why the fuck not?!” The larger sighed, straightening his glasses. “This conversation should be had elsewhere and not outside the warden’s office.” His voice was deep, resonating and Dirk couldn’t… process the familiarity of it. “And who are you?” Dirk looked at him and the man turned his head to look over his glasses. “Evert. And you are?” Kar snorted, “He’s the legendary 413 I told you about.” Evert simply nodded before walking back toward the cellblock. Kar went in first to their cell, leaving Dirk to come in second and Evert to stand at the door- nearly blocking it he was so large. “So why did you decide to poke the one guy who can kill you and get away with it- scratch that, everyone can fucking kill you here.” Kar amended, watching Dirk who shrugged. “They gave me the wrong medication. I don’t exactly want to kill myself anytime soon.” Kar raised an eyebrow, “You’d be the first. Bet the asshole running medical told you to talk to the warden, huh? Fucking prick is trying to get you killed.”

    Dirk frowned, “What’s so damn wrong with talking to the man whose supposed to be taking ‘care’ of us?” He made little marks around the word he spoke with his fingers. Kar laughed bitterly, “You think anyone gives a damn about us in here? We’re here to be forgotten about!” Dirk looked up at him, “What do you mean by that?” Evert cleared his throat and Kar nearly deflated entirely before shaking his head. “Look, all, I'm saying, is that when we get here, most of us don’t leave. Privately owned prisoners are the worst taken care of and left to die. Some of the assholes in here were supposed to be released years ago. But nobody ever came and the paperwork disappeared. We’re sent here to die here and we can’t do a damn thing about it. So fucking hope and pray that your paperwork doesn’t go missing and the people on the outside don’t forget your name. But piss off the guards- especially the wardens? You’re gonna get yourself killed.” Dirk listened but didn’t believe half the things he was hearing. “What’s the point of staying alive then if you’re going to die in a place like this anyway?” Kar blinked, opened his mouth, and shut it again, looking to Evert for an answer and none came.

     The blond shook his head, “So what am I supposed to do about my pills in the meantime, suck it up and take whatever the fuck they gave me?” Kar frowned before shrugging, “Could be generic?” Evert shook his head, “It would be ill-advised to take a medication you knew nothing about.” Dirk shrugged, “Well if I’m going to die here, I might as well do it high as a kite.” He downed the pills before either of them said a thing. Two pills went down his throat and he shivered at the taste. The guards were calling for dinner and Evert glanced at them, “New work orders will be released to us tomorrow morning, we should gain our strength and rest as much as possible.” Before he left down the hallway. Kar snorted, “See what I have to deal with?” Dirk shrugged, stomach twisting for a moment before it settled, “Doesn’t seem all that bad to me.” Another bitter laugh spilled out, “Great, you go be best friends with him then. I’m going to dinner.” He left and Dirk knew he should follow him. His eyes were tired as he stood, legs feeling heavy from the day he’d just had. He was still thin, injured and more than a tad bit depressed. He felt something then, a presence in the room and he stopped short at the door. Dirk turned his head to meet his brother’s gaze. There was silence between them as David leaned against the back wall of the cell, arms crossed, still dressed in his red suit. Not a hair out of place, glasses seated on the end of his nose perfectly. The man didn’t turn into smoke and Dirk barely got the word out in a whisper, “Bro?”


	5. Echo

Red eyes from behind darkened sunglasses nearly burnt through his soul as he turned to look back at him. Dirk’s whisper was unacknowledged for a moment before the man in front of him raised his head to look directly into his own sunglass clad eyes. David was slightly taller than him, but that might have been from the black cowboy boots that he wore similar to the way his own pre-scratch self had worn. Dirk worked his mouth, staring still, but no sound or breath came, he wasn’t sure if his lungs even worked for the full two minutes he stared at his brother. The technically older brother in this situation still had his arms crossed, waiting for Dirk to speak, who finally seemed to be able to restart his brain function after nearly painting David into his mind. There was such a hurt and softness to Dirk’s words when they finally were said, “You’re a hallucination, aren’t you?” David blinked before nodding slightly. Dirk swallowed, rubbing his eyes for a moment from underneath the shades. “Shit, why you… why couldn’t have been Hal again…” He murmured.

                David cocked his head to the side, face still impassive as ever, “You’d rather not see me?” The shorter opened his mouth before shaking his head, “No… and yes.” David didn’t ask him why, as if he already knew the answer to that. “Why are you here, Dirk?” The question took the younger blonde off guard, mostly because he was in shock that his brother would ask that being his hallucination. Not only that, it added his belief that David would be disappointed if he knew he was in jail, and Dirk immediately recoiled from the question. “I…” He started and faltered, having a million and one things to say but unable to say one of them when he was finally face to face with his brother.  “I… I’m being punished for something I couldn’t do.” David continued to hold his gaze, walking toward him now and Dirk backed up now his boney shoulder blades were pressed into the cold steel bars of his cell. “No, you’re not.” His voice was soft, though Dirk could feel it resonate in his skin for seconds after he said it. He’d never known this man to be intimidating in any part of his life- perhaps interviews with reporters for companies that he didn’t care for, FOX News was one of the few, but never to people he knew. Had his mind made up this image to make him think that he should be afraid of this person? Or perhaps he had just put him on such a high pedestal that when he finally came face to face… he was frightened of him.

                 “What are you talking about?” He asked, eyes not daring to leave the red one’s in front of him. David stopped a few inches away from his face, so close he could feel the other’s chilling breath on his skin. His hallucinations always seemed so vividly real to him he could get lost in them. “Don’t play dumb to what you see right in front of you.” David nodded outside the cell like the answer would appear there in a moment, “You’re better than that. You can build robots overnight; solve any mathematical equation, read novels in minutes under the right conditions. Don’t act like you’re stupid.” Dirk bristled a bit, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You came to me! Talking about why I was in here and all that bullshit and now you’re calling me stupid- just fucking tell me if you have some ethereal message or some shit!” David shook his head looming over him, “I’m not going to tell you something that you should already know. I’m your projection. Hallucinations can only use what you know or what you think you know.” David arms remained crossed and Dirk shook his head, “This doesn’t work that way for me…” David turned away from him, walking away to look in the window to the desert outside with narrowed eyes. The cellblock was empty by now and the only guard was at the end of the hallway snoring in his chair. “The names of your cellmate and his friend, Kar and Evert, they sound a lot like Karkat and Equius do they not? Even look like them without the horns and the gray skin, not to mention the claws and pointy teeth with small changes to hair style.” Dirk paused before shrugging, “I guess when you over analyze it like that, sure, but what does the trolls have to do with anything?”

                “Everything.” David turned around to look at him. “You’ve already thought about what’s happened. The Game.” Dirk frowned, then shook his head pressing himself against that bars in a failing attempt to get away from him more, “No, that’s not possible. We shut down the Game now it wouldn’t be opened again unless there was some… some super event that no one could cause. We made sure that Game would never harm us or anyone else again. For all intensive terms, we destroyed it now it would never be activated again.” David walked past him back into the cell, “The Game wasn’t really a game, Dirk. It was a destruction sequence disguised for what it needed to be in our time. Some worlds it was a person, some worlds it was a statue, some worlds it was a plant. You realized this when the troll kind got the same sort of game but with a different name. Who made the Game? Who sent it? Why had we found other species that were trapped inside the game like the salamanders or frogs? It took the form of what it needed to be to be activated in the first place by some idiotic humans- A Game. But somehow you and your friends managed to beat it, unlike me and my friends. We paved the way for you in the null scratch- which you took advantage of to create the next perfect universe.”

                Dirk eye’s finally left him to look to the right, as if he was remembering all of this in his own mind’s eye. The trials in tribulations that they went through to win that mess had nearly killed them- it had, in some cases. “I already knew that much- not the shape shifting Game part, but that make’s sense as much as anything did in that session so I guess you pulled that from my subconscious. What are you getting at?” David turned back to him, “So why isn’t the world as perfect as you and your friends created? You each used your wish that you were granted at the end of the Game. The wishes were to create a better world, to keep your memories intact, stay together in the same time, and finally that the Game could never be restarted. So why isn’t the world perfect?” Dirk shook his head, not knowing the answer to that. The four had asked themselves that plenty of times, but they had chalked it up to bad phrasing or some sort of misunderstanding. They had been together with their memories… thus they thought most of it had been fine in the transference. “What are you trying to tell me?” He asked softly, fear growing like a stone in the bottom of his stomach. He already knew the answer but needed to hear it more than he wanted to admit.

                “There was a glitch in the game.” Dirk nearly felt his knees give out and his stomach drop. Sure, when someone said it out loud, it didn’t seem like that big of a deal. But the understanding of the Game it took to know that a glitch _never_ ended well for anyone. Especially those who were players involved. “What kind of glitch?” He regained himself and David shrugged, “I don’t know because you don’t know. But it’s obvious that the trolls are here. Kar and Evert? The best guess I can manage is Karkat and Equius with their memories erased. They’ll be drawn to parts of their life that are similar to their old ones. Like you.” Dirk nodded mumbling to himself, “Like atoms that are close to each other will tend to find each other again.” David nodded in agreement. “This means you have to find out what the glitch was and fix it before-.” The short blond broke out into bitter laugher, “Like fuck I’m doing that! I’m not fixing a god damn thing! If the trolls are here, so what, it isn’t that bad of a glitch. It doesn’t involve me- I won the Game and my days of torture and mayhem are over.” A red clad hand was held up to silence him suddenly and Dirk flinched away before feeling that nothing had actually hit him like he thought it was going to.

                “This is about you.” David’s hand stayed where it was. “It involves you especially… and Roxy, Jane and Jake. It’s about the future me, Rachel and Jenna. I fought so you could live in a better world, away from the destruction that was going to follow humanity because of what that Game caused. John, Jade, Rose and I all fought before we finally fell- just like our guardians did before us.” Dirk shook his head, stepping back from him. He didn’t know why there were tears in his eyes. “I didn’t ask you to do that for me! I never asked you to die for me- I _would never_ have asked that of you!” David was quiet then, opening his mouth before shutting it, reopening it a few moments later, “You didn’t have to. That’s what we do for our family and our friends.” Dirk shook his head, feeling sick on his stomach, tears coming out of his eyes like waterfall he couldn’t stop any longer.

                “God, just shut the fuck up! Do you know how alone I was?! Every fucking hurricane- every time I needed you there!? I had to teach myself how to fucking walk- I had to learn how to speak from a fucking television- I read subtitles of what you were saying in interviews before I could read the books that were scattered all over the damn apartment! You LEFT me there and I never even knew what happened until humanity was GONE and I was the only one left ALIVE!” He was screaming now but it didn’t stop him now, the emotions raging inside him hadn’t been brought up against the man in front of him before. He had never gotten this out of his system and it had been boiling inside his mind. The Dave he’d met in the Game didn’t deserve his anger, thus never received it. But the one in front of him did, even if he had made him inside his own mind. “I hated myself for years afterward- knowing exactly what you just told me. You died for me and humanity, and they still LOST and I couldn’t even help you. The Dave I met in the Game at least told me that I saved him but I couldn’t do a damn thing but read that you were last seen on some rooftop facing hundreds of thousands of that Fishy Bitch’s minions- killing her head two before she made an appearance herself and you LOST against her.” He was breathing too hard, feeling like his heart was going too fast- like he was on a verge of a heart attack. He had to sit down, putting his face in his hands. “I didn’t even understand why until I met you in the Game and met her…. I didn’t understand… and though I might understand now, I don’t want to… You just… forgot I existed and I grew up alone.”

                David did nothing but stand there during the vent that had years of pent up aggression in every word. Finally he settled down on one knee, bringing up his chin. “I never forgot about you.” He whispered, showing him a picture in his wallet. He remembered the smell of leather and it was the same picture from his room- the one he had never known the origin of. “You have to listen to me Dirk, you have to fight or there will be nothing left to fight for. That timeline you grew up in will repeat… and nothing will be able to stop it if you don’t try.” Dirk swallowed, shaking his head, the guilt returning in the back of his mind and swelling to take him over. “I can’t… I’m not strong enough. I belong here for not saving her. If I couldn’t save Jenna, I’m not fit to save anyone. Appear in front of Roxy or Jane… hell, Jake. They always managed to save the world- I’m just a destroyer.” There was silence before David stood slowly and ruffled his hair. “Denial.” He whispered sadly to him, before walking out the cell door. He opened his mouth, waiting for him to disappear before running after him.

                He ran face first into Kar who looked a tad bit angry. “Hey! There you are, who the fuck are you mumbling to? Never mind- get the fuck out here with me now we can get to dinner before Warden Shithead decides to throw you in solitary for taking too long to get there.” Dirk nodded, walking with him and seeing the world in a bit… more harsher spectrum of colors. He shook his head, walking with Kar into the dining hall to see Evert sitting with two other trays. Either he’d found the nicest group of prisoners or they wanted him to do something for them. He sat down in front of them, looking at Evert who had a raised eyebrow at the ‘chicken’ they were eating today. It was gray on the inside and he let out a long sigh through his nose, stirring the mash potatoes they were supposedly eating- or going to eat rather. Dirk was still seeing psychedelic colors for a bit and his heart beat strangely fast for him- he figured it was the emotions he’d just experienced a little while ago. Which the entire experience he was doing a fantastic job of blocking out now he wouldn’t burst into tears while he was in front of people.

                “Who fucking cooks this shit?” Kar made a face looking at the cookie that wasn’t actually cooked at all. “Apparently someone three hundred years old that’s blind, deaf, and mute.” Dirk muttered quietly with a frown looking at his own plate. He felt like he wanted to puke now but that wasn’t from the food. He was seeing the room spin and he felt hotter than he usually did. Then suddenly cold. Dirk blinked slowly before starting to fall back. “Hey-!” He heard Kar saying something before he fell backwards off the chair and onto the ground- starting to seizure.

                He could hear bits and pieces after that. He was blacking in and out. At times he was throwing up, other times he was groaning with a damp cloth on his head, other times he was begging for someone somewhere to kill him with the pain ripping through his system. He heard voices from time to time, some were soothing him, some he didn’t know while other’s he did. Kar spoke at one point, angry and snappy toward someone that he couldn’t see, "He just took three hundred milligrams of Adderall because you can’t put intelligent people in charge for the medical ward! Of course, he's gonna be fucked up for a bit- you can’t make him work like this- He can’t even fucking stand!" Evert told him something but it was too quiet for Dirk to hear and there was more yelling. Dirk continued to go in and out of consciousness, wanting to meet with whatever lay beyond the darkness he kept fading into.


	6. Wicked Schemes

                When he woke, Dirk didn’t move for a good fifteen minutes. His eyes stung, his throat was raw, his lips were dry and he felt numb in every part of his body except for the pulse that he could feel from his heart to his entire body. Hell- he could feel his heartbeat in his toes. His sunglasses were off to the side, as was an old mop bucket that didn’t look like it had been used for mopping in sometime… There was water by his bed in a styrofoam cup that he immediately reached for with shaking fingers. Dirk blinked at it, seeing the water quiver inside from how bad he shook. What the hell had happened to him? Of course, his mind already formed the answer that he’d overdosed on the drug he’d taken and was lucky to be alive if he’d really taken three hundred or so milligrams of Adderall. It was usually used for severe ADHD patients and even then most only took ten to thirty milligrams... He was starting to think he was being kept around for a reason as he drank back the water, feeling it run cold down his throat and down into his chest he was so dry. He let out a slow breath, blinking and reaching for his sunglasses. “Looks who is still breathing!” Kar snorted above him, and Dirk looked up to meet his eyes. Reddish brown met Orange and he swallowed. “Barely.” Dirk rasped and he shook his head, drinking more water. “Warden Douchebag is going to be out for you. Don’t piss him off again will you, then again that may be asking too much. You’ve been off your work assignment for three days.”

                “It’s not like I didn’t have a reason.” The one above him rolled his eyes, "Yeah, a shitty reason. Evert and I told you it was a bad idea and what do you do? Take the fucking pills. Real wise. Now I know why you fucking call yourself 413- because you're stupid as-" Dirk sighed angrily, head already pounding. "Jesus fucking Christ why are you such a crabby prick!" He knew in a split second he had said the wrong thing. Kar was out of his top bunk and trying to strangle him in under a second. "CALL ME CRABBY AGAIN, YOU MOTHERFUCKER. I'LL RIP OUT YOUR TONGUE THROUGH YOUR NOOK AND STUFF THOSE STUPID SUNGLASSES-" Dirk wasn't exactly worried about Kar hurting him, but the term of 'nook' didn't go unnoticed. He made him stop with grabbing a hand full of his hair like a mother cat would do her kitten- he had also done it to Karkat in the Game. Kar immediately went still before he dropped him, "Chill out." Dirk muttered and Kar stared at him wide eyed, "How'd you know how to do that?"

                He looked up from the cup, momentarily satisfied that Kar wasn't going to strangle him for now, "Most people have sensitive scalps." Dirk covered with a seconds pause, somehow he imagined that Kar would be the least likely person to believe him if he actually told him how he knew. The other seemed to have calmed down before crossing his arms, still looking disgruntled but at least not in the 'shoving things were they weren't meant to go' mode. "It’s visitation day tomorrow. You're on the list." Kar told him before exiting quickly from the open door of the cell. The new information took a moment to process. He'd taken the pills on his fourth day- and visitation rights were only granted after one week. That meant he had been out for about three days. Strangely he didn't feel that he was hungry in the slightest. His headache lessened with the sunglasses but not by much. He’d have to somehow prepare for meeting his friends again tomorrow and that… didn’t sit well with him.

                Dirk didn’t want them to see him like this. Thin, pale, near death in a number of areas… but at the same time he didn’t want to change either. He blinked slowly at the ground, taking hold of the side of the metal bunk bed and rising slowly. His legs still worked, so he could use that as a small blessing. He rose slowly, wiping his brow of the sweat there. Shower. Then food. No more medication- they clearly were trying to kill him. He walked out of his cell to nearly smack into a guard. He stepped back, eyes wide looking up at him for a moment, nearly going into a fighting stance to defend himself. It was the Warden, two scars across his face identifying him more than anything. Dirk took a step back, not knowing where to look or what to do for a moment; his fight or flight response was momentarily broken. “Look who’s awake.” His voice was soft, guttural, and sent all the alarms inside Dirk’s head off. He knew him now, the Warden was Dualscar… The years they spent in the Game, they fought a number of enemies both from their realities and outside of it. Dualscar had been one of the harshest of enemies. The man took out a rolled up piece of paper and smacked Dirk’s cheek with it twice before holding it out to his nose. “This is your work assignment. And since you’ve decided to take three days off… you’re going to work on every day the boys get off. Every. Single. Day. You’re not special here, 413. And I’m going to make sure you know that.” Dirk glared at him and the Warden smiled, “No one screws with me, 413. No one.” Dirk blinked slowly before shrugging, “Maybe you’ll meet the right woman and all that will change.” He took the paper from him while he was still stammering, fury building in his features.

 

                Before the warden could rip him a new one he hurried toward the cafeteria, slowly after the burst of energy from the wicked burn had worn off. Dirk knew that the time to make friends had surely passed, so he might as well just piss him off for a good laugh. He unfolded the paper as he walked, putting everything behind him for right now that may have clouded his judgment- if he was working more days it would keep him from getting bored at least. He didn't really know what a prison work assignment would be. Maybe cleaning toilets or doing laundry? He frowned, reading over the tiny lettering. "Dirk Strider, representative ID number 413, will report to bus 27 for work assignment." Did that mean he was going to be working on a bus? That wasn't a wise choice, he can fly a hoverboard but cars and buses were something altogether different. He shook his head, about to wrinkling up the paper. A voice stopped him and his eyes went wide, snapping in the direction he heard it. "Jake?" The word was whispered as he went in the same way he was looking. It spoke thousands that simply hearing Jake's voice could inspire him to follow it. He rounded a corner and nearly felt himself deflate and then his heart skipped a few beats.

                Jake was on the shitty television mounted to the wall in one of the separate rec rooms filled with chairs. He was in a black suit with an emerald green tie over a black dress shirt and matching green vest. Dirk couldn't do anything but stare and memorize the new things about him. It had been a week and Jake was sporting stubble that no longer made him look like a teenager. Jake’s green eyes could be seen even from behind his glasses, being so bright and vibrant that it made Dirk felt a pull in his heart. Jake was tall, strong, grown up, and... Tired? There were lines that the shitty prison television attached to the wall could just barely pick up that the blonde knew by heart. Jake hadn't slept well... Dirk swallowed, worry forming in his chest beside the hurting heart… then anger that he felt like that toward him at all.

                He stood at the doorway of the little room where a group of inmates were watching Jake in a debate with a talk show host. He listened but didn't believe what he was hearing entirely. "Mr. English, you've explained the situation to us with this high profile case but I still don't understand your involvement with it. I could understand if Dirk Strider, the one wrongly accused, was starting the 'Justice for Jenna' campaign but why you?" Jake pauses before shrugging, "I think the question is rather ‘why not’? This world is full of injustices which all need to be dealt with in due time, granted, but I know that the 'Justice for Jenna' campaign is going to rally the people for a united cause. Perhaps not just stop there, but if enough people behind an idea anything can change." The show host nodded, "And how many followers do you have at this point?" Jake did mental math in his head for a moment before moving his head as he spoke. "Roughly a million if not more. We're growing every day.”

                There was a low whistle in the audience and the host stippled his hands together, “And what do you hope to accomplish with what you’re starting? Nathanial Morris is dead and his brother is in prison- what do you mean ‘Justice of Jenna’?” The brunette didn’t answer at first before letting out a slow sigh through his nose, “What we’re hoping to accomplish is multiple things. One, to have Dirk Strider released from prison. Over one hundred and twenty five missing person cases have been solved because of what Dirk did- a monster was stopped in his tracks and we should do everything in our power to have him set free. This is not just bringing justice to multiple people but giving back the life that Dirk had taken from him. Two, is making sure something like this never happens again with proper reforms with police agencies and three… finding out why all of this happened in the first place. A man like Nathanial Morris doesn’t have generations of killers in his family without anyone knowing." The host chuckled, "That's very noble of you to find this all out." Jake shook his head to the negative, "No, I owe them that much."

                Dirk didn’t know why he had so many emotions in his head at once. He didn’t really understand it either. His mind flickered between hatred for Jake and the relief they hadn’t forgotten, then a wave of guilt and agony would rush over him. They showed pictures of marchers protesting in front of the courthouse with pickets with ‘#JusticeForJenna’ written on them, or ‘Free Strider’. The host went into his gambit, discussing Dirk himself. Recounting the facts from the case and what had supposedly happened after he was kidnapped. Of course, being national television, the more gory parts were skimmed over. Dirk felt sick slightly and was about to turn away when one of the inmates turned to another in the front row of the group of chairs. “Oi, don’t the new  guy look like that one?” A picture of Dirk and his friend’s went on the screen for a moment and Dirk felt the violent urge to rip it down. It was private- he was private- why couldn’t he just be left alone?! He left before the other could respond or someone saw him, walking fast down the hallway passing prison cell after prison cell until he spotted a sign that told him the showers were up ahead.

                He slid in past the heavy door, knowing that he’d be in for a rude awakening. The showers were communal and not the funniest places to be. Dirk ignored the other naked or recently toweled bodies around him, guards all stood around looking rather bored. He picked a more isolated spot where only a few men were in that row of lockers.  It wasn’t a particularly big room, but it was large enough to house about thirty people inside it comfortably- with showers at the end and much like the rest of the prison, had no windows to look out of. Dirk stripped his soiled clothing having picked up a new pair on his way into the room from a stack.

                A few of the inmates stared at him, just like the guards when he had first came into the prison, noting how abused the skin was and how badly his bones stuck out from starvation. The old scar that wrapped around his neck made most of them do double takes. It was long and white- jagged, not like a tattoo but an actual scar; making many of them think he was a ghost. His pale skin and orange eyes caused a few to back up as he closed the locker- though it had no lock on it in the first place- and headed toward the showers. Stepping into the rain storm cloud that pelted his skin like fiery rain. He hissed at the ferocity of it before settling it onto the back of his neck and washing his hair. He needed it- but tried to remind himself he shouldn’t take one of his infinite showers here. It still ended up being roughly forty-five minutes… but what could he say, he needed something to remind him of how he once was. He let out a slow breath stepping out of the shower room and into the locker area. Dirk dressed- the entire room vacant now, his solace was in the silence and he glanced at a mirror to see his hair was all flat. He frowned seeing no reflection behind him for once. That was fine. He wasn’t concerned. He… He could hear nothing and he let out a low breath; suddenly needed to hear people. Dirk shoved his glasses and burst out of the room to be met by other voices and immediately settled, breathing more calmly before. He’d nearly had a panic attack on the sole reason he thought he was alone….

                He let out a breath, running his hand over his face and shook himself. Dirk immediately jumped, the lunch bell going off and he let out a sigh. He craved other people now… craved people he trusted moreover, but now he couldn’t be too close or someone might recognize him. He didn’t know how they would react and thus, didn’t want to initiate anything. If they were going to find out, he was going to wait until the last possible second he could. He made his way into the line once again, eyes downcast away from the other prisoners who were filling in around him. Kar and Evert were already there at their table, sitting silently besides their rare utterance. Dirk looked at them for a few moments before looking down at his plate. It didn’t look the least bit appetizing. “Who cooks this shit?” He muttered under his breath and the twitchy inmate behind him happened to answer in a soft wheeze. “They don’t. It’s left over’s from whatever the guards don’t take.” Dirk’s head inclined upward to look at the man, “The guards take the good food for themselves?” The inmate looked around and whispered through holey teeth, “They have a store room with all of it. Up in the officer’s wing. That fucker Jackson has all the keys.” Dirk frowned before moving forward in line, away from the man who twitched so hard his drink spilt slightly. He saw down with the two, Evert nodding briefly at him, Kar said nothing but picked at his plate.

                “So what’s bus 27 supposed to be for?” Kar and Evert both looked up at him in a pause of stabbing and frowning at their food. They looked up at the other before Evert answered him softly, “It’s a worker bus. It takes those who are assigned to it, like Kar and I, to loan us out for work to several institutions… it’s often brutal work.” Kar looked at him through the corner of the eye, “They rent us out to assholes that make us work without food or rest for about four days straight before shoving us back on a bus to come back here. Three days off before they throw us back out there to die of heat stroke and let the vultures have our corpses.” Evert frowned, before sighing, “You’ve been assigned to bus 27?” Dirk nodded before glancing up at the other inmates seated at other tables. “Sounds like Hell.” Kar snorted, “You have no idea. But you will. We have to go today.” Dirk nodded, looking back at his food. A horrible work assignment… seeing Jake… tomorrow he’d see him in the flesh. But first… he had to survive today.


	7. Short Change Hero

Dirt kicked up from underneath the spinning bus wheels as they went along the unpaved road. Cold steel hung heavily around his wrists and ankles while Dirk did the only thing he could do in this situation- stare out of the prison bus’ window. There wasn’t honestly much to see out there- besides oil rigs and left to die farm land that saw too much sun and not enough rain. It hadn’t taken long in all honesty to chain each prisoner together, prod them onto bus 27 and send them off into the lands were the mafia often buried their dead to not be found again. The dust that was being kicked up from the sandy road made a film grain across the window, only allowing minimum visibility. His eyes, squinted even now, from the harshness of the sun streaming into the window. Kar sat not too far ahead of him, while Evert sat horizontally behind him. They passed several other prisoners, those he assumed had been the first few trips on bus 27 or perhaps another cell block all together from the different color jumpers. He let out a slow breath, feeling the grate in his throat from what particles wormed their way inside through the buses small holes in its metal skeleton.

                The prisoners they passed were working hard digging for silo supports or building, some were tilling the land and others were harvesting as best they could. Dirk watched each they passed until they crossed the eyesight of one who was staring straight ahead into the sun. His eyes fell on him first- almost catching sight of him in slow motion- before he was gone. The prisoner’s eyes were sunken and there were three long scratches on his cheek, and Dirk had to do a double take before the other was gone. Long left behind in the dust cloud; though he could swear that they had been staring straight into each other’s eyes for a moment. A brief, incomprehensible understanding and knowledge of each other’s presence on some… strange level. Dirk swallowed, feeling the same stone settle in the bottom of his gut before looking away from the window. He already had enough on his plate than some prisoner who was half crazed by sunstroke. His orange eyes focused forward on the guards with shotguns, one being in the front beside the driver and the other in the back.

                Dirk looked down at his feet then, not wanting to look at anyone too long to make him think he was trying to start something. The inmate behind him had a nasty bruise from doing that early on in the ride. If you stared too long, they would make you unable to stare at them again. There was something sobering in that, he imagined. He let himself continue to breath slowly, pretend that he was unaware of what was going to happen to him shortly… and truly, he really didn’t know. Kar and Evert had been extremely vague in what they were going to put Dirk through and he didn’t know whether to be grateful for not having fear on the edge of his mind going into this… or fearful of the unknown itself. In mere minutes he was sure to find out. Though as he thought this, the bus wheels started to grind to a stop, bus shaking and sputtering with the mildly rough terrain. “Look alive, ladies! Time to get off your asses and work for a living!” They were ushered up from their positions via two to a seat and made to stand in a line going off the bus. The sun immediately hit him and he could have sworn that his skin sizzled underneath it. Of course, he was nowhere near as pale as Roxy was… but he was still very close to cue ball color.

                He stepped out and guards shut and locked the bus door behind the last person. They had their cuffs unlocked from their wrists and ankles and the Warden looked down at them all. He stood between the inmate who had told him the guards stole food from the inmates and another who was twice his size. Dirk’s eyes glanced around a bit more wildly than they should have, more out of the desire to memorize his surroundings now he wouldn’t feel so… exposed. The Warden tapped his cowboy boots on the sand, chewing something in his mouth before spitting it out on the ground. It was probably the grossest thing he knew; people spitting tobacco chew on the ground. At least smoking a cigarette looked a _little_ dignified versus just hacking a wad on the ground. The man’s voice drew Dirk out of his thought’s, “Welcome to El Desierto. Where you ladies will be spending the next twelve hours doing whatever tasks that the owner of this property wishes. You all know the drill but for our new comers today...” His wicked, almost sharp, grin formed looking at Dirk through his sunglasses, “I’ll explain the rules.” He walked around. “We aren’t within establishments walls anymore! So there are no rules!” The Warden shouted as they were circled by men with shotguns. Dirk felt very… very, exposed.

                “If you try to run?” He asked rhetorically and pointed to his left, “There is a town, about a hundred and fifty miles to your right!” His arm went the other direction, “And that way is about a river two hundred miles. Back behind you is a good seventy mile walk back home and in front of you is a cliff. All of these directions are void of water, food, shade, and covered with every poisoness son of a bitch creature you’ll ever meet. So… We will not come after you. We will not remember you. Go! Shoo!” He was still grinning, “We won’t even come to pick up the body. One person has tried that journey before. And we found his bones on a hike a couple years later.” Dirk swallowed, throat already feeling raw from the lack of water. The Warden chuckled at their joint looks. “We do have the right though, if you fuck around, or start trouble, or not listen… to shoot you and let you bleed out. We have no rules here.” He nodded, “Go see the owner for your work duties and we’ll come pick you all up when your day is done. Except you, 413, who is gonna stay here and work until your fingers and toes bleed.”

                Dirk looked up at him, lips sealed shut with a glance from Evert and Kar toward him, otherwise, no one stood up for him. No one would. He didn’t lower his head though, he had done enough of that under the shadow of Nathanial. They were forced to walk, the Warden waving goodbye to them as they left before climbing back on the bus where there was air conditioning. Dirk followed in the group as some started to dig pylons for the oil rigs or sickles for the crops. Either way, the group was split in half to do their shares of the work. As they did, Kar grabbed him around the bicep and took him into the line for the crops since he was still standing in the line they were first in. “Leave you alone for fifteen minutes and the Warden fucking gives you overage days.” He murmured, pushing a sickle into his hand and a cloth. “What’s this for?” He asked softly, trying not to draw attention to them since Kar had been whispering to him. “For when your hands bleed.” Evert murmured beside him; how the larger man moved around so quietly he would never know. He picked up a basket and same items Kar had just handed to him before gesturing to Dirk for him to follow.

                They went out into the fields, where crops stretched for miles. There was a ‘shitty’ irrigation system that broke half the time and made them work in the mud. Dirk didn’t waste his time trying to figure out why it didn’t work or why the lines were broken on some of the attachments. The men with shotguns regularly patrolled, and he didn’t dare make them angry. A lot of the inmates complained about their feet having fungus when it let loose for a second time before another hour was up. Chopping down plants wasn’t the hard part strangely enough; it was dealing with the heat. The water issues (both drinking and mud) and the fact that Dirk was so sunburnt by the time the next hour rolled by that Kar was thinking about holding him underneath a corn stalk. “Who gets this fucking pale?” He asked under his breath, shaking his head at Dirk’s now cherry red skin- it was peeling horribly.

                Kar’s own was tanned, like he had been doing this long enough to get one. Meanwhile, Evert had the skin tone that claimed he had been in sunshine much more than either of them had. Dirk didn’t think it could get much worse by the time the sun was directly over their heads. Two inmates had fainted already. He swallowed against dry, cracked lips that were slightly parted to breath in the boiling air. Dirk felt like he was being cooked alive in his own skin and leaned up, back popping with the movement he had been bent over so long. He felt a weight being pushed onto his head and he looked up to see Evert had put a baseball cap on his head. Dirk blinked tiredly, wavering where he was standing, the other man looked down at him for a moment before letting go of the edge. He looked up at it, seeing it was orange in color to match his jumpsuit. Ironic.

                “Thank you.” He said softly and Evert shrugged, putting the stocks they were cutting from the plants in his basket. “Orange is more your color than mine.” He cut the next stalk, the cloths wrapped around his hands. Dirk looked at his own that weren’t thankfully raw yet from the sickle. It wasn’t a sword, but he had built up enough strength in his hands to withstand something like this. He went back to cutting, not removing the baseball cap from his head. It gave him a little relief from the star above him. Kar swore at times, but kept uncharacteristically silent as he worked. Guards would wander past, smoking their cigarettes and checking their shotguns. They would make the offhanded remark at times telling them to hurry or there were still thousands more to cut down. Dirk said nothing, nor did the two inmates he found himself working between. It was strange to almost feel a kinship between the men by his side. Even if they were convicts, or hell, trolls at one point. It didn’t seem to matter now as the sun kept making its way across the sky until it was nearly sunset. The guards came for them… all except 413.

                Kar looked back at him as he boarded the bus and the guard that remained kept a shotgun trained on Dirk. He tried to offer a small smile, but it didn’t come. He was ushered toward other workers who had apparently pissed off their own Wardens and told to start working. Dirk looked up at the large oil silo, the piston moving rapidly as men either wielded, tossed coal into flames, built more, or dug for the pillars to hold them up would be deeper. The end of a shotgun was pushed into his back and he started forward, the sun setting and flood lights were turned on. He took off his upper jumper with a hiss, wrapping it around his waist as he grabbed a wielding tool and started to climb- like all the inmates, up the pylons holding up the giant make-shift oil rig to stabilize the piston pumping oil out of the ground. It made him curious, when he wasn’t too tired to think, who would have oil rigs that were one, as shitty as these were, and two, would hire inmates to do their dirty work. He supposed prison labor was cheaper but… there was a point where someone should draw the line between the work of experts and the work of a criminal. His own thought made him pause for once. Was that what he was now? A criminal being used as cheap labor?

                He frowned hard, straddling the beam as he made sure another bolt didn’t raddle it’s way loose and kill everyone above him. It sobered his raging thoughts… Along with the idea that he wasn’t going to get a chance to really explore that train of thought for long. Dirk had been working so long at this point that the minutes had gelled together and in the distance, he saw a bus coming toward the group of inmates that had done the overnight work. None of them had spoken to each other- a form of solitary he supposed. No one talked, so no would stop being productive. The bus screeched to a stop from old breaks as he wandered over and stood in line with the rest. Kar and Evert looked him over. The sunglasses, orange ball cap, black tank-top with orange over-alls tied tightly around his waist. The sunburn on his shoulders and bleeding hands. For a moment it was the oddest thing, like they knew him before, as they saw the Warden step off the bus and looked straight into Dirk’s eyes. “Look who decided to stay here! I guess he thought he couldn’t run as fast as his mouth.” There was a half second that Dirk wondered if he should let it go before sighing out, “I would tell you to go fuck yourself but I’m pretty sure you’d be disappointed.” The other inmate’s mouths dropped while Kar grinned like he’d won the lottery. Evert groaned with a soft utterance of, “Foolishness.”


	8. Between The Bars

Jake’s fingers had started to tap a drumline’s entire song by the time Dirk came walking out of the steel doors to the visitation room. There would be a pane of glass between them and only phones to hear the other… but at least he could see him. It had been one hell of a two week distance. After just getting him back, to take Dirk away again was… painful, to say the least. The first time Jake had come for a visit, the Warden had refused him entrance into the building entirely. Of course, Jake had nearly strangled the man moments later but it took a fair amount of calming from Jane and Roxy to simply go back to the car. He’d also been informed by the Warden that they would only allow one visitor at a time. Jake knew that was a lie as he looked around the room to see entire families talking with inmates. Or perhaps the Warden thought so badly of them or Dirk that they had only cleared one person at a time… It was sad in a way, to see how many people were put into this place and how their expressions looked like they were suffering.

Jake swallowed and looked down at his nails, suddenly nervous. He hoped Dirk had been eating- sleeping at least. At the hospital, Dirk would wake up screaming sometimes with either a fever or a night terror. He would try to remove himself from the room entirely, either by pulling out his IVs or by simply ripping them out in a mad dash toward the door. They had locked it before to keep out irritating nurses and people who wanted the ‘true’ story from Dirk; but after Dirk had nearly clawed his way through the door, they stopped locking it entirely. Jake shook his head to get the image of Dirk in the fetal position in the hospital room, pushed against the corner of the room with bloody fingernails, whispering to the shadows to keep away from him; Dirk obviously still thought he was trapped in the room Morris had imprisoned him again. It worried Jake more to picture him doing that here, trapped in a room without any way out. It had been probably the hardest moment since rescuing Dirk in the first place.

 The door opened at the end of the hallway behind the glass and Dirk was pushed through. Jake nearly shot out of his seat seeing him. Dirk had his head held high, face bruised and burnt from a harsh amount of sun, both ankles and wrists were cuffed with the pair on his feet only having enough chain to move. Jake wanted to screech at them to let him go- none of the other inmates had been brought in that way- at most cuffs- but he knew he would have been asked to leave and he _needed_ to check on Dirk. Jake stared at Dirk through the glass when he was finally forced into the seat, eyes wide as tennis balls. There was a phone for them to talk through that was attached to dull gray walls that matched the floor that could have once been white tile. Nothing too special, and definitely nothing that would murder a prison’s budget. The guards all wore heavy vests and carried shotguns or multiple handguns- especially the one’s behind Dirk that were retreating back to the door. The security there was over anyone’s head. Jake took mental notes to tell Jane and Roxy later, though seeing Dirk like this… he wondered if he should lie. He was supposed that they could use this later on when filing the appeal with the Supreme Court. Vincent was working overnights with them to build a stronger case before the trial was going to take place. Seeing Dirk across from him… all rational thought was thrown out the window.

                Dirk looked like he had been cooked, beaten and starved, which was a lot worse than he pictured him when he finally saw him again. The blond had a new orange hat, sunglasses that weren’t like his old pair but more aviator like, his skin around it and on his exposed arms were sunburnt it nearly looked like he had actual burns on him. He was thin, to the point he could count every rib underneath his black tank top. His face was unemotional- like before they had gotten together. There was tension in his muscles though, showing that he had been wary of this meeting as much as Jake have been. Jake caught sight of the cut on his lip that he’d been hit recently. His noise also looked like it had been hit.

                Finally he reached for the phone and took it off the hook, ignoring the yuck that built up in the plastic parts. Dirk seemed to have been waiting for him to do the same and immediately leaned forward a second later to take his end of the line. It crackled terribly but he could hear him breathing- and that was probably the best thing about it. “Are you alright?” Was the first thing that came tumbling out of Jake’s half opened mouth, he was leaning so far toward him that his knuckles were pressed against the glass from where his fist was on the table. Dirk raised an eyebrow at him and raddled the cuff’s chains. “Well I’ve been better, but they have great fashion sense here. I’ve never had so much bling in my life.” Jake had a flicker of a smile. If Dirk could be sarcastic he wasn’t completely gone then.

                “I’ll take that as a ‘surviving’.” He sighed, “Vincent and the girls are working hard to find any kind of loophole to get you out of here sooner.” There was a quiet pause between them before Dirk shrugged, “Yeah… saw you on the television the other day. The suit was nice.” Jake blinked before realizing he meant the last interview. He’d recently been on a lot of television shows discussing Dirk and the Morris case. He’d met a lot of opposition but it wasn’t going to make him stop by any means. “Oh that, yes, Roxy has quite the fashion sense as well. She designed it for me.” Dirk looked up at him from where he was staring at the floor as Jake rattled on. “Where are the girls?” Jake swallowed, licking his lips, if he told him that the Warden had refused them to come he might retaliate and that was the last thing any of them needed. “They had me go ahead and come. You’re… only allowed one visitor at a time since its maximum security. They barely let me through the door with my keys.” Dirk was frowning at him, cocking his head to the side again like he was examining him. Dirk always could tell when he was lying… but apparently this time he let it slide. Jake didn’t know if it was the setting or something else, but he felt very… on edge, with this Dirk. It was the man he loved in front of him, but it… it was different.

                “Everything okay at home?” Dirk asked suddenly, like he had a question underneath his question. Jake frowned, “Yes… and no. It isn’t really home without you. Jane’s been keeping everything up in your apartment but I’ve made sure your part piles haven’t gone astray.” He shrugged, “Dirk… I know it must be hard in here but just… hold on a little longer. We’re doing the best we can to get you out-“ He was ran over by Dirk, “Why did you call it ‘Justice for Jenna’?” Jake paused, his words forgotten to make room for Dirk’s question, he shrugged, “It seemed like the right thing to do. After your trial and how close you were to her.” Dirk nodded and a guard started to call for them to wrap things up. Jake winced, “I’ll come back and see you as soon as possible. Roxy will come by next and Jane after her. I… I know what you said before about us being together but I don’t care. Well, I do, but, you’re still… still important to me. Even if you don’t want what we had back-” Dirk shook his head while pulling away to lean back in his chair, “Jake, please stop.”

                Jake swallowed, green eyes searching the covered one’s in front of him. He shut his eyes briefly, leaning back as well. “I’m sorry. I know what you said.” He whispered and Dirk frowned now, “I have my reasons.” Jake nodded, “I… I know you do. They’re legitimate reasons as well. You’ve been through so much and I’m… I’m probably not helping it.” Dirk shook his head, “It’s not for what happened at the bar. There are other reasons.” The other looked up at him, not understanding, “What do you mean?” The guards clearly weren’t as focused on wrapping up at they had been a moment ago as one started texting. “I can’t tell you. You wouldn’t believe me if I did.” Jake snorted, “Try me. You told me you were from the future once and you see how well that went over.”

                Dirk flickered a smile then but it disappeared so fast that Jake wasn’t sure he saw it at all. Perhaps he’d just twitched. “Still.” Jake sighed as the guards started walking around again. Why did Dirk have to do that and be so vague? He’d always been like that but when it came to something that was this bloody important? If there was a reason besides his own utter stupidity that was making Dirk not want to be with him, he deserved to know didn’t he? “Alright… Fine, I won’t push but you can’t say those sorts of things and then not explain. The guards are getting antsy so I’ll go.” He stood up to go and Dirk looked mildly panicked. “Jake, wait!” The blond sounded so desperate that Jake stopped in his tracks, turning back to him with the phone still in hand- having not gone farther than to stand yet.

                Dirk swallowed, “I have to tell you something before you go.” Jake sighed, running a hand over his face, sitting back down. The way he had said that made him… wary, for some reason. “What is it?” Dirk leaned across the table, “We need to stay apart. There is something going on here. Just… keep Roxy and Jane away.” Jake looked like he was about to argue when Dirk shook his head, “You have to trust me. The trolls are here. Karkat- Equius- even Dualscar. They’re here and the Game has glitched out.” He worked his mouth, watching Jake’s expression change slowly from worry to pain. “I don’t have any proof and I can’t get any here. Just… trust me. Keep them safe.” He wasn’t going to tell Jake about this… but… the warnings had gone off in his brain that he had to tell the other before something happened.  And if nothing happened, Dirk knew they would just think he was crazy and keep him here like he deserved. Jake slowly blinked at him, a sadness settling in his eyes. “Dirk… the game is over. There is no way they are here. Let alone in jail with you.” His voice dropped into a whisper, “Are you taking your medication?”

                Dirk hissed through his teeth. Of course he hadn’t been taking his medication- was Jake stupid to what went on in prisons? Jake shook his head, “I can bring that up in court to see if we can get you at least less security. They look like they’re ready to kill prisoners here.” Jake swallowed, “I know it’s hard-.” He didn’t know why Jake saying that he knew anything about his situation pissed Dirk off, but god did it. “Don’t give me that. I can’t get a damn piece of medication unless I fucking kill the guy giving them out and take his place before he kills me.” He shook his head, Dirk fixed his gaze on him again. Jake frowned, “Killing people? What the Hell, Dirk! You’re supposed to be behaving while we work on getting you out!”

                Dirk nearly snarled at the other, “Dammit Jake, just listen to what I’m saying! Either keep the girls safe or leave me here- find out who was behind the judge who made the decision to put me here. Find the one pulling the strings. If you find him or her, you’ll find why Nathanial kidnapped me and why the trolls are here in the first place!” Jake shook his head, the expression on his face distraught, “Dirk… you were there, the game is _gone._ ” Dirk made a sound in his throat like he was exasperated, “No- No- That’s what I thought- Jake-!” Jake rose and shook his head. “No, Dirk! The game is over and we’re not blaming our problems on that! It’s no excuse!” Dirk blinked up at him before shaking his head, venom in his eyes. “Fine. Go on believing that this was all just one big misfortune while the world crumbles around you. Be Oblivious. It’s what you’re fucking good at.” Jake opened his mouth to say something but shut it, turning away from him, slamming the phone down on the receiver.

                Dirk stared at him as he left out the door. The guards took no notice of him as he didn’t put the receiver down on his end. He wished he would walk back in but know Jake was already in his car, driving past the speed limit back home or the next meeting. His mouth was a thin line and he let out a long sigh through his nose. There was another crackle in his phone and he heard voices that made him pause in the moment to put the receiver back on the hook. His eyes lowered slightly, recognizing one of the voices but not the others. Evert was having visitation with someone- a female. “How’s he doing?” The female asked softly, a slight accent to her voice. “As well as one can be.” There was a sigh, “I hope Thad is a bit easy on him. I know how bad it affects him being locked up in here. Thaddeus still leaves flowers for Solomon every day too. It’s a little hard now that he’s in a wheelchair but we manage.” There was silence from Evert’s end so she continued, “Victoria is constantly being a pain too… I wish you were at the house still.” Evert sighed, “I’m better off here, Nadine.” The girl, who Dirk assumed was Nadine sniffed, “I don’t know how you can say that- you don’t even belong here. You protected us both from that… him.” She sounded like she was shaking her head from the movement against the phone, “You protected us. So did Kar. What happened to Solomon- it was an accident, a pure and complete accident. I wish you’d stop blaming yourself-.” Evert interrupted her, “I don’t blame myself. What happened to Solomon was unavoidable. Someone was going to die that night and it happened to be him.”

                Nadine shook her head, “What are you saying? Solomon didn’t need to die, no one did. He started this… wait… is this about that stupid tribal law you are trying to uphold still? Evert, we were annexed from the tribe; we don’t belong under their rules.” Evert sighed, “Don’t raise your voice; there are other’s that can hear you. I attacked the man who let us into his home on good faith. The law states that I will not attack another man on the grounds of his home and I did that. By all circumstances I belong in he-!” Nadine interrupted him now, “Dammit Evert, you were protecting _me_! Doesn’t that matter to you anymore? Or are you so caught up in tribal law made by people who don’t exist anymore that you’re missing that fact that there are _real_ people outside these walls that _need_ you _now.”_ Evert was silent for a while and Nadine sniffed again, like she had been crying. “Gabriel didn’t even made the decision for us to be in that house. Kar did. So if you’re so hell bent on protecting someone then you should worry about Kar. All Gabriel did was get Solomon killed and nearly kill Thaddeus. Now that Victoria keeps coming around to rub the whole damn thing in. I wish you’d just tell the truth and stop this… I need you, Evert. And not in here.” Dirk swallowed before hanging up the phone as gently as he possibly could. He had no idea why he had listened in on their conversation… just because, he supposed. Which still wasn’t a good reason.

                He got up from the chair, still shuffling in the shackles that the Warden had put him in because he had pissed him off a week ago. Today was his last week of punishment. With both overnights and the metal bonds. Kar had tried to pick the lock to give him some relief, but it had ended with him swearing. Of course, Evert had refused to help because of Dirk’s ‘willful involvement with foolishness’. He walked past a silent Evert watching Nadine cry. Dirk knew who they were and it was… strange, and painful, walking past who he knew were Equius and Nepeta. She looked similar to what she used to, with similar skin tone to Evert and black hair that was cut short. A green jacket rested on her shoulder’s, and she had a small cat charm on her necklace that was blue. He was headed toward the door when he caught sight of Kar listening to a man in a wheelchair, who he assumed was Thaddeus. Kar nodded at times, but kept the frown on his face, brows furrowed together in concern. Thaddeus kept smiling, talking about something that might have been more happy than not to make Kar feel better. If the meeting with Jake hadn’t depressed him enough, watching those two lost in their own worlds made it worse. The guards escorted him back through the halls to his cell and finally unchained him. He watched his brother walk by the cell’s door one last time in almost slow motion. He knew there was finality to his walk and he let out a low breath. “ _See you later, bro.”_               


	9. Remember The Name

Dirk jerked awake, still hyperventilating from his nightmare. His eyes blinked wildly around the room- making sure he wasn’t in the cell again. His skin felt like it was crawling so he immediately brushed the imaginary spiders away. Nathanial haunted his dreams as much as a pair of eyes did now. The eyes… they watched him from the ceiling of the dark cell he’d been kept prisoner in a few months ago. His own shut, then reopened, making sure the pair in the nightmare wouldn’t suddenly reappear when he wasn’t looking. They were pink- hatred and murder all wrapped in one gaze- slits that burnt things into his skull that he didn’t know existed or… or had never experienced. Like he was reliving someone else’s life in his own mind; tings that he had never lived through but had a feeling he knew who did. Splashes of blood on a wall that that contained all different colors and scared, screaming faces haunted him in every sleeping moment. Dirk brushed a hand over his face and then into his hair, slipping on his sunglasses as morning came.

                He let out a breath that was caught in his chest, brushing the sweat off his brow as well. The eyes were the worst… because of how they made him feel inside his chest. Like he was small and insignificant… that he would be crushed soon without a single… single thought otherwise. It made his heart race and hope flee from his heart as he’d stare back into them knowing that all hope was lost. There were thousands of whispers in the dream- things he had said, what had been said to him- some phrases he’d never heard before… Some were shouting and some were whispering but yet he could hear them all- like a hundred thousand souls were trying to talk to him at once. The dream was always the same… and it was slowly starting to swallow him whole- it wrapped around him like ropes and poured down his throat like ink… He shook his head, composing himself to try to rid himself of the fear that clung to him like mist on a lake.

                “Bad dream?” Kar asked from above and he looked up to see him half hanging over the bed. His face was looking at him, arm swinging very slowly where it dangled. Dirk didn’t see the point in lying, “Yeah.” His voice was soft, finding his eyes to focus on the desert outside the barred windows in front of their cell. There was silence between them before Kar sighed, “You’ll get used to them.” Dirk looked up at him but didn’t reply when Kar fixed his gaze on him, “Wanna talk about it?” The blond shook his head to the negative. “It’s… a lot of personal shit. I’ll work through it.” Kar shrugged, before rolling back over. “Go back to sleep then. Another two hours before they decide to wake us up. It’s Sunday.” Dirk nodded, though Kar didn’t see it. “Why are you awake then?” He meant it rhetorically but Kar answered anyway, “You talk in your sleep.” The man on the bottom bunk froze and stared at the names carved into the steel bedding. “Seems like Jake is a really important guy.” Another pregnant pause filled the silence and Dirk shut his eyes. There was a mix of anger at himself for letting someone hear him in his sleep, versus the fear of how much Kar had heard. Dirk shut his eyes tightly, hugging his pillow tightly to his chest. It hurt to think of Jake and the other’s… it fucking hurt. “Not anymore.” He whispered and Kar never replied.

                By the time morning  came, Dirk was more tired than he had been before. He rose from his bed, shuffled  through the masses toward the mess hall were a small group was laughing loudly. They looked like other prisoner’s from a different cellblock. He frowned, looking toward them but didn’t ask why they were there- none of his business in his opinion. He didn’t know whether he enjoyed the lack of hallucinations or it made him feel lonely by this point- like hell he was going to try to come out of his shell either It had been a few days since he’d last seen his older brother or any other image of a loved one crop into his mind. The work was hard on the fields, but at least he was coming back in with the other inmates by this point. He supposed he should count the small blessings about now. No need to fuck them up.

                He grabbed a tray and turned his head yet again to look at the baby blue suited inmates who were nodding and one was beatboxing. The line didn’t move fast and he sat down with Evert and Kar in his usual place. He was one of the lucky few of the new inmates that hadn’t just been shoved on the floor to eat. Counting his blessings was something he was going to have to learn how to do more often in this place. Kar was looking with distain at the group as well. “Great, the shitty rappers are back.” He muttered darkly and Dirk looked up, “The who what?” Evert gestured with his head slightly tilted toward the group of men. “From Cell Block B. Supposed to raise moral by going to each cellblock once a month to rap.” Kar snorted, “More like shitty poetry.” Dirk watched them stand on the table and start to beatbox more, then set up a mic. Kar boo’ed for moment and went silent as the mic screeched for a moment. “How ya’ll do’in?” There were two men, one that could be three times the other one’s size. The table bent under his weight and no one replied. “Come on- ya’ll can speak!” There was united roar of slurs or actual answers. The man- that Dirk could see now had silver grills in the front of his teeth- “Good! So I got some rhymes to lay on ya-! Ya’ll ain’t got that rap for a raptor’s claw and a thunda clap ain’t got not’in on that, am I right?” Dirk made a face.

                It continued and after a few moments Evert had bent the metal spoon completely over and Kar was slamming his head into the table. Dirk stared as the other inmates looked either annoyed or about ready to shank them. He didn’t know what possessed him but he stood up and sauntered over in front of the table. The two slowly stopped their horrid attempt at rhyming. “And what you want, fool?” Dirk cocked his head to the side, “How about you shut the fuck up and let someone who can rap take your day job.” They looked at each other, “Who- you, white boy?” Dirk frowned, “Bitch think he can rap!” They laughed and got off, shoving the mic at him. “Go ahead, white boy! Rap!” Dirk took the mic in his hand, frown still on his face and climbed the table. “Don’t break a leg on the climb.” The other sneered, looking at how thin he was. Dirk stood there for a moment and glanced at the room who either were about to laugh or were anxious. Dirk pursed his lips, looking down at the blue table. “Ohh- white boy gonna cry?” One of them made the action of rubbing their eyes and Dirk sighed. “Yo Kar- give me a beat.” Kar looked at him like he was stupid before Dirk gestured for him to hurry.

                He rolled his eyes before beating on the table in a slow tempo with his fist. Dirk nodded and started stomping with the back of his heel to make it louder. Soon the beat kicked up throughout the room and Kar stopped, watching the other inmates either stomp or clap. It created a great effect and one that he needed. The two idiots who he couldn’t bear to call rappers in his mind went silent.

_  
“You want me to rhyme_

_Let's see if I've got some spare time-_

_This shit’s about to form into a line._

_Everybody wants a piece of me- I'm almost a victimless crime-_

  _Hereby stricken by a world decree, building sick fires of a third degree,_

_Laying beats that we all can agree that will get all ya'll lost at sea!_

  _You want it?_

_Yeah-_

_You want it?!_

_Holy shit, ya'll gonna need a new set of needles to loosely knit all this wit into a new fabric of time to figure out this rhyme._

  _This beats yet to ignite to sit tight,_

_Don't strife, Don't fight- Cause I'm gonna blow you're fuck'in mind tonight._

  _I'm gonna make you see what it means when you fuck with me- Tears will stream, blades will bleed, and hearts will tare at the seams!_

  _Denizens will cry and scream, beg and plead, but there’s no stop'in me. On your knees, cause the Prince of Heart is here to seize the night and do just what he please.”_

 

                By the time Dirk quit with the crowd he had going, it was near lunch time and some of the guards were listening and nodding their heads. He finished up his lyrical masterpiece before dropping his mic and stepping off the table, he had shouts and roars of approval from the inmates in the room. Kar was at his side, asking him were the fuck he learned how to do what he’d just done. He walked back to his cell with Evert and Kar by his side with a crowd following behind them. They seemed to truly take to him, trying to repeat some of the best lines he had spoken throughout their experience. Dirk would only smile and nod at times, correcting or laughing at their own attempts in good nature. In the time it took to have the session, he had suddenly become a novelty. He waved them on before he slipped inside the locker rooms. They went on, nearly carrying Kar away to talk to him about where he got the idea for the beat. Dirk put his back against the door, laughing softly to himself.

                That had probably been the most fun he’d had since… since… he couldn’t remember. He wasn’t happy with his friends unless he was with Jake. He was the exact opposite of that since he’d been kidnapped. Dirk rubbed his face with his hands, letting out a breath.  He felt physically drained from being out in front of all those people. He had a headache too- but that was more from lack of medication than the issue of the massive groups of inmates screaming their acceptance of him; which he was happy with that a hell of a lot more than the alternative. Dirk hit the light switch on the side of the wall and let the darkness settle around him for a moment. There was a little light at the end of the locker room that belonged to a half broken fire alarm. He took off his sunglasses and rested there for a few minutes hearing the footsteps slowly die out on the other side of the door.

                Dirk took a deep breath before putting the glasses back on and peeking out of the door. His eyes flickered both ways before stepping out into the still lit hallway. The windows lining it were barred, but it still offered plenty of light in the corridor that was lined with them. He began walking back to his cell once again without all the monotony of having a crowd follow him. His hands went into his pockets as he walked, relishing in the quiet for a bit longer. Of course there were people, but none of them really seemed to be concerned nor talking to him directly anymore. He passed an air vent and nearly jumped out of his skin as someone blew in his ear. Dirk jerked away from it to see a pair of eyes looking back at him. If he didn’t have enough of a horror story for a life, seeing a pair of purple eyes looking into his was probably enough to give him more nightmares. “Hey friend… heard you rapping… your sound motherfucking good when you get going. That lyrical rhyme was so fuck sick it shined…”

                The blond worked his mouth before clearing his throat, “Uh… thanks… I’ve never been thanked from a vent before.” The other inmate- or at least he hoped the guards hadn’t gotten that crazy yet- blinked before laughing. “It’s cool, bro… it’s all good.” Dirk kept his facial expression passive, “Are you stuck or something?” _Why the fuck are you in a vent?_ The other shook his head, “A motherfucker can get out of anywhere he got himself into so it’s cool.” If Dirk wasn’t a smarter person, he’d guess the inmate in the vent was so high he needed permission to land. “Saw you on the fields. You work motherfuck’in hard… I’m Gabriel by the way.” A hand came from underneath the vent door and Dirk’s eyebrows nearly shot off his face. “413.” He replied softly, taking the hand after a brief moment of letting it hang there. He didn’t see Gabriel’s face still and adjusted his hat out of unease. “Nah man, you ain’t nothing like a number. You’re like royalty. What you motherfucking called yourself back there… Prince of Heart…. That’s what you are. Truly.” Dirk stiffened, he had technically called himself that…

                “I’m no Prince.” Gabriel chuckled and it echoed down the vent, “Neither am I but we’re a lot a like I think. Never know- our chance meet’in may be another one of those motherfuck’in miracles.” Dirk immediately recognized the voice and the wordage. _Gamzee._ He swallowed, looking at the purple eyes. “Maybe. What cell block are you?” He asked, wondering if he was with them and they just hadn’t crossed paths yet. He’d certainly never ventured into the vents. Gabriel hummed to himself until he was ready to answer the question, “Well Prince, it’s been nice talking to ya, but I gotta go and unleash some miracles....” Dirk blinked and the eyes were gone. He took several steps away from the vent before quietly whispering to himself, “What the ever fucking hell is going on…”


	10. Ghost of You

                After Dirk waited for almost the entire hour alone in the booth, telephone unanswered on the other side without Jake, Roxy or Jane looking back at him; he finally came to terms that they weren’t coming. He fought an inner struggle that he had told Jake to keep them away, but didn’t think any of them would listen. Nor did he realize just how lonely it was without a connection to the outside world- even if it was to keep his friends safe from… exactly what he still didn’t know. Part of him told him that they had realized that he was going insane and belonged here. The other part quietly told him that they were on their way or something had come up that was completely unavoidable. Dirk wasn’t sure if he should risk thinking about the reasons that could keep them from not coming… He ended up standing after so long, just ready to get out from underneath the guard’s mocking gaze.

                He passed Kar talking to Thaddeus and Nadine, letting his orange gaze flicker around to find the taller inmate that usually accompanied them. He didn’t see him and wondered if the other had decided against seeing Nadine after their last conversation. Dirk didn’t doubt it, Evert seemed like the person who if it were possible, would avoid confrontation when it didn’t warrant it. The blond walked past the guards who chuckled at him seeing no one had shown up. “Not so tough now.” One whispered in his ear and Dirk looked down still. He liked to imagine there was a machine in his mind, almost like a Geiger Counter, that ticked whenever he felt anger flare up inside his body. In this case, it had ticked for almost a moment before it died. A rational thought crossed his mind and he let out a slow breath through his nose. There were better reasons to go to solitary than for beating the shit out of a snot nosed guard.

                Dirk was unaware of himself as he started to wonder the prison block to look for Evert. He never had that much connection to the once hulking troll because of the way they had met in the game- which revolved around the word ‘brief’… but he supposed that they had more of a connection to him now than before. He passed the room that had the chairs facing the old television jutting from the wall on a platform. Dirk glanced at it, only to pause mid-step. The judge who had preceded over his case was getting bombarded by the media with microphones so far into her face she probably could smell the wiring inside their casings. _“Judge ReClaire, what do you have to say about your recent disbarment? Did it have something to do with the Morris case- or the LaLonde vs. the State of Texas?”_ The judge pushed a few people out of her way, eyes narrowed and lips tightly closed before speaking to one of the reporters that had managed to break the line of escorts to plant themselves right in front of her. Nina ReClaire fixed a gaze on the women so keenly it near burnt the woman in front of her. _“Ms. Tishnell, I will not reveal what I’m feeling towards my state, nor the actions of the cases it sees. I seek justice and I no longer found it from where I was. If someone should look for what truly is justice, they should ignore the Morris case altogether. There were forces from behind closed doors that had more power to will that case then the balances of justice did.”_ Before she could add anything, there were gunshots and muffled screaming before the scene zoomed out to have another reporter discussing it. Dirk swallowed, still standing with one leg slightly outstretched to keep walking. There were several inmates that were playing cards on the seats that hardly noticed him.

                He kept going before they noticed him and tried to think about what happened. His thoughts were running rampant trying to put that information all together in his mind. Someone had been acting behind closed doors? Did that mean that there were higher powers invested in his case? Why? Why would anyone be interested in a serial rapist and murderer who’d captured one too many more than he could handle? Dirk ran his fingers through his hair before turning the corner and nearly smacking into Evert. “Shit-“ He muttered, rather startled by his sudden appearance. “I’ve had nicer greetings.” Evert replied before walking past him and Dirk blinked before following. “You weren’t at the visitation hour.” Dirk pointed out, catching up with him. He didn’t know really why he was pestering the one person he knew in the prison that could easily snap him like a twig.

                “I wasn’t.” Evert agreed and kept walking back towards his cell that wasn’t too far away from Dirk’s own. His eyes flickered back to Dirk before choosing to let him follow. There wasn’t any harm in it and Dirk frowned, “There was a girl there.” Evert slowed his steps, “Why are you telling me this?” Dirk shrugged from behind him, “Thought you might want to know.” The taller didn’t acknowledge him though his head turned to the open door on their left, which they could clearly see the guards chowing down on fresh meats and bread. Evert’s eyes narrowed and Dirk’s head turned to look at them as well. They didn’t say a word for a few moments before Dirk muttered softly, “What would happen if the guards lost their keys for the food storage?” Evert’s voice was even lower, “They do a cell toss until they found them. Or get them remade.” Dirk narrowed his eyes, “And if someone stole all the food before they could get their hands on it?” The dark haired man turned his jaw slightly toward him, “Don’t. It’s foolishness.” Evert told him without answering his question at all. Dirk looked up at him, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Don’t tell me you like the slop you get fed.”

                Evert worked his mouth and Dirk stared him down, “And you and I both know the guards could be knocked down a few paces.” He gestured at them with his chin, they were all too busy to look back them. The Native American paused before sighing, “You will get caught, and they will put you in solitary. There is no way you can steal keys, keep them hidden and not get the Warden to take revenge.” Dirk glanced between him and the others for a few moments before nodding. “Alright. How about this then….” It took almost ten minutes to convince Evert to join him on an ill-fated and downright stupid idea to get the food back to the prisoners and out of the guard’s hands… if only temporarily just to prove the inmates were more than just comatose punching bags. Evert agreed more out of annoyance of having to listen to Dirk after a long period of time than actually wanting to par take in the plan.

                Dirk’s plan, despite its idiosyncrasies, could actually work- which greatly surprised Evert. The larger hadn’t stop berating himself since he agreed, but did his part none the less. Dirk’s plan started with stealing the keys from the guards. Which as it turned out, was much easier done than said. The blond was talented with slight of hand so well that Evert had voiced his surprised after Dirk had bumped very purposefully into the guard and then acted like every other lunatic in the cell block. Mostly by screaming about the guard to watch where he was going before being threatened with the tazer that made Dirk flee immediately. The other guards were just as easy- one had been sleeping and the other was using the restroom when Dirk reached into the pocket underneath the privacy wall and snatched the last key. Evert had explained that three keys belonged to the storage room- which had been normal for most cell blocks. In reality, four keys existed, but the fourth was never used and stayed on the Warden’s keyring.

                Dirk smirked down at the three keys in his hand before looking up at Evert who was tense beside him. They now stood in front of the food storage that the guards used to stash the good food in. The door to their break room had easily been picked with a paper clip that Dirk had gotten off an inmate in exchange for a lock of his blond hair. Which wasn’t surprising since some of the inmates were more mentally distressed than the state was lead to believe. Dirk gave a side long look at Evert. “Would you like to do the honors?” He asked, offering one of the three keys to him. Evert looked down at it, “Why would I do that?” Dirk shrugged, his usual calm and reserved nature somehow disrupted by this. He didn’t get a ‘hard-on’ as Roxy would have called it from adventure like Jake did… but it didn’t mean he didn’t like mischief at a rare time- not to mention, each of the assholes he had robbed had definitely deserved it.

                Dirk nodded toward it, “Go on, you deserve a bit of the spoil being a look out. Hell, you’re helping me carry all this shit back mind you.” Evert grumbled and took one of the keys. They had made sure the path to the kitchen in their cell block was clear. The guards almost always stuck to their same routes rather stupidly, so they had another fifteen minutes before Officer ‘Snoreton’ decided to come stumbling down the way. Dirk watched as his partner in crime opened the door and softly gasped at the food storage that was literally filled to the hilt. “We may need more time than fifteen minutes!” He whispered quickly and Dirk shook his head, “Not a chance. Come on, shut the thing and lock it. See that roller chair? I need you to break it.” Evert frowned at him before locking it back and breaking the roller chair off the bottom piece without almost any effort at all. With some careful balancing, they stood the cabinet- thankfully it was similar to ones that were used in metal shops that could be moved- and rolled it down to the inmate kitchen. They hurriedly schooled it with several other matching shelves to make it look at least semi-natural and then clean up their remnants of the broken chair. Mainly that meant putting it haphazardly back together and waited for some poor son of a bitch to sit in it.

                “As much as I’m surprised this actually got this far… now how are we going to hide the evidence that it was us?” Evert whispered to him as they walked down the hall together, most inmates had left the visitation area and had gone about their day in the different recreational sections of the prison. Dirk glanced at him, “Guards don’t know a thing, I can’t do a thing about the cameras, and I’ve got a plan for the keys.” The taller did a double take, “The cameras have been off for a while. They don’t want evidence to what they do to some prisoners here.” He offered and Dirk grinned, “Perfect. Give me your key back.” Evert immediately handed it over, not wanting the incriminating piece on him. “Where’s the metal shop?” The Native American grimaced, “Rec yard, all the way on the left before you go into the next cell block.”

                “Wait here then.” Dirk told him and sprinted off. The door Evert watched him out of was clear, so he could see the retreating blond perfectly through the glass. The said man disappeared and Evert felt anxiety build up in his chest for the near twenty minutes he waited. When the other came out, there was a look on his face that told him that he had done something… dastardly good. Dirk walked in and Evert raised an eyebrow, “What did you do?” He didn’t think he wanted to know the answer, but yet, he was asking anyway. “You’ll see later.” Dirk whispered and walked slightly ahead of him. Evert sighed, watching as Dirk pulled a roll of double stick tape and proceeded to put three square metal blocks with keys wielded into them on the wall for all to see in the cafeteria. How the tape was strong enough to hold up metal pieces, he would never know. Evert kept watch, near panic in his throat. Dirk tossed the tape away before admiring his handy work; a second later, he brandished a black marker and wrote in large letters a phrase. “Terrorism will never cease in a [prison] where the so-called leaders are terrorists in disguise. -Michael Bassey Johnson”

                Evert read over the quote before looking at Dirk, who tossed the marker away as well. “Not let’s blow this popsicle stand before someone finds us.” He told him softly and Evert nodded, looking at the other with a steady frown. When they made it back to their designated cells, Dirk finally asked him why he was staring at him. The other shrugged, “No one has had the guts to do that to the guards before now.” Dirk shrugged, “And?” Evert frowned before shrugging as well, “You’re either very brave, or very stupid.” For a moment Dirk didn’t change expression before he had a half smile on his face. “Let’s say both and call it even.” The brief exchange brought a flicker of a grin onto his face that was interrupted by Kar screaming their names- only their names were replaced with one joint word of ‘ASSHOLES!’.

                “Where the fuck have you been! I’ve been looking all over for your sorry asses.” Dirk looked up at Evert and gave a tiny shake of his head, who responded with crossing his arms in front of him defensively. Kar got closer, arms crossed and glanced over Dirk briefly, “You look like you ate a damn bird.” The other smiled at him, “What makes you say that?” Kar rolled his eyes, “Oh I don’t know, the fact that your face actually cracked when you smiled then. So why are the guards running around looking for shit on the ground?” Dirk snickered and Evert nearly cracked a smile before Kar glanced between them. “And you got him in on it? Holy shit.” Kar went from being annoyed to impressed and Dirk gestured with his head back the way they had come. “You’ll see what’s up at dinner tonight.”

                Kar finally nodded before starting in on Evert for not being at visitation and Dirk glanced at an inmate that walked by. He saw the holes in his ears and cocked his head to the side while Evert asked how Nadine and Thaddeus were doing. He tuned out their conversation for a moment as he left the side of the tallest of their tiny group to follow the other. “Hey!” Dirk called out and the inmate stopped, “What’s up, Prince?” He asked and Dirk momentarily paused, unaware the nickname had taken hold that well. “Where’d you get your gauges done, man? They look new.” The man had several other piercings that were still red from the initial puncture. “Cell Block C’s got a guy who used to be a tattoo artist. He does piercings too in exchange for favors.” Dirk shifted a bit awkwardly, “What sort of favors?” The man shrugged, “Up to him, I hear anywhere from sucking dick to stealing a fork. I just had to get him a book from the library. He’s a big reader- that one.” Dirk nodded, telling him his thanks before walking back to Kar and Evert. The bell rung for the dinner hour. At the same time the sound warped and the lights flickered off and on before shutting down as something exploded. He guessed it was the power box or the building had been hit by lightning since a storm had been going outside for the last hour.

                Dirk removed his sunglasses and saw clear as day in the low light setting. People were running through the halls and guards were screaming, hitting whatever came close in a blind panic. The alarms got louder and warped more. As Dirk looked down the hallway he could see something there, walking toward him that caused the lights that lined the cells to explode in a supposed power surge. It was a shadow of a tall shape that walked slowly and purposefully toward him. Wild hair and bright pink eyes, heels and a trident. He let out a low breath, seeing her perfectly walking toward them like he was in his nightmare- he managed to look away to see Kar squinting in the darkness while Evert nearly got bowled over from the inmates that were running from the guards who were shouting and chasing them. The figure moved forward still, and out of the dark outline came the Warden who looked like he was possessed with rage as he stepped out of the black smoke like substance. Like he was sent by her to do her bidding. The figure disappeared when replaced by the Warden and Dirk marked it off for hopefully a very horrifying hallucination. Dirk grabbed Kar and Evert, pulling them into the cell they were beside as the Warden rushed past, not seeing them in the darkness. In seconds the lights came back on with the generator.

                “What the fuck was that?” Kar asked, his voice soft after all the noise had died down from screaming guards. Dirk winced, putting his sunglasses back on. “Storm?” He muttered and Evert nodded, though all three were shaken. Dirk wasn’t sure how much they saw, so he stayed blissfully quiet. “How did you see with lights out? You pulled us inside the cell.” Evert asked Dirk but it was Kar who answered, “Photophobia.” Dirk frowned and turned his head toward him, “How do you know about that anyway? You never told me how.” Kar glanced at him, before shrugging. “You expect any of these stupid shits to do paperwork around here? Of course not, so they let the prisoner’s do most of it. Files and stuff- nothing that would get us released of course. I read some of them now I know who not to fuck with.” Dirk paused turning his head to look at him, “You read my file.”

                Kar turned his head, “Yeah… what, you think you have something to hide in there?” Evert cleared his throat, knowing this was on a fast track to an argument. “We should vacate before the guards come back. They all are in a fool mood.” Kar nodded before walking past Dirk. But since it was now time to come clean about some things, he called to Kar from where he was still beside the cell. “Who’s the clown that roams around in the vents?” He asked because part of him was angry that Kar had the ability to read his life without his permission… and thus a knee-jerk reaction was immediately to tell Kar that he wasn’t the only one with information that could hurt the other. If his assumption was correct, this ‘Gabriel’ person Nadine had mentioned was Gamzee. Kar turned back toward him so quick that Dirk nearly regretted asking. Kar’s face was a mix of emotion; fear, hatred and pain all into one expression. The blond expected him to start yelling when Kar swallowed, “You know what I said about knowing who to stay the fuck away from?”

                Dirk barely nodded, “Stay the fuck away from him.” And just like that, Kar had turned on his heel and walked away. Evert remained there for a moment, looking at Dirk with a similar expression but one of quiet understanding as well. If Evert had been in Dirk’s position, he would have probably done the same thing he had just done. Dirk looked after the smaller inmate and crossed his arms as he heard a noise in the vents above them that sounded so vaguely like a toy horn and the smelt faintly of burnt wires.


	11. Who We Are

The alarms were going off. Dirk jerked awake, got and an eyeful of blaring light and swore a tad bit violently. His hand shot out to blindly find his sunglasses. He slipped them on to look at the just rising sun outside, the cell door was open and he immediately looked for Kar. He wasn’t there. Dirk’s eyes widened and he felt fear- not for himself, but for Kar if he’d decided to break out of prison. Immediately he was out the door, looking around wildly to see a multitude of inmates were out of their cells too, asking each other what was going on. He spotted Evert at the end of the hall, a deep set frown on his face as his eyes looked from person to person. Dirk pushed through the crowd to get closer to him, “Kar’s gone!” He didn’t need to ask what was going on, or what he was looking for. Evert’s eyes widened a fraction of an inch before his head turned to the sound of guards rushing in the direction of the rec yard- a place where Dirk had yet to venture out into.

                Evert immediately went in that direction, Dirk following suit. Some of the group had seen the guards too and all of them were behind them to squeeze out of the door into the dying grass and concrete slab. Much to Dirk’s relief, there was a crowd from another cell block already there and Kar was in front of them with his arms crossed. The blond nearly jogged to him, questions on his lips. He wasn’t sure why he was scared for him- or hell, why he actually gave a damn what happened to him. It was a quick mini sprint that Evert didn’t take part in. Soon as he got closer, Dirk saw the nails biting into Kar’s skin and the look of hatred so pure in his eyes that they didn’t even leave their target. Finally Dirk turned his head toward what Kar was staring so intently at.

                On top of the fence, currently surrounded by laughing guards, was another inmate trapped in the barbwire. He swallowed, seeing how the silver and rusty fence beneath him had turned red. The inmate couldn’t be much older than himself and was sobbing, trying to crawl through the fence to either come back or get through it. It was four layers of the barb wire and one could see the mat he’d stolen to try to make it across. “Pl-Please, I’ll never do it again- cut me down- please-e. I’ll do anything- god please- please-” Dirk could hear the begging from where he stood and felt the physical tensing from Kar beside him. The guard closest to the gate laughed, “Why would we cut you down? Barbwire is expensive.” A guard tower not too far to their left had rifles trained on them all but another inmate- that Dirk gathered had known him- took a step to help him down. The guards in the tower spoke through a microphone, “Inmate, get back or we will shoot you!” Immediately the one who’d moved forward stepped back and one of the guards poked up at an open wound on the inmate’s leg, making him jolt and get caught more.

                “This is fucking bullshit-!” Kar seethed as the Warden made his way out and started to talk with the inmates, laughing his ass off at the circumstance. Dirk swallowed, wondering in the back of his mind if this was what it was like when the world ended in his time in the death camps that Fish Hitler had setup. He felt sick at that thought and looked down at the ground as Evert finally stepped up to his side. Kar on his right, and the other on his left didn’t make him feel any better about what he was watching. Another prod at the inmate that sent him screaming made Kar jerk forward. “Sons of a bitches- nothing but fucking torturers. Fucking legal system doesn’t employ anyone but sadist and fucking murderers.” He murmured underneath his breath and Dirk looked up then. “Kar!” He hissed, about ready to grab him back when Evert held him fast. “If he’s willing to be foolish, let him.” Evert growled, though his eyes were intense on Kar’s figure. Again the tower sounded, “Prisoner 609 step back into line or we will open fire!” Kar turned his head toward them, “BITE ME!” Kar kept walking and Dirk hissed to Evert, “If he touches that fence, he’s going to get a bullet in the brain!” Evert blinked and looked down at him, his piercing blue eyes meeting his orange as the grip on his shoulder tightened, “And what can you do to stop a bullet meant for you if you stop him?”

                Dirk couldn’t say anything to that and Kar started to climb the fence, he was still spluttering profanity as the guards and the warden- along with all the rest of the cell blocks that were able to roam in the rec yard were watching him. Kar was fast, climbing the fence with barely any struggle. He got to the barbwire and actually smiled, “Hey- don’t struggle. I’m gonna try to get you out.” Kar slowly started to unravel the barbwire with one hand, new blood drops dripping down. Dirk didn’t know if it was just the light but the blood the hit the ground- his vision was never perfect by any means- was not nearly as dark as blood should be. Kar kept unraveling the inmate who was crying softly now, his voice was surprisingly gentle that even Dirk felt relief from where he was. The guards all had the same look on their face as Kar nearly got the inmate free completely. Dirk glanced toward the Warden who had narrowed eyes at Kar, he swallowed seeing him pull out a gun and point.

                He jerked and Evert stiffened, “Kar-!” Dirk yelled and the gun went off, hitting the inmate in between the eyes. Kar was stark still, holding himself up on the fence and staring into the inmate’s eyes that were blank now. Dirk swallowed, the rest of the inmates were quiet as Kar blinked at the inmate he’d nearly saved. He slowly descended from the fence and Dirk let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. Evert’s eyes were wide, a realization on his face. There was a difference in their looks; while Dirk had eyes only for Kar, Evert was focused on the Warden. Kar looked up at the inmates as the guards began to taunt and laugh, patting the Warden on the back for an excellent shot. Dirk reached out to Kar, seeing the blood splashed across his face. He couldn’t help but think the red mark looked so much like the ‘Knight of Blood’ symbol that it was frightening. Kar stood in line with the rest of them and some of the inmates briefly patted him on the back as the guards started to usher them back inside. Dirk took him by the hand, Evert following behind them both, and lead Kar back through the building. He stole some napkins from the cafeteria they passed.

                The blond sat him down on his bunk and wet the napkin in the sink they had in the room. Why they needed a sink he had never bothered to ask. He started to clean off the other’s face of the blood because at this point, Kar seemed damn well catatonic. Dirk continued to move the balled up rag across the other’s skin, “You okay?” He asked softly while Evert stood by the door, arms crossed and watching out the door to make sure no one came in. Kar didn’t answer him at first, just simply kept staring straight ahead. He blinked after a moment, looking up at him. “Yeah.” He breathed and Dirk nodded, going back to cleaning himself off and Kar shut his eyes. He finished with his face and tended to his hand. He was sure that if Kar didn’t want him to do it, he would stop him. His blood was truly a very light shade and wondered if that was just because of his previous life or… something different. Kar caught him staring and mumbled an explanation, “I’m anemic with an insanely high iron count. It makes my blood lighter when I don’t take my meds.” He snorted, “You know why I’m not doing that.” Dirk frowned steadily at the other before nodding, “That’s not a good thing to live with.” He shrugged, “Had it since I was a kid, kinda got used to it.” Dirk blinked and honestly wished that the blood mutation hadn’t transferred over to the human version of Karkat. “Sorry.”

                Kar blinked, looking up at him. “For what?” He looked honestly confused, lips a thin line when Dirk moved the wad of rag over his hand. There was a lot the blond could have said just then. He could have apologized for not making sure the game wouldn’t even glitch, for him having to live in this imperfect human world, for him having to survive with an illness that effected his daily life, for him being in this fucked up prison without anyone to be there for him. It was in that moment that Dirk realized how similar they were and shrugged when Kar asked him again, “That you have to deal with what has happened.” It was vague, but covered the entire expansion of shit that had happened to the both of them. “Yeah, well, can’t fucking kill your best friend and think you can get away with it.” He muttered darkly and Dirk stopped completely, “You what?”

                Kar pulled his hand away and took the rag from him. “Don’t worry about it.” Dirk’s eyebrows shot up, “Don’t give me that shit, I bunk with you!” Kar turned his eyes on him, blazing twin red ochre eyes. “You didn’t tell me what you did, so why the fuck should I tell you.” Dirk opened his mouth and then shut it, looking away from him and setting his jaw. Kar snorted, “That’s what I thought. Too much of a chicken shit to tell me.” Kar got up and walked out the cell, Evert looking after him. There was silence between them before Evert left as well, going to opposite direction as Kar did. He looked at the bit of red on his hands and let out a sigh, standing to wash them off. Things just weren’t going his way lately.

xXx

                “I know what you did.” He didn’t know why those words chilled him so much. Dirk was frozen mid-reach of a book in the library. Kar was standing behind him and there was no one else but the sleeping guard in the corner. They didn’t seem to do much else besides sleep, eat their food and belittle them now days. Dirk frowned and got the book down, turning to him. “No you don’t.” He told him and walked a little ways when Kar followed, arms crossed. “I do.” Dirk sat down at one of the tables, flipping through the pages. He had no fucking clue what this book was about but at least it would distract him for a moment. The other inmate sat down in front of him and Dirk only glanced up briefly. “The Warden doesn’t do shit with the files- nor do the guards. They make inmates do the paper work, cleaning, selling, and drug handouts. Member when I told you I was the file clerk.” Dirk muttered a tad bit more darkly than he intended, “You might want to get to the point.”

                Kar shrugged, crossing his arms in front of him. “I saw why you’re here. You don’t fuck’in need to be so why the ever loving fuck are you putting yourself through this.” Dirk sighed and shut the book he was trying to attempt to read. “Why are you so interested?” A pause came between them, “Because I want to know.” The blonde’s teeth set, headache brewing, “Well that’s not a good enough reason for me. If you want to pry into my god damn business being a file clerk I can’t stop you, but don’t come around asking me stupid ass questions about things that don’t concern you.” His voice had gone into almost a growl. Kar didn’t back down, staring straight into the other’s orange eyes. “Fine, look at this way, _Prince_ , tell me now or I will run around flapping my jaws to every fucker in this place.” Dirk snarled, “Do it and Evert will be scraping pieces of you off the rec yard.”

                There was a bitter laugh, “Think I give a shit about that?” Dirk tightened his fist and glanced at the yard. “You wanna know why I’m here? What the file doesn’t say?” Kar nodded, arms crossed still. Dirk leaned in, “Fine.” The word always had so much venom in it when he said it. “I was kidnapped. I was held for six months in an underground cell with a pregnant girl. We were both raped and beaten until we couldn’t even move from lack of rest and food from a sick fucker who tried to make me into a woman by chopping my dick off with a saw blade. He tried to kill me and that girl saved my life- by dying for me. I stay here because I couldn’t save her and I’m not worth enough to breathe the same fucking air as people who wouldn’t have let her die. I let the one thing I cared about in that cell die. And when I had the chance? I shot the bastard through the eye.” Kar’s face had gone from impassive to mildly horrified, eyes widened and mouth slightly parted. “Let’s not forget all the other shit I had to go through in my life that I just don’t _feel_ like going into with you. So there, Kar, does that make you happy now? To know the dirty little secret about me?” He stared him down, “Does that make you feel better? Go tell the entire prison. Be my guest.” He stood, throwing the book hard enough to wake up the guard. Kar stayed there, blinking at Dirk’s retreating figure.

 xXx

                “I’m sorry.” Kar said above him and Dirk blinked his eyes open. The sun wasn’t out yet, and it was a new moon, thus the prison was fairly dark. The man looked up at the scratches of names in the metal bed. He didn’t know what to say to that. He certainly didn’t forgive him, but he also knew it took a lot for like someone like Kar to give an apology for anything. When he didn’t answer, Kar continued, “I was being a dick. I read everyone’s files. Most of the people in here aren’t supposed to be here.” He mumbled, like he was staring at the ceiling as well. “I just… I guess I was hoping you would give me some shitty answer. But you gave me all that and now I know I was being a total asshole by rubbing salt in the wound.” Dirk blinked slowly, listening to him without interrupting.

                “I wanted to know yours… so you get to know mine. It’s only fair.” He sighed, “I used to live in an orphanage. I met my best friends there, Thaddeus, Solomon and… Gabriel.” Kar paused on the last name longer. “We grew up, got jobs, got a house, ya know the stupid American dream. We were doing great I guess.  Solomon and Gabriel did some shit now and then… Solomon didn’t go too deep. Just smoked now and then- but Gabriel? He always did hard shit like LSD and weed and… let’s just say shit that he really shouldn’t have had. Gabe always had a temper too- I could manage to calm him down when we were younger but as we got older… he’d just go on these fucking rampages and shit would get destroyed.” Kar rubbed his eyes before shaking his head, “So one day we’re just fucking around at the house and we hear this knock. Solomon answered the door and there is this big dude carrying this girl whose beat to shit. We had a lot of race problems from where I’m from and there was this Indian reservation. Apparently a lot of shit went down and there was a fire- started by some asshole teenagers and it killed off this entire tribe. I only got to hear about it later on the news, but Evert and Nadine moved in because they had no place to go. Thad and Sol didn’t really give a shit, Gabe told me it was my decision and I just… I couldn’t throw them out like that ya know. We were all fucking orphans and I guess I’m just a sucker for a sob story.”

                Dirk frowned, picking some pieces of the story out from what he had overheard that one day when Nadine visited Evert. “I found out later that the only reason why they had even survived the  fire was because Nadine had done something- I never found out what- and Evert had stuck up for her and they ended up getting kicked out of their tribe of whatever. Didn’t matter to me. But anyway, they lived with us and one night Gabriel lost his shit. He was high and seeing ‘motherfuck’in miracles’ like he does and…” Kar went silent, “He tried to kill Nadine- with a fucking baseball bat. I stepped in and tried to stop him before I got my head kicked in. Sol tried to stop him… and…” He sighed again, “He got thrown out the third story window- he was on the edge and if I had been a little fucking faster I might have been able to grab him or- or something. He fell into the street below and cracked his head open on the sidewalk. Thad couldn’t do a damn thing but try to call the cops being in a wheelchair and all…” He muttered. “Gabriel kept trying to kill me- nearly choked me out before about to bludgeon Nadine to death when Evert grew a pair and punched him into the damn coffee table. The cops showed up… arrest me and Gabriel for Sol’s murder and Evert for aiding us. Nadine kept trying to convince them but they shoved us in police cars and now I’m here. Stuck with Evert in the same block and my crazy ex-best friend crawling through the damn vents.” He sighed, “So there. Eye for an eye. You know my sob story and I know yours…. You’re probably not even awake.”

                Dirk opened his mouth, shut it, then spoke. “I’m awake.” Kar sighed above him like he’d been hoping the latter, “Fucking fantastic.” The blond chose his words a bit carefully, “You know Solomon’s death wasn’t your fault right.” There was a pause before Kar snorted, “Well could say the same thing about you from what you told me about that girl. Neither of us are going to listen to the other now are we…” Dirk flickered a smile, “No.” Kar nodded to himself, “Good. Now go the fuck to sleep.”


	12. Bones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for how long these next few chapters took, I was waiting for some feedback before I posted. The next chapter after this is very graphic and triggering. I will post another warning, but this is leading into more issues that surround what happened with Spectrum, the story before this one. Thank you all for your kind messages and I do always read the comments. If there is something you'd like to see or more information I should add, let me know in the comment section below. <3

He woke up to birds tweeting outside and he blinked his eyes open slowly to a conversation. Someone was standing at the edge of their cell talking with Kar who had a sobered expression on his face. He held a book in his hand and Dirk sat up to put his glasses on. His bones ached and so did his skin… Old wounds were only now starting to completely close up. “The Warden wants to throw all of his stuff out… since you looked like you might be close to him and all.” Kar snorted, looking at the book that Dirk could see had white edging and red script on the front.   A bible of all things to be given to one of the most ‘potty mouthed’ inmates that he knew, that seemed rather ironic to him. “Didn’t know him at all, actually.” The other inmate nodded, “Yeah, kid kept to himself. Said something about him being framed a lot- who knows.” Kar glanced up at him before shrugging. The inmate smiled briefly, “Yeah well I got to give the rest of this stuff away.” He turned on his heel and left when Kar finally turned around; spotting Dirk staring at him. “What?” Kar demanded and Dirk shrugged, “Nothing, I just didn’t know inmates cared that much about each other.” There was a bitter laugh before Kar flipped through the pages. “If you start thinking that you’re more stupid than I thought.” Kar tossed it at him and Dirk caught it easily, “Who needs a stupid bible anyway.” The blond said nothing in response as Kar shoved his hands in his pockets and walked out.

                It was obvious that the other was still beating himself over not saving the other inmate. Dirk decided to let it slip by and looked at the bible in his hand. It vaguely reminded him of the one at Jenna’s funeral and felt the familiar ache in his chest. He had tried to put himself away from that experience as much as the one he had with Nathanial… It was better to focus on his own grief than remembering the source of it- even if it was around two months now that he’d been in prison. His scarred fingertips went over the fake leather cover and traced the binding. Dirk had never read one before; by the time he had gotten hold of one- it had actually found one that was preserved in a zip-lock bag of all things- underwater in his exploration of the underwater caverns. It had been so marked up and changed he didn’t know what to believe of it. Not only that- someone walking on water did seem a little far-fetched even for his thirteen year old mind.

                He cracked it open and wondered what he should do with it. It was one of his days off and it wasn’t like Kar was in the mood to be anywhere near him. Not only that Evert seemed to be avoiding the both of them since the murder of the inmate… Dirk flipped through a few pages before sighing. He had literally nothing better to do than read a bible; now that was sad. He leaned back and started on the first page. He wasn’t religious by any means, but it couldn’t hurt to find out what all the hype was about… right?

xXx

                It was past lunch time when he finished it. He had always been a stupidly fast reader. Jake and he used to read books together in bed- but they had to have separate books because of how fast Dirk would turn pages. Jake had always commented that he thought Dirk was a genius for how well he could soak in information and process it to create something new. Of course, Dirk had never thought he was a genius- let alone anything worthwhile past maybe mildly intelligent. He just thought he knew how to absorb information well.  Dirk shut the book and looked at the cover. Though he wasn’t nearly convinced that he was willing to convert to something that revolved around a son sent to die on a cross to take the world of it’s sin; there was something that had struck him in a way. The line in the book where it said that God would never flood the Earth again… but burn it to the ground. He couldn’t help but draw a parallel to his own life. His life hadn’t even started when the world flooded… and his world had indeed ended in his mind when Nathanial’s family saw mill had been aflame.

                But it didn’t really talk about what happened afterward when the world burnt down. Yes, the coming of Christ was apparently a big deal but… what happened in the meantime? His head turned to the side slightly to look at the scratch marks in the walls of names and dates. What happened  between the time that the world burnt to a crisp and God was supposed to save them all? Dirk didn’t find the answer in the book and he put it on the bed. He doubted Kar would want it back, and he knew for a fact that Evert believed in entirely different gods than the one the bible portrayed. But he didn’t want to get rid of it either- always being a little against the burning of knowledge; no matter what it was about. Perhaps that had just been because of his past too when the Fish Hitler decided to cut off the world from it’s media ties near the end. Dirk let out a slow breath from his lungs, sitting up in his bunk.

                He ran a hand over his face and swept his hair back to feel his ear. Dirk frowned at the healed hole in his ear and remembered vaguely of the inmate that had told him of the person who pierced ears. Though he wasn’t too keen on favors- sexual or otherwise- being placed on him, he wanted a piercing none the less.  It felt strange without a familiar weight in his ears. He had gauges before, but the holes had been healed up. Dirk never believed in the outlandishly large gauges too. He saw the attraction of some- but other’s like getting them in one’s cheeks or other non-ear parts of the body honestly creeped him out slightly. He remembered the first time he got his gauges he had researched it that people put gauges through their stomachs and privates. He could understand the attraction to genital piercings but damn- don’t put a hole through your dick… Self-mutilation wasn’t anyone’s business but the owner of the body- but there was a fine line between artwork and scaring the shit out of people. He walked down the hall into the block the inmate had mentioned, across the rec yard where multiple people were working out or playing basketball.

                The other blocks looked extremely similar to his own- except for the door locks and shape of the bars. He was aware that the deeper her went into the blocks the more security got tougher. He frowned at one of the guards who was armed to the teeth and how their eyes immediately found him. Apparently he got the shit guards because they weren’t much of a threat in their block. Dirk wondered around for a bit, passing a cell with the two rappers he had shamed beforehand. They looked up at him, snarls on their features. Dirk didn’t stare for long and kept walking until he hit the correct cell block and heard a familiar sound of a tattoo gun whirling. His hearing was divine- and when he passed a room very similar to the television room in his own block, he stopped short at the news report he was just hearing the end of. _“Supreme Court Judge, Nina ReClaire, was found dead in her home today by a housemaid. Police suspect there was no foul play involved, saying it was a suicide by asphyxiation. There was a note; claiming she was apologetic to those she had wronged in her last several cases though she did not offer specifics.”_ Dirk stared at the television as they showed the body being wheeled out of the house, noose end a little longer than the sheet that covered her. He blinked, remembering how he had thought she seemed so familiar in the courtroom.

                “Redglare.” He whispered sadly, staring at the television as the news report ended and he shook his head. She had warned them somehow- saying things went deeper than they should have gone. That the case had been rigged from the start. Dirk continued to frown, gaze sliding to the floor. Something… was definitely wrong. His brother, even as a hallucination, had warned him that the Game glitched out. But apparently it was blending well with reality if Redglare had died via hanging… but then again, it wasn’t by a tribunal nor was the noose meant for Mindfang who he’d met only briefly in the Game. God, that had been such a long Game to live through. Years upon years of fighting and surviving. Dirk tore himself away from the room to find the sound again. Whatever was happening didn’t concern him. Or at least… he tried to remind himself of that.

                He was lead into another room that his cell block didn’t have. There were chess tables and books laying around. No televisions and a glass wall to see out into the rec wall. He guessed it was a ‘quiet’ room of some sorts. Dirk looked around and went still at the sight of the owner of the tattoo gun. Gabriel didn’t look up at him as he walked in, the brawny fellow he was working on didn’t even flinch at the markings the gun made. There was a soft voice and Dirk jerked realizing it was from Gabriel. “One second, bro. I’ll be right with you.” The blond fought a fight or flight response, now knowing what the man in front of him had done thanks to Kar. He winced at what Kar would do if he saw him here with Gabriel- then had an even worse thought of what Gabriel might ask him for in exchange for piercings- Christ, did he even trust someone who tried to strangle and kill his friends with a needle gun near his face?!

                But alas, he stayed put and the large prisoner finally stood up. “Thanks, bro. You have motherfuck’in good day.” The other inmate gave him a thumbs up and walked past Dirk who was still standing frozen in place. Gabriel finally looked up at him and Dirk shivered. _How the hell did he get clown make-up in here?_ “Ohhh, man, I didn’t think I would be seeing you again anytime soon!” Gabriel smiled and patted the seat that was just occupied a few moments ago. Dirk shrugged, swallowing down the fear. “Heard you did piercings and tattoos.” The tall inmate nodded, “Oh yeah, best bro, I motherfuck’in do.” He smiled a dazed smile and Dirk finally shuddered into motion, sitting in the chair. Gabriel got his piercing gun ready behind him and Dirk let out a breath, “And that you take favors in exchange?” Gabriel shook his head, “First one’s free, bro. On me.” Dirk frowned looking at him, “Why’s that?”

                He shrugged, “Because you’ll be back for more. They always come back.” Dirk felt a strange double meaning to what he said and Dirk looked into deep purple like eyes. “So whatcha gettin’ today?” Dirk blinked in confusion, then remembered why he was there at all. “Oh- Erm- Gauges, both ears, 9/16’’.” Gabriel nodded and eased him back with one hand. “Take a deep breath, bro. I got ya covered.” Dirk didn’t feel too safe but none the less, laid down on the chair a little. He shut his eyes briefly and Gabriel ran his fingers over his skin briefly on his earlobes. Dirk neglected to open his eyes on purpose when he felt a quick jab on both ears. He blinked his eyes open in confusion to look up at him smiling down. It was a strange feeling to see him there and he nodded, “All done.”  Dirk frowned and sat up, looking in the little pocket mirror Gabriel offered him. His ears were done and he had the question on his lips who how it was fucking possible to do something like that so fast. Gabriel was already packing up his supplies though and he took the mirror back. “Thanks-“ Dirk said and Gabriel nodded, waving him off, “No worries, best bro, it’s my pleasure. I do tattoos- if ya ever wanna touch up the one on your arm.” Dirk went still again. _How did he know?_

                Gabriel was gone before he could ask and he swallowed, deciding the best place for him to be was in that chair. The experience hadn’t lasted more than five minutes and he found himself so unsettled he was almost tempted to _run_ back to his own cell. There was no way Gabriel could have known that he had a tattoo on his shoulder unless he had seen him shirtless- which was just as creepy as an idea that he had been shirtless whenever he had been dressing or undressing. That meant the other had been spying on him via the vents. Dirk mentally shivered and got up out of the seat soon as the thought finished forming. He tried to calmly go back to his cell, brushing his fingertips over the black round gauges that now sat snuggly in his ears. His teeth worried the inside of his cheek, steady frown on his face. Where did Gabriel go when he wasn’t doing tattoos and vent climbing? Why did the guards not seem concerned about a clown loving inmate crawling around in the air system?

                He rounded the corner and nearly ran into- he stopped short, looking up at the woman. “Excuse me.” The woman said and stepped past him, his eyes followed her. The prosthetic arm, the eyepatch, the long flowing black hair, the tight uniform and white lab coat that fluttered behind her as she walked… he would recognize her anywhere and breathed in the scent of death and ocean air. She turned slightly to look back at him and he stared back at her. “Do I know you, inmate?” Dirk blinked before shaking his head, “No. You just looked familiar to me.” The woman simply nodded and continued about her way. He let out a slow breath. Redglare was dead… and that meant that Mindfang was clearly in her wake. Dirk hurried back to his cell, processing the information in his mind. Mindfang was there. Dualscar was there. Gamzee, Karkat, Equius, Nepeta, Sollux, Eridan, Tavros, Vriska… He was seeing visions of the Fish Bitch herself…

                “This doesn’t concern me.” He whispered to himself, “I’m not capable of fighting any damn battles… let alone one against them of all people…” Dirk swallowed, wiping the sweat from his brow that he didn’t know was forming. The trolls were here… and they were capable of horrible things if they wanted. Sollux and Redglare were already dead… how many more of the trolls he once knew were going to die? Dirk got up again, not knowing why he was deciding now to call Jake but he had to make some sort of a point- even if they thought he was insane. Maybe Roxy or Jane would answer the phone and he’d have better luck with them. The blond had never used his phone call privileges either so he stepped into the little booth and checked the earpiece of the phone. He grimaced, wiping it with his sleeve before dialing the number to Roxy’s phone first. He fiddled with a screw attaching a steel piece of border to the old payphone, seeing it was loose. It came off and it put it back on while it rung. It went to voicemail and he swore softly, hanging up and trying again with Jane’s number. Only this time it had a busy tone. He worried his lip as he called Jake’s number next only to get a metallic feminine voice telling him the number was no longer in service. He threw the phone back onto the receiver, fuming more than he probably should have been.

                He heard the steady steps of boots and felt a presence behind him. He turned slightly to see the Warden walking past him. “How’s it feel to fail, 413?” Dirk set his jaw, looking back into the mutilated face, “So was your father’s condom, but we got passed that now didn’t we?” He was glad he set his jaw, because the nightstick hitting him across the face surely would have broken his jaw if it hadn’t been. The part of the phone he was holding onto came off in his hand from the force of the hit. Dirk blinked, shaking his head to get rid of the blurred vision. His glasses were askew and most of the people around them had stopped moving to watch them. “I’ve gotten real tired of your smart ass remarks, you little shit.” The Warden hissed down at him. Dirk caught glimpse of the woman from earlier coming to the door rim of the room to look at what was happening.  The Warden raised the nightstick again, “You’re lucky that my employer sent a little watchdog around here to keep me from killing inmates and pieces of filth like you or I’d mop you blood off my floor every day.” He hit him in the hip and Dirk snarled back- getting a flash of Nathanial above him instead of the Warden. The Warden raised the nightstick again and laughed darkly at him, “I’ll make sure you never see those brat friends of yours again. Your sister looked so upset when I told her you had hung yourself from the top floor railing-!”

                Whatever had possessed Dirk in the matter of time it took to speak that sentence, it was something that put the fear of all things holy into the Warden’s heart. Dirk had taken the piece of metal he’d accidently ripped off the phone and swung out at the Warden’s knees. It knocked him clear on the ground with a howl of pain, only to receive slashes to the face, arms and chest as Dirk kept hitting him. He took his foot and kicked him hard enough in the chest that the Warden went backwards into one of the windows- cracking it, despite Dirk’s seemingly light weight and malnutrition. The Warden blinked his eyes open to see something entirely different than a prison setting around him then.  His eyes widened at this new world around him. He was staring up at a man with a sword in his hand- eyes reflecting the fire that was eating at his sea worthy ship and another- that lay tattered and broken beside it. He had no idea who he was, or the man in front of him that he seemed to know would be the death of him. The man stepped into the light and looked like a much more frightening version of prisoner 413.

                Reality twisted again and the man in front of him no longer looked completely man, but half of a monster with a pink eye and gray skin. They flickered out between each other, both holding weapons in their hand that pointed at him with a look of distain and hatred. The Warden’s mouth opened in horror, there was majesty in this vision, and horror as the flames rose around him and he felt hot searing pain to the side of his head where he somehow knew- deep in his mind- that he had been bludgeoned with something. The Warden felt like he knew this- but he did not. He knew the face with pink eyes, and he knew the face that had the orange set that burnt his very soul. He raised a weapon- seeing it level with the chest of the aggressor that kept coming at him.

                “Enough Oliver!” Came a shout and he snapped back into reality with Margaret pushing the hand with his gun in it down. She called for guards that were restraining the struggling prisoner that had been on the ground. The Warden screamed at him, thinking he was losing his mind with the vision he had. “What are you?!” He yelled at him and Dirk snarled back at him, “Your worst nightmare!” The Warden stared as Margaret dragged him back into her office and Dirk was dragged the opposite way by four guards. Kar and Evert stood off to the side with wide eyes, knowing they couldn’t intervene.  Dirk continued to struggle as they dragged him down a hall he had never dragged him down before. They opened a door to a dark room that reminded him so much like Nathanial’s cell that he got away from the guards for a moment to be thrown unceremoniously back into it. He let out a scream as darkness surrounded him and he immediately went back to the door- feeling the same darkness seep into his pores and familiar smells of decay reach his nostrils. “No-NO- Don’t do this- I’ll work more- Shit- FUCK- DON’T LEAVE ME HERE!” He screamed to deaf ears as they walked away after locking the door. They pounded on it back, “Welcome to Solitary! That’s what you get for attacking the warden you stupid fuck!” Dirk clawed at the door, breathing rapidly. “No- NO-“ He hyperventilated, feeling like his oxygen was cut off. “Don’t- Don’t- Please god- No-“ He whispered, trying to claw his way through the door. Anything to get out of the darkness, anything...


	13. Turn Off The Lights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special Thanks to RezzKat - Things do get better. I know how it goes. <3

                His fingernails were bloody. How he knew that in the darkness, he had no idea. His brain immediately answered that that was why his hands were damp, his fingers throbbed, and he could smell the very faint scent of rust. His vision was shit, and so was his sense of taste; meaning his hearing, smell and touch were extremely sensitive. Dirk couldn’t think of any of this however, being locked in his current state. He was huddled in the fetal position, staring at the blackness with a shiver. His mind had shut itself down at this point, thinking he was back in the cell of Nathanial’s saw mill. Though there was a seam of light from the edge of the food tray door that hadn’t shut all the way, it didn’t offer him any comfort. The shadows on the wall reminded him of the horrors he had gone through there- and thus made his raw voice useless. He hadn’t even tried to move toward the other sides of the wall- if being far too dark to even see how big the cell was when the small expansion of light ended.

                Hell, he hadn’t even tried to stand yet. He had immediately sunk as soon as they threw him in. The darkness suffocated him until he wasn’t able to move at all. There was no Hal to keep him company, just the reek of urine and lost hope. Dirk shivered on the cold stone floor, listening to silence with a rapid heartbeat. If someone ever asked him what it meant to go insane, he would answer them one simple word. ‘Silence’, that was what it meant to go insane. Silence. It crept up inside people, laid there like a spider and ate away slowly at your soul like how dusty spaces filled with cobwebs. And there was nothing he could do about it. His eyes stared without blinking, breath coming from his slightly parted mouth that had never completed it’s scream for them to open the door. Whoever had been there had left him- turned a dial on the door so it would open automatically after the length of period they had set and had made sure he wouldn’t be found for a while.

                His mind could help but run over the information he had learned since coming to the prison. It was like a self-rebooting system. Fish Hitler herself was after him somehow, and the Game had glitched out making the trolls to somehow become human and live out separate lives. But somehow it involved him and his friends, and Nathanial Morris. Not only that, the judge presiding over the case had been murdered and the same day, more of the troll’s ancestors had made an appearance. How did all of these pieces connect into one flowing string of thought? Dirk was in a room inside his mind- shutting out the reality that he was in now. The room was also black but instead he had red silk ribbons connecting to things all around the room. There were pictures of snippets from all around his life. Sketch’s that his own mind made of the trolls and their humanlike counterparts. He ducked and moved around, chasing each ribbon inside his little room for a few moments before the entire red ribbon snapped and fell down for him to see pink eyes above him.

                Dirk jerked out of what he could only imagine to be another nightmare and let out a choked sob. He had done so much of that recently that he didn’t see the point of it. Why did he have to do this? Why couldn’t he have lived a quiet life with his sister, boyfriend and best friend? Why couldn’t he have just finished the last season of My Little Pony and curled up with the pets in one of their huge cuddle piles. Why- why… why…? Dirk sniffled, rubbing the back of his bloody hands into his eye unwisely. He didn’t notice the glowing light in front of him, he didn’t notice Jake.

                “Gadzooks, this place looks rather drab doesn’t it chap!” Dirk stared straight ahead as Jake came toward him and gently laid his hand on his shoulder. “Come on, Dirk, it’s alright, not the end of the world by any means!” The orange eyes connected with green and for a moment he thought maybe he died in a panic attack. Jake was glowing like Kanaya had at one time, casting a light in the room once he had taken off his sunglasses. His mind told him that the very little light was just cracks in the food tray door, but for right now, he was quite happy to live in this hallucination. “Jake-ke?” He whispered hoarsely and Jake smiled. “Of course! Who else would come and see my best bro in his time of need!” Dirk blinked slowly, the Jake in front of him was much younger than the Jake he knew. This Jake was a teenager- perhaps early days of the Game age. Dirk swallowed, “I can’t-…” He whispered and Jake frowned, “Can’t what, Dirk?”

                “No…” He moaned, burying his nose in his boney arm that laid on the ground, “No- I can handle Hal- I can handle Bro- But not you… not you…” Dirk would blame it later on his mental state as to why he started sobbing again. Jake looked worried and gripped his arms, pulling him carefully into a hug. “By Jove, what have they done to you?” Dirk gagged, breathing raggedly and Jake stroked his hair. “It’s alright, you’re alright, I’m right here.” He whispered to him and Dirk gripped the other tightly. He didn’t care if it was a hallucination now suddenly, “Don’t leave me- God, please don’t leave me-“ Jake promised him with soft  fingers through his hair, “I don’t leave- I promise. I promise I won’t leave you. Not even for a moment.” Dirk could see every shadow on the wall- the Warden, Nathanial, Jack Noir, he was having a horrible flash back and episode. Shaking like a leaf as his own mind tried to comfort him with an image of Jake by his side. “Just take a deep breath… and sleep…” Despite his lack of control- his brain had it. And when the hallucination Jake whispered into his ear he found himself losing consciousness and falling into a fitful nightmare filled sleep again.

xXx

                When he woke again, he was far calmer and hyperaware of the cold concrete floor underneath his cheek. Dirk stared straight ahead once more, seeing a shimmer of a glow beside him that he knew was his hallucinations of Jake. The blond raised his head to look at him to find not the young, boyish Jake beside him, but the older masculine one he had been so familiar with. “Hello love…” His voice was soft and deep, his well-tanned arm rested on his knee while the other leg stretched out easily. His shirt’s sleeves were rolled up and made of flannel- it was the green one that Dirk liked so much on him. At the time, Jake had complained he looked like a lumberjack, only to have an answer of lips on his and Dirk muttering that he might be thinking lumberjacks were sexy because of him. It had led to sweet lovemaking afterward and with that thought, Dirk turned his eyes away in shame.

                “You’re bleeding…” Jake whispered and turned Dirk’s head gently back to him. Dirk frowned a moment thinking it was his fingers, before his eyes looked at Jake’s hand from where it wiped away some blood from his upper lip. Apparently one of the guards had hit him in the face in the struggle and he simply hadn’t realized it. “I’ve had worse.” Dirk answered with a brief pained whisper- not wanting to be touched by him in this place. He felt it was too similar to Nathanial’s prison and Dirk turned his head away again. He felt shame for more than one reason- one, that he had attacked the warden when he should have kept his cool. Jake and the girls would have given up on him eventually… he should have thanked him for saving him the grief of having to deal with it later. He deserved it. Two, that Jake- even a hallucination- was touching him like nothing had changed at all. That he was still his and vice versa. Three, because Jake was being so sweet to him… when he deserved to be screamed at for being weak and pathetic. He would have fought harder before- he would have been… strong enough to save Je- her.

                Jake spoke again, “Dirk, don’t do this to yourself… please…” The blond was already letting tears fall and he swallowed, “Do what… tell the truth?” The hallucination sighed and shook his head, “No… It’s not the truth at all. That’s the problem, Oh Dirk, I wish you could see how I see you.” Dirk looked at him, tears brimming his eyes and a fury took hold of him suddenly. “How you see me?!” He laughed, tears coming and he stood up despite the pain in his side from where the Warden hit him. “The way YOU see ME?” Dirk screamed and Jake flinched back, looking at him with wide eyes. He was always so calm and collected and his hallucination even looked startled. Dirk clutched at his hair and let out another scream- letting out the swell of anger, agony and emotions he was never able to let out. No one could hear him and now he was able to let it go- strange enough, his worst nightmare of this situation became his salvation.

                “Fuck you, Jake! FUCK YOU!” He snarled at him. “I know exactly how you see me! I’m just a ROBOT!” He yelled, tears drying under the strain, “You thought I was fucking faking my depression and fucking PTSD from the game! You thought I wasn’t worth bothering with! You still think that because the moment I tried to warn you about the Game possibly glitching out you RAN AWAY!” He was hoarse in his throat from lack of water, “Why?!” Dirk sounded like he was begging in the darkness now, the glow of Jake was still there, but it didn’t cover the fact that Dirk was really alone, screaming at the stone walls around him. “Why do you treat me like I’m a piece of shit and I’m not worth it- I tried so fucking hard to be what you wanted me to be!” Dirk had his hands clutched around his shirt, where his heart was- that was beating hard and trying to break. “Why did you fucking leave me there- and not even come looking for me!” He was sobbing, “I was fucking-g tortured! He raped me and fucking killed her and- and-! Why-y-y?!” Dirk’s eyes, despite how much they filled with tears, stared at Jake who looked horrified and unable to answer. “I loved-d you-…” Dirk sunk to the ground, whispering it as the darkness filled him again, “Why the fuck did I ever love you-u… I hate you- I hate you so god damn much… Why did I ever love you…” He begged him to answer and Jake tried to touch him but he flinched away, only to see him flicker out and Dirk let out the most pitiful wail.

                He hit the ground with his first, his entire body shaking. Years of living with pent up emotions drove him to these moments when he completely lost himself. Dirk knew in his mind that he would regret this all later, thinking it was childish of him even though no one else was around to witness it. Finally he quit crying when he was sure he couldn’t produce anymore. He laid there for so long that he heard the tray slide in for his once a day meal. Dirk hadn’t eaten the last two… but it was a helpful time keeper. The man felt a lot of inner weight off his chest. Somehow acknowledging how much he _didn’t_ forgive Jake for what he did made his chest easier to breathe… Now he just had heartache to replace it. Dirk wondered briefly if that feeling would ever go away now- it had been underneath all the rest of his pain ever since he had told Jake that they weren’t together anymore when at the hospital. It was there, just unnoticeable until now. His mind was dark for once, and he felt like a void had opened there. If someone saw him, kneeling in the middle of a pitch black room, covered in blood, eyes dilated, breathing heavily, and vacant look on his face… they would probably think he had finally lost it.

And they would have been right.

                Dirk swallowed, crawling toward the mush on a tray. They didn’t even give him silverware. He swallowed again, looking at the food when the drop box opened again and a hand enter briefly, dropped an orange, and quickly retracted. He was stunned- not only because of the healthiness of the fruit- but who the hand that was still bandaged might belong to. Dirk picked it up, using his nail to try to pry open the little door a bit. It maybe moved a few centimeters but otherwise, did not budge. It offered just enough light though for him to be able to see his surroundings… lots of scratch marks on the walls and names of those carved into the wall. Dirk murmured to himself, looking at each one. Like Nathanial’s cell and his own bunk bed. A wild hair took over the other, and he stood up, despite the pain, and walked over to them. He read them over as he ate at his orange. He hadn’t tasted something this good in a while and tried to moderate himself at least a little. The past breakdown was out of his mind and Jake stood behind him. “What are you going to do?” His voice seemed a little worried and Dirk didn’t turn to look at him.

                Dirk didn’t answer him for a few moments, just simply stared at the wall. Jake swallowed behind him and Dirk finally answered, “I’m going to do what my brother did.” The other stiffened, “Dying isn’t the answer here, Dirk!” His voice sounded urgent and the blond immediately laughed, silencing him. The blond turned around, eyes wide and slightly wild. “No. I’m going to fight- you told me to fight- Bro did, Rachel did- Nathanial did! They all told me to fight!” He laughed like he was going insane and pointed at him, orange still in his hand. “You wouldn’t listen to me about the Game! So we’re all going to die!” Jake frowned, “You need to sit down, Dirk.” The blond grinned coming closer to him so fast that Jake backed against the wall, despite being bigger and not real; orange eyes were burning into green. “I stay here, I die. I fight, I die. I die faster if I fight. I belong here but where is the fun in dying a quiet death?” Jake worked his mouth before shaking his head, “Dirk you’re not making any sense, you’re stressed- you need to calm down.” Dirk walked to the tray, tossed the tray a bit to throw the slop off before smashing it against the wall. Jake jumped again as Dirk broke a sliver out of the tray that was about as long as his forearm. He sharpened it for a moment on the ground before looking up at the wall of names.

                “No one- not you, or Nathanial, or Daniel or the Warden or the guards… are ever going to hurt me again.” He whispered a slightly crazed smile still across his features. He took the shard to the wall and started to carve. Jake stayed near petrified as he looked at the two words he was carving over name after name. It looked poorly done and the taller of the two swallowed again, whispering soft words in the darkness. _“What have they done to you, Dirk?”_ Large slash marks in the wall formed perfectly, ‘THE PRINCE’ in the wall. Dirk laughed at his question before shrugging. “Everything.”

Thus in the quietest moment of his life, a new monster had hatched to break the silence with a mighty roar.

xXxXxXx              

                The guards grinned when they opened the door a week and a half later. They were expecting to the inmate that had stopped screaming around the third day to be curled into a ball and catatonic. A brief creak from the door as it opened wide to let the light into the room. They didn’t hear a sound and smirked at each other, opening it farther. But the grins started to slide off their faces slowly but surely, seeing prisoner 413 was not on the ground in a blithering mess but a very calm man walking toward them. Sound of his standard issues shoes tapped on the concrete floor. They immediately took several steps back, one of the guard’s hands going to his hip for a weapon. Dirk stepped into the light of the hall, slipping on his sunglasses with a slight smirk. “Nice to see you.” His voice was soft and sent a chill down both of their spins. They watched with wide eyes as he turned and walked toward the cafeteria area. Blood was dried underneath his nose still and his fingernails were in no better shape. Dirk didn’t seem to care though as he took purposeful steps toward the lunch area. He had found out that if you stopped breathing at certain times of the day, you could just hear the bell ring for the meal times. Lunch was in the middle of being served.

                The room went entirely too quiet as Dirk opened up the door to the main room and walked through the very middle. A path was made if someone stood in his way. Kar had stood up, watching him through the gaps in the crowd as Evert did a double take looking at him. There was something about the look on his face, something about how he walked, that made Evert pray to his gods in the recluses of his own mind. Plenty of people had gone to solitary, though most of them acquired new twitches and a sense of heavy paranoia. Most also ended up committing suicide when threatened again with it. Kar didn’t stand in shock for very long, as Dirk got his tray and walked back to his original place in front of the two men. Kar stared at him for the longest while before speaking up as the crowd started to drift off in their various directions. “What the fuck happened to you?” Dirk glanced up at him from where he was ravishing his sandwich with more vigor than they’d seen him use. “Hrm?” Kar blinked, “Don’t give me that ‘hrm’ shit, something changed. You aren’t so jumpy- or fucking- I don’t you, you aren’t as timid or something.”

                Evert watched him with much keener eyes, staring at him and into his soul almost. Dirk’s orange eyes met his and Evert didn’t find the same connection there as he had before. It spooked and intrigued him immensely. “Just did a lot of thinking while I was locked up.” Dirk told him simply and Kar raised his eyebrows, “Thinking?” He spluttered and Evert frowned, “You want to get stronger?” The sentence was so out of place that Kar frowned and looked at him, brows furrowed as to why the Native American had suddenly said that out loud. He knew the man was a health nut, but Kar didn’t think it leaked into mostly civil conversation just yet. Even more surprisingly, Dirk nodded immediately afterward. “Yes. How did you know?” Evert was silent for a moment, choosing his next words carefully. “You look… determined.” Kar snorted, not calling the look on his face that but more in the ‘insane’ range. The blond smiled slightly, “Think you could help me?” He asked softly and Evert felt a brush of cold run through him before he nodded as well, “I believe that could be arranged.” Kar hissed, “By all means, lets disregard this huge change in personality to make time for more fucking gym visits.”

                Dirk’s eyes turned back to Kar and red ochre eyes found his. “Don’t worry about it Kar, I’m fine. I’ve just decided… to start being more of myself.” Kar rose an eyebrow as the warden walked into the room from behind him. The bruises and cuts on his face hadn’t healed completely yet and he looked around before spotting Dirk. His eyes bugged out for a moment before he retreated with the guards looking bewildered in his wake. Kar turned too late to see what he was looking at but was smart enough to put things together himself. “The Warden apparently picked up all the ‘walking on egg shells’ syndrome you fucking dropped. Maybe the fucker will leave us alone a bit more now.” Dirk shrugged, “Where is the fun in that?” Evert and Kar looked at him with the same expression before the blond stood up, “I have something to do. I’ll be back later.” Kar opened his mouth to speak before Evert nudged him to keep quiet as Dirk deposited tray and left almost as quickly as he had entered.

                The first place Dirk went was the showers to change into a new uniform and wash the dried blood from his features. He looked at himself in the mirror and didn’t notice any real changes. He was bruised heavily around his neck and cheek, the part of his collar bone that could be seen was bruised as well. He removed the shirt to examine his side that looked worse and his stomach. A deep purple bloom was covering the expansion of his chest. He left the view of himself to shower, only getting out of one of his infinite showers when someone else came in. Another inmate that he had seen had come in but wasn’t slightly interested in him as he used the bathroom, took a few things out of his locker and left. Dirk had a view of what was in there via his mirror and slowly raised an eyebrow as he spotted a jar of hair gel. He had gone almost natural since he had gotten there and unlike some members of his friends and family, his hair did not keep his favorite style without maintenance…

                A part of him told him it wasn’t nice to steal when he easily popped the old lock on the locker. It was barely latched in the first place and all it took was a string from the bloody uniform in the right direction to hook it and pull upward. The lock came undone immediately and Dirk made a mental note to thank Roxy for all of her ‘thief’ knowledge. The girl didn’t have those talents until she had her god tier but no one complained she knew how to use it either. Dirk took the hair gel, a pen and paper and finally a comb that he could disinfect. Dirk made quick work of his hair just in case the man came back. His hair was a little longer than usual, his side burns had defiantly grown out and for the first time he noticed he was growing a chin strip. Which was strange for him to one, not notice in the first place, and two, to grow any kind of facial hair at all… right now it was simply a soul patch and he examined himself a little in the mirror. He shaved the little mustache he had going off after stealing a razor from the man too. Unlike Jake, he couldn’t pull off a mustache at all without looking like a pedophile in his opinion. His orange hat that had been hanging on his unused belt loop until now; it rested on the sink beside his hand. He finished styling his hair, looking at himself in the mirror. He looked familiar to himself and for a moment he thought that it wasn’t himself in the mirror- but some other Dirk. Like he was a ghost of something former.

                Dirk sat down for a few moments on one of the benches in the locker room before taking out the pen and pad. His next stop he was going to need to be prepared for. Dirk started to draw a very detailed piece of art that showed his actual talent rather than just shitty comic drawings. He could build robots, create music, sing and sketch like nobody’s business. But ask him to write a scholarly paper or interpret his own human emotions- he was absolutely useless. Dirk looked it over, redoing it in some places or adding shading in others. When he finished he folded it to put it in his new clothing’s breast pocket before returning the pad and pen back to the locker he got it from. Dirk quickly dressed and went back to looking at himself in the mirror for a moment. He put on the orange ball cap and his hair stuck out on the sides. Dirk sighed through his nose slowly before nodding to himself. He brought it over his eyes more and headed out to a familiar path he had traveled not so long ago. The path was the same, passing another room that had a news report of the crime and murder rate tripling in several cities overnight.

                He found Gabriel exactly where he thought he would. Jake was right behind him, staring at Gabriel in the room beyond. The man had clown paint on and Dirk didn’t interrupt him from what seemed almost like mediation if he hadn’t heard the faintest of snores from his upright position. “You sure you want to do this?” Jake whispered and Dirk stepped inside the room and cleared his throat. Jake faded as Gabriel looked up at him with blurred eyes and a slow smile curved from his black colored lips. “You came back… heard you found yourself in a motherfuck’in unpleasant place, bro…” Dirk nodded sitting in the chair he had before and Gamzee smiled at him as Dirk remained impassive. “So what can I do for ya?” The blond wordless pulled the note out of his pocket and offered it to him. The once troll unfolded the piece of paper and look at the diagram and artwork placement in awe. “This is a motherfuck’in miracle on paper, bro…” he muttered and Dirk briefly smirked, “Can you do it?” Gabriel nodded, “Yeah, I can do it… may take a long while with that much detail though, bro.” Dirk let a slow smile, “I’ve got all _motherfuck’in_ day.” Gabriel put the note beside him for a moment before getting out his tools before turning back to him, “Take the shirt off, Prince, you’re in for a long ride.”


	14. RISE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, loves. Things got busy on my end. Chapters should be coming a lot faster now. <3

                “What the fuck happened to you?” Kar stared unabashedly at him from where he sat on Dirk’s lower bunk. The blond had just stepped in after nearly going missing for the entire day and the guards were only just now starting to sheppard the inmates into their cells.

                Dirk cocked his head to the side, looking at Kar thoughtfully, “Around.” He hadn’t rolled up his sleeve to expose his arm just yet but he felt Kar’s eyes focus like a trained sniper’s crosshairs on the little bit that showed underneath the material.

“Alright, play that game, you vague fucker.” Kar still stared at him, eyes flickering over the new jewelry as well. He wouldn’t admit that… the additive metal didn’t… _not_ make him perhaps a little more attractive. Kar immediately shut off the train of thought. He didn’t need to be pining over some asshole bunkmate that went missing for days on end and had enough guilt for the both of them in his life. Even if he was… somehow handsome and it didn’t help that the said man of his thoughts was right in front of him. The few new piercings were glinting in the florescent light above them. Kar licked his lips a little, tracing the additions covertly in his mind.

                Dirk had always been scared to get them before- now he just didn’t care. A silver inch long cuff hugged the rim of his left ear as three hoops that weren’t very large were on the right in the same position. They were only slightly red and Dirk knew Gabriel was surprisingly skillful in his craft; though the man seemed constantly either drunk or so high he needed permission to land. He already had a hole in his tongue from a past self-piercing, but had taken it out because of the Game. No one liked it when someone got their piercings ripped out of their ear- hence the reason why he had stopped wearing the gauges he had after a particularly bad run in with the troll’s ancestors. One could only get an arrow shot through their gauges so many times without wetting themselves. A new bar in his left eyebrow was also an addition, though it could barely be seen versus the others. The tongue piercing had simply been replaced and he had let out a happy sigh to finally have something to play with while he was bored stiff; most didn’t know that when he was bored he tapped so much it drove almost everyone he was around slightly insane.

                Kar came toward him without permission and rolled up his sleeve, staring at the new tattoo he had on his arm. It was completely up to where his shoulder connected with his torso. A funny looking face smiled back at him that Kar didn’t recognize. It was colored in, and it dawned on Kar a moment later that it looked almost exactly like Hella Jeff from the comic he had thought was probably the most shitty thing he’d ever read… ironically. The whole tattoo though was a damn piece of art. Underneath Hella Jeff (that now had an eye scar for some reason) was a rainbow with the quote filling in each of the bars of color, _“If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of free men we must live through all times, or die by suicide. –William Adams”._

 Kar read it over in his head another time to understand it’s meaning and continued down the other’s arm. A katana blade came out of the rainbow and stood over a battered and cracked shield. On the left of the shield came down a rush of water that foamed at the bottom, red tear drops came down from the black cloud around the blade and shield and fell into the water. There were enough to count and he remembered someone telling him that tear drop tattoos meant the people they had killed in remorse. Kar didn’t look away and turned his gaze toward the left of the shield, where a heart symbol nearly disappeared around the other side of his arm. Half was full, half was empty and he felt a strange pull to his chest seeing it. There was a lightning bolt across a ripped up banner with a symbol on it that made him stir in his heart- something akin to fear though he didn’t understand why.  The symbol was white on the purple banner that tore in half, almost like an ‘H’ but more cryptic.

                Underneath that a gun lay above a sunflower, which had Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony completing the rainbow that wrapped around his arm.  Underneath that was a strange kitchen utensil in red; and under that was a creepy looking puppet and a pair of shades. Then a martini glass pouring fire onto a pair of black wings over the name, which was on fire, of ‘Strider’. Finally he reached his wrist, which had four distinct black bans around it with one running through the middle. He turned his wrist over to see names scratched in white into each of the black bars. Kar frowned, reading down in his mind, _“Jake, Roxy, Jane, David…”_ He read the bar down the middle and blinked at the name, _“Jenna.”_ Dirk let Kar run his fingertips over the markings lightly before turning to look up at Dirk. “Who’d you get them done by?”

                Kar already knew the answer and Dirk shrugged, “Another prisoner in a different cell block. I don’t know who he was.” A blatant lie that Kar looked like he could see right through for a moment; then simply shrugged, raking his gaze over the other for a moment in appreciation. He cleared his throat, “Fine, I don’t give a fuck. Are you going to be gone again or are you just deciding this ‘new you’ is the best one.”

                “Like I said, I had a lot of time to think in solitary.” Kar raised an eyebrow, but said nothing as his arms crossed his chest to look up at him. “Yeah, looks like you found a new personality while you were in there.” Dirk shrugged fluidly, “Does it matter?” The other opened his mouth, shut it, and repeated the action before narrowing his eyes with a deepened frown.  Dirk offered a brief, rare smile. “Don’t look so worried, it’s not like you have anything to be concerned about from me.” There was a pause from the other as Dirk lowered himself down to his bunk while Kar remained standing. “So if I don’t, who fucking does? Getting revenge on the warden is a pretty fucked up idea if that’s what’s in your head.” Dirk shrugged again and Kar felt the urge to smack him. ‘ _Vague Fuck’_ was truly an amazing nickname for him. Kar opened his mouth to tell him and his new found personality off when a shadow came over them. He went still feeling the presence before turning and Dirk’s eyes narrowed through his classes.

                “I request 413’s presence in my office.” The woman asked, her long dark hair flowing down her back and shoulders. Her one dark blue eye bore into Dirk’s sunglasses as his expression didn’t change. Kar seemingly felt the same unalienable presence about her, felt the strength and virtue… smelt the scent of ocean air and death. It made him nearly shrink back away from her, eyes staring but trying not to. “Why is that?” Dirk asked, seemingly unbothered by the strong presence- already knowing where it came from and thus adjusting to it in his mind. Her white doctor’s coat fluttered slightly as an inmate passed behind her. “All prisoners are supposed to be examined after solitary confinement.” She said simply with a brief smile, “I expect to see you there shortly.” And with that, she was gone. Kar physically relaxed before looking at Dirk, his frown had become a thin straight line. “Something is weird with you.” He whispered and Dirk looked up at him curiously, lifting himself back up from the bunk bed. Kar shook his head, eyes lowering with a distant glazed look in his eye. “It’s like… things are different when you’re around… like I’m having a horrible taste of dajavu… Like I’ve lived this before but I haven’t….” He shook his head again and he blinked, “What the hell just happened.” He pressed the palm of his hand into the side of his head and Dirk watched him with interest, stepping out of the way now he could sit down. Kar stared at the floor with wide eyes before Dirk spoke softly to him, “Never know… maybe we were star crossed lovers in our past life.”

                He hadn’t meant it to be serious, but the look on Kar’s face was absolutely stunned. He babbled under his breath for a few minutes before he swallowed. Dirk shrugged, “Just a thought.” Before stepping out of the cell to head toward Mindfang’s office. He wondered what exactly she would examine him for. Hell, it was still ironic as anything that of all people to be a doctor, Mindfang was chosen. The slip up by the Warden when he was bludgeoning him with his nightstick wasn’t lost on Dirk either. Dualscar’s ‘employer’ has sent a ‘watchdog’. Dirk could only imagine that his employer was more than likely the Fish Hitler herself, which was more troubling than he’d like to admit thinking that she was roaming around in a position of power. And the watchdog must have been Mindfang… which didn’t sit right with him either. If he was as good as connecting the dots as he thought he was, Mindfang was a better murderer for hire than she was a doctor. That easily meant that Redglare had died so similarly to the way she had in the Game and in the troll’s past. Dirk also considered that fact that there was a rare possibility that Mindfang may kill him this visit; since he had pretty much established her as Redglare’s killer at this point, though he had no real evidence to support that theory. But really how far from impossible was it?

                Dirk knocked on the doctor’s door, hearing a soft call for entrance immediately afterward. He had never been inside the infirmary before- he hadn’t gotten that beat up in his time here by some miracle. She didn’t glance up from her journal, where she wrote in blue ink. Somethings never did change… “One moment, 413.” She addressed him softly, plump lips in a thin line as she wrote. He nodded, looking around the room. White walls and gray tile floors that could have been a hundred years old from what they looked like. There were some stains on the ground, but he knew what dried blood looked like at this point, so didn’t ask where it came from. Dirk’s eyes found the rows upon rows of locked up medicine bottles and chemicals. Mindfang finished her paragraph and closed the booklet, standing slowly to reveal her tight fighting clothing underneath the lab coat and her knee high boots. One might _almost_ mistake her for a pirate in costume…  “My name is Margaret S. Minatha. Or Doctor Minatha to you. As I explained in your cell… Its customary for all prisoners that are exposed to the environment inside the cell while in solitary have to have tests run on them to make sure they are…. For lack of better words, not suicidal.” She smiled gently at him, though it held no kindness in her tone or her eyes. Dirk cocked his head to the side to look at her, “You think I’m suicidal?”

                The doctor kept smiling, “It’s not about what I think. Though from what your file says, and your recently added attributes.” She gestured to his arm, “I think you’re impulsive… and that could be a danger to angry in the right circumstances…” Dirk smirked, cocking his head to the side with the faintest dare in his gaze. “And what do you think those circumstances are?” She stepped closer to him and for a moment Dirk had an entirely new image in front of him. He was standing on the personal cabin of a ship with Mindfang in front of him, her eyes intense on him as she stepped closer to him. Her skin tight black pirate’s garb was admittedly sexy, even though he didn’t feel any attraction to her physically. The boots clicked on the wood floorboards, as he moved silently. He had met her in the process of the Game- just like he had all of the troll’s ancestors. They didn’t look away from each other in their predatory circle- not out of lust, or desire, but of mutual understanding of the power they had. His sword was out and scraping the floor of her quarters and her own rested easily on her shoulder. Her grin turned feral and they went at each other in a second.

                The vision ended and Dirk sucked in breath as she was close to him now. “I have a feeling that those circumstances will be shown to all of us very shortly.” The doctor said softly, a glazed look in the eye that remained and she blinked rapidly to rid herself of flashes of imagery.  Dirk didn’t question how she knew that and she started to pull out a needle, seeing the need to actually do something that involved medication while he was here. “I need to take a blood sample.” Dirk offered her the arm that wasn’t tattooed to the hilt and she drew the blood quickly without difficulty, like she knew exactly where to get the best vein. It was relatively painless, though Dirk didn’t completely rely on his pain receptors to tell him the truth at this point in his life. The doctor nodded and did a brief questionnaire about whether he was suicidal or not- he easily gave her the answers that he knew would make them believe he was completely sane. She nodded after a few moments reading over the results and looked back up at him, “Thank you, 413. That will be all.” Though she didn’t say it, it was obvious that she found how _normal_ the results… rather disconcerting.

                He muttered a brief acknowledgement before letting himself out, looking toward going back toward his cell. The prison seemed strangely quiet to him and he pieced it together that most of the people were more than likely outside in the rec yard with the weight lifting equipment. He steered himself in that direction, eyes being shield regardless of the sunglasses as he walked out. Dirk looked around for the tall Native American he come to know and spotted him near Kar, who sat in the only shaded part of the entire prison yard- that was being baked underneath the Texan sun.  Kar took a long drag of the cigarette in his fingers, looking up at Dirk with narrowed eyes. “You have a knack for surviving the fucking staff.” He muttered and Dirk shrugged, watching Evert pumping iron that weighed twice as much as him with relative ease. “He’s good.” The blond pointed out and Kar flickered his gaze to the man and nodded, “Yeah… he’s on his pre-work out of whatever the fuck he calls it.” He muttered and leaned his head back. “Fucking hate the heat.” The man muttered and Dirk raised an eyebrow.

                Dirk found that rather ironic. Kar, who had died by fire more than once in the Game, and his ancestors in similar ways connecting to that, hated the heat. Not to mention that ‘Cancer’, the mark he obtained, was a water sign of all things. Did the Game bleed into reality so much that the finer points had even found ways to connect themselves to this world? Dirk supposed they had since Mindfang was missing an arm and eye. Had Redglare been the cause of that? He could hardly envision a judge cutting off a doctors (or assassins) arm. Perhaps something Redglare had somehow caused it- but he doubted asking the newest addition to the prison’s faculty would head any answers. But the visions he was getting was interesting to say the least. They weren’t hallucinations; he had had enough of those at this point to recognize one from another. He had actual… visions, of his life in the Game brought on by seeing some individuals. Though it wasn’t just him that saw these images, but the other person they involved. Almost as if seeing him brought on the imagery for them as well. Perhaps… and this was a long shot, his aspect had caused the connection?

                He thought about that for a moment. Some of them had retained some of their abilities when they had returned from the Game. Roxy still knew how to steal better than anyone else. Jane could make anything grow, and so on. Dirk had never found anything to connect him to his. Being the ‘Prince of Heart’ supposedly caused a connection between heart and soul- at least that was what Rose had told them in the Game. He had no idea how true it was, but it would make sense on how he could cause them to see their past lives briefly. Even if they didn’t know what it was. The Game bleeding in added to the effect he imagined, and thus allowed it in the first place. He was allowing them to see the literal version of his mind through a connection of mind, body and soul. That was an interesting aspect if it was correct… and he could definitely use it to his advantage eventually. While he was in solitary he had come up with a plan to change a few things around this prison. But the first step was getting his body back into working condition. Jake was beside him suddenly, frowning steadily at the other prisoners.  It broke him out of his mental discussion with himself. “You should be careful… there is no telling if your plan will work with this group of chaps… they look like a bunch of real rough blokes…” he breathed into his ear and Dirk moved toward Evert who was doing military style push-ups. “Hey, show me how you did that.” He had no idea that Kar and Jake shared a mutual expression as they say him walk off… though only one disappeared.


	15. Elastic Heart

While Kar was steadily getting more and more frustrated with himself; Dirk was growing more annoyed at the hallucination of Jake questioning every decision he even vaguely thought of.  If Jake didn’t fully appear to try to change his mind from something potentially stupid, he was a constant voice in the back of his mind. He became real enough to Dirk over time that he spoke out loud to him, much to the worry of his following that he had started to gather. The inmates that did decide to follow him would often play it off if they heard him, stating it was the aftermath of solitary confinement; many prisoners had come back from that with added issues to what they already had.  But for today, Dirk was void of his posse- which now hung around the lunch table without Dirk even speaking to them. He was strong both physically and mentally now, thus they flocked to him like seagulls. Kar had taken to calling them the ‘birdbrains’ since Dirk’s hair had suddenly started to look like a bird’s disheveled feathers sticking up in the back.

                Kar, Evert and Dirk were in the Recreational Yard, sun still high in the air. It seemed like the blond and Evert did nothing but work out now in their spare time- either that or consume a ridiculous amount of calories in the cafeteria. Kar took a drag from his cigarette, heel bouncing as Dirk continued to do several pull-ups. In the last few months, the blond had regained almost all of his muscle mass to the lithe, tanned build of someone who could snap someone in half.

                If someone had told Kar that Dirk was going to be ripped better than most super models, have a cocky barely there smile to make even the most heterosexual men swoon, and a look given to Kar to make him want to imagine all the things he would do against those said tanned abs in the middle of the night in their dark cell…he would have probably smacked them back to the Stone Age.

                His eyes lingered a bit too long and Dirk’s head turned toward him as a slight sheen of sweat seemed to give his now fairly tanned skin an oily look. The inmate stiffened considerably- and he was again thankful that his blood issue prevented easy erections- and looked away, focusing on the cigarette smoke wafting from his lips. He allowed himself to think, _“God damn, did he always have to exercise shirtless?!”_

                Dirk seemed to not only notice Kar’s steady growing frustration but seemed to constantly act on it as well- easily making it worse. Such as borrowing cigarettes from him only to near make love to the thing before lighting it up. Only leaving Kar to berate himself later for his overactive imagination; there couldn’t be a single thing sexy about lighting up a cigarette in front of someone.

                …Not how one’s lips curved around the cylinder, not how his orange eyes just barely peeked over the sunglasses he wore to bore into his while they were framed gorgeously by blond lashes, not how his fingertips were stupidly gentle on the object and the lighter when taking it from him, not the inhale of breathe only to have smoke curl around them both, not the satisfied sigh- Kar swallowed and shut his eyes to cut off the image. He’d be the death of him.

                Granted, he still found the personality change to be strange and the effort to ‘keep on living’ as what Evert had explained in his cryptic way… there was still something that had been awoken with his attraction to the other with the new found confidence. It wasn’t necessarily on purpose either. It had just… happened. It wasn’t like the blond was bad looking to begin with, but now that he was _almost_ getting back on the horse it just… Kar sighed angrily before announcing he was going back inside a little too loudly in his own brought on rage.

                 He had no idea that Dirk had entirely different reasons for making Kar frustrated. The blond had found out that the more he came onto Kar, the angrier the hallucination of Jake got and thus the quieter he became. Somewhere in the back of his mind he realized that the Jake that seemed to haunt him wasn’t the real Jake, but the constant nagging about ‘being smart’ or ‘staying safe’ or the ever annoying, and the ‘what would the others think’, drove him to just purposefully piss the ghostly image of his ex-lover off. The Jake in his mind would narrow his eyes, then go quiet for a while before starting in on him again. Dirk started to find pleasure in it… in more ways than one.

                Kar wasn’t ugly by any means and with the additive bonus of pissing ‘brain-ghost Jake’ off, he saw no reason _not_ to flirt with the other inmate. There was nothing serious about it… he still had issues with even the thought of intimacy from his experiences with Nathanial. Dirk nodded to Kar as he practically screamed he was going inside and continued with his work out. His tan had gotten better and he was starting to actually look _normal_ again. The bruises were gone, now just leaving the worst scars behind in the last couple months’ worth of training with Evert. He couldn’t help but feel a little wrong for using the other to get back at his own brain ghost… but it wasn’t as if Kar was telling him to stop either. Not to mention, he needed Kar. His plans had changed a bit from what they had been. Now he was focusing on not escaping- but getting the prisoners released entirely. The plan wasn’t set in stone, but for his main part, he would need an army to defeat the Fish Hitler’s personal army- whoever it might be; giant robots, squids, undercover agents, scary clown henchmen or the manufacturer of Ms. Daisy’s dancing flowerpots… he didn’t care. Kar wouldn’t make much difference in his own private army, but he knew how to get out of the prison, who did what to whom, weak points and soft spots of all the prisoners…. In the long run he’d need Kar- and what better way to keep him close than to have him interested? Each day that went by Kar got more and more angry at himself for liking the other and paid less attention to the questions Dirk asked.  

                As if the Native American heard his thoughts, he looked up at him from where he was doing the one armed push-ups with relative ease. “He’s disgruntled.” He said candidly and Dirk dropped down, gather up the shirt that was off to the side over the barbells. “Apparently.” Evert didn’t add why he thought he was either, already knowing that there was some sort of ‘cat-and-mouse’ game going on and definitely not wanting to be a part of foolishness. If his fellow prisoners decided to engage in something like that in these times, he couldn’t and wouldn’t stop them. He did though, make several suggestions throughout. Even if he was a very stoic fellow, he a knack for knowing what to say at the exact right moment when it came to his friends- if he could call them that. “Perhaps you should go discuss his frustration with him. Before he gets more… crabby.”

                The term brought a smile to his face, knowing Evert had only a few weeks ago found out not to use that word around the other when Kar had kicked him so hard between the legs the other had been in the fetal position for quite a while. Even Dirk had winced at the strained high-pitched whimper that had come out of the other’s closed mouth. Someone like Evert, with his height and build, was undoubtedly well-endowed and Dirk could only imagine how much it probably hurt to get it kicked by someone like Kar- who was short, but had the legs of a track star. The image of Karkat in his god tier outfit even made the great heterosexual John Egbert turn his head to look at him in the time he’d known the other. The troll had some perfect legs on him, despite his constantly angry personality.  In the grand scheme of things, it probably evened out.

                Dirk nodded to him before heading inside. He passed a group of inmates that nodded respectfully to him; he passed another group that did the same.  As rumors spread as the news reports got worse about the outside world, it seemed that his friends were still stirring up one hell of a mass of people for the #JusticeForJenna campaign.  It wasn’t a grand secret of who he was now, and that had earned him amazing respect from even the hardest criminals in the prison. The prisoners watched the television reports as more and more things came to light about what actually happened concerning the Morris case. And as the inmates respect for him grew, the countries outrage for imprisoning Dirk Strider grew as well. Unfortunately not just the inmates noticed, and he had even more harassment from the guards. Though everyone had adopted the nickname ‘Prince’ at this point, it was either said respectfully or sarcastically. The only inmate that seemed to avoid him now days was Gabriel, who was having problems of his own concerning the guards. He had seen the man recently earn his own time in solitary but had done nothing to stop it… mainly because the other had brought it on himself. The guards had flipped his tray of food in his face and Gabriel had reacted in a way that Dirk could honestly respect.  
Gabriel had proceeded to kill the guard who had offended him, with a spoon.

                He found Kar where he thought he would. Kar had a knack for finding good landscapes to stare out into. Kar was staring out the windows overlooking the desert outside, the brain ghost of Jake stood beside him with a frown _. “What are you going to do with him?”_ Dirk glanced at him, “Whatever I want.” And left him standing there before joining Kar on his other side. He briefly smiled at the other and Kar looked like he was going to hit him then. “You seem upset.” He told him softly, turning his head toward the desert on the other side of the barred glass. Kar glared at him before shrugging. “Anything I can help?” Dirk was rarely charitable since coming here, and Kar looked up at him with a mixed expression. A slow curve to his lips and Kar snorted at him. “No.” Dirk nodded before shrugging, “By the way, do you want that Bible back? I still have it.” He referred to the Bible Kar had given him several months ago. He still didn’t believe in it, but it made for good reading at times. Kar snorted, “I don’t want the thing back.”

                He already knew Kar seemed to hate most religion, so he asked him why more out of personal curiosity than figuring out why he hated the topic or to change his views. Kar sucked in a deep breath, annoyed look on his face. “God is a cruel bastard with a magnifying glass over all people’s heads. There are too many fucking things that don’t make sense and if god is so damn good, he killed a shit ton more people in the Bible than Satan ever did. And you know what, Satan is kinda the good guy because he punishes evil in hell so the entire concept of religion is fucked up.” Dirk frowned thinking that over, “So… you’re on Satan’s side?” Kar narrowed his eyes at some clouds that were far away and shrugged, “I counted once how many people were killed in the Bible by God. He killed almost two million… but if you wanted to really estimate shit? Almost twenty-five. You know how many Satan killed? Ten.”

                Dirk chuckled, “You’re pretty damn serious sounding for someone who doesn’t believe in the devil or god.” There was silent for a minute before whispering quietly that he chose to believe to disbelieve. Kar shrugged, looking out the window, "The devil is real. But he isn't a little red asshole with horns and a tail. He can be beautiful... because ya know, he used to be a fucking fallen angel." He looked up at Dirk and something passed between them. Like Kar was trying to tell him something without actually saying anything, "And he used to be God's favorite too before he got his wings ripped off." Dirk didn’t look offended by the insinuation. "If I didn't know you any better, I would think you just called me Satan." Kar snorted, “Maybe I did.”

                “What does that make you then I wonder? Cerberus?” Immediately the strange look went to anger and Dirk chuckled at the expression. He always knew how to piss him off. Kar snarled, “Fuck you man.” Immediately the banter turned, “Well if you want to.” Kar would smack himself later for being so dumbstruck to have his mouth fall open. Jake was two feet away from him, with narrowed eyes and pursed lips. _“Dirk.”_ The other warned and the blond leaned forward to press a kiss to Kar’s lips. It was as much as he was willing to give for the moment and Kar still didn’t react to it. Kar had sensory overload by this point, blinking rapidly to try to process that Dirk was kissing him still before the other pulled back with a raised eyebrow. “For some reason I expected more than a fish kiss.” Kar still didn’t change his expression before he narrowed his eyes, “Did you just make a pun?” He growled and Dirk raised an eyebrow, “What, anything vaguely ocean-like makes you think of crabs?” Kar spluttered and Dirk went back in for another kiss. This time it was reciprocated- then it turned heated.

                Kar was surprisingly a good kisser. He tried to dominate the kiss at first, but then backed off at the intruding tongue past his lips. The hallway around them was blessedly empty, leaving Dirk do what he liked. The blond pulled back for air, knowing that he probably could last much longer without air than he probably could from his younger years as a swimmer. Kar stared up at him with slightly kiss swollen lips and wide red ochre eyes that were confused yet… lustful. After a moment of Kar seemingly deciding whether to hit him or oblige him with another kiss, his expression changed from surprised to full of desire. Dirk raised an eyebrow expectantly and he smirked with surprise when the once troll boldly reached up, cupped the back of his head and drew his mouth down for a kiss.

                Dirk’s blood felt like molten lava in his veins. He came to realize in his mind that as long as he had control over the situation and Kar didn’t try to top him, he might be fine to continue farther with the plan. Images of Nathanial made his stomach turn to lead but pushed it out of his mind. He needed to do this… and… he almost wanted to do this. This could all work to his advantage. Dirk knew that if he wanted his plan to work getting out of here, he would need someone who knew the records better than anyone. And who could find blueprints, scan IDs, important paper work, information on other inmates… than Kar? He knew it would be cruel to play that game with someone’s emotions… but wasn’t he the Prince of Heart after all? Wasn’t the one who had made all three of his friends question their sexuality? Wasn’t the world at stake? Could he sacrifice one of the few friends he had in this place for a few moments of pleasure and manipulated use?

                _“Don’t be an idiot about this!”_ The voice in the back of his head was so loud that time that it nearly shook his teeth. Dirk narrowed his eyes angrily over Kar’s shoulder before he pulled away from the once troll who almost looked offended at the moment. “Kar…” He whispered his name and the other physically shivered in his arms, “As much as I’d like to…” Dirk sighed softly, “Bend you over the nearest desk and make you memorize the sound of my name in moan form…” Kar’s jaw went slack again and he felt something pressed up against him. Oddly enough it didn’t make Dirk feel awkward or scared-was the domination he felt now what Nathanial went for? Was that why he liked to force people into things? Dirk knew it was wrong and he was in no way wanting to rape the other… but he could see the appeal to topping more than ever now- Jake had always dominated him except for a very rare few times he got the upper hand, even then he’d taken the roll of a ‘bossy bottom’. “…I don’t think we have near enough privacy for that here.” He breathed into his ear, using the same trick that usually got Jake on edge. He gently bit down on Kar’s earlobe, tugging it between his teeth before blowing cool air onto it. His hand ghosted over Kar’s front at the last word. “Where then?” Kar voice was severally strained and Dirk couldn’t help but have a satisfied smirk on his face. “Our cell. Tonight.” He told him softly and pulled away. “See you there.”

                He twisted on his heel and Kar made a sound in his throat that Roxy had once claimed to be ‘dial-up’ noises in a drunken stupor, explaining it was someone who got too turned on and didn’t know how to handle it. He purposefully pumped into the ghostly vision of Jake who had been watching him. The image exploded behind him into nothing and Kar stared at his retreating figure. While Kar immediately went to their cell to wait, trying to work out what had just happened to him; Dirk went to the showers to scrub his skin. He didn’t know why he suddenly wanted to remove the first layer of his skin. It wasn’t Kar, but the idea of intimacy again with someone brought back bad memories. Horrible memories that he knew he had to get control over before tonight. He stripped and immediately turned the water on as hot as he possibly could get it. He hissed at the sting to his skin, watching it turn his arms bright red before turning it back a little to not look like he was completely burnt by the time he _needed_ to show skin.

                _“What is all of this about? That you want another lover? Fine, just don’t use him like you plan to do, Dirk. It’s horrible to play with people’s emotions…”_ Dirk sighed, listening to the voice behind him. There was no one in the bathroom so he could speak a bit more freely than he usually did. “What I do is none of your concern.” He replied, washing his hair out calmly. “Not to mention you should know when it comes to messing with people’s feelings.” Jake sighed, _“I can only apologize so much, Dirk.”_ Dirk laughed, “See? There’s another reason. You fucking give up. No matter how things are you’re either oblivious, ignorant, or completely dumbfounded to the truth in front of you.” Jake narrowed his eyes, the hallucination made a point of looking at the horrible scarring left over from the torture that he faced. _“What do you mean by that?”_ Dirk didn’t grace him with an answer for a long time before he stared at Jake in the mirror. “You hurt me. You may have not shot me, or stabbed me, but you ripped my heart out.” He turned to look at the other, “And now I’ve got nothing left.” He said it so simply that it was like he believed it entirely- and he did. “So I don’t care who I hurt.”

                He walked toward Jake, “I don’t care who I walk over to get to my goal. I used to care- about Roxy, Jane, and you. _Her._ ” He whispered, pushing the hallucination against the wall with a fist tightly in his shirt. He _felt_ real. “I’m going to stop Fish Hitler.” He said with finality and Jake shook his head a tiny bit, “ _You can’t do it alone! Please, if you do something like this talk to one of us- We can help you! Do you really feel like we don’t love yo-?”_ His fist tightened and he banged Jake against the locker. The old Dirk would have regretted it immediately, but the Prince wanted to do it again and again, a cold indifference had set in. “I can’t feel anything anymore.  I’m done being hurt. And I’m sure as hell not going to let myself be put in that position again.” Jake opened his mouth but shut it, disappearing from his grasp.

                Dirk let out a long breath, feeling his muscles bunched up in his back and arms. He looked at himself in the mirror. He saw the other him again. The older him with less piercings and no scars. It stared at him before Dirk used his built up energy to punch the mirror. “Get out of my fucking head.” He whispered before dressing and heading back toward the cell, trying to convince one side of his mind that he was better heartless, than concerned about anyone else. He was the Prince of Heart, and that meant he had to not have one when it came to this.


	16. Casual Affair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! This chapter contains graphic m/m sex and night terrors!

When he came back to the cell later on that evening after talking himself up with his ego. He had to admit, it took longer than expected. Kar was waiting there, eyes slightly wide as Dirk stepped inside to have the metal automatically clink shut behind him. Dirk smirked slowly as the guards told them lights out as they walked past them. “You look nervous.” He said softly, eyes intense on the other, and Kar physically gulped. The blond moved slowly toward him as the lights all went out one by one behind him in the hall, then the cells. Soon having their only light source become the moon behind Dirk. Kar licked his lips, his breath coming steadily out as it seemed to calm himself, “I’m not.” The smaller murmured and Dirk raised a bumblebee yellow eyebrow. He got closer and stopped, not doing anything. As much as it would put a wrench in his hand, he wasn’t going to force Kar into anything he didn’t want to honestly do. “If you’re too nervous to do this…” His mouth was met by Kar’s and he went silent, reciprocating but still dominating the kiss; strangely enough not being faced with opposition either. Kar had a way of drawing his tongue out to suck on and play while being straight forward of what he wanted... Dirk almost stopped him, having an image of Nathanial in his head trying to overpower him. He swallowed and this time it was Kar breaking the kiss. Kar misunderstood the reasoning behind why Dirk went rigid, “Now who’s nervous?” He asked with narrowed eyes, an unspoken challenge issued between them.

                Before he could answer, Kar’s lips were on his again. He didn’t know where the other had found the courage to initiate the kiss but his body was exceedingly thankful that he wasn’t the one who had to do it for now. He gave in and claimed his companion’s mouth with his.  Kar’s lips were soft, inviting and far too delectable to inspire any reason for Dirk to honestly hold back. He pushed the bastard image of the man he’d shot out of his mind as far as he could and focused on this. He needed Kar; his knowledge, his loyalty… and he was starting to wonder if he actually needed _Kar._ He made a low, soft sound of need in his throat and traced those lips with the tip of his tongue until they parted for him.  He entered Kar’s mouth and he found the taste of him to be almost intoxicating. There was a difference between Jake and Kar. Jake tasted like spearmint and smelt like the forest after a fresh rain. Nathanial tasted like blood and smelt of rusty metal and rotten wood. Kar was… like cinnamon and clove cigarettes… but it wasn’t a bad. The taste was a mix of spices that made him appealing to Dirk enough that he took a deep breath to relish the scent for a moment. His eyesight was so terrible that his other senses were heightened. The shorter allowed him to dominate the kiss but he was by no means passive.  He stroked his tongue against Kar’s and lightly scraped his teeth over the top of it when it withdrew a bit, creating a delightful sensation that made the blonde lose all coherent thought. Since when was Kar this good of a kisser?

                Not knowing really what to say to each other, they both wordlessly decided that nothing was probably for the best. Kar started to undo the knot that kept the upper part of Dirk’s jumper tied around his waist now he could the black tank-top off; finally be able touch the muscles he constantly fantasized about.  Meanwhile, Dirk began to kiss and suck at Kar’s neck, leaving marks on his throat that made his groin stir for the first time in a long while. The knot was undone with a bit of effort and Kar helped him out of his tank-top, tossing it to the side easily. His hands immediately found the other’s muscles torso  and Kar made a sound of desire from deep in his throat. Dirk did the same with the other’s shirt, but only sinking to his knees to do something that had once drove the only other real lover he had ever had insane with lust. He gripped Kar’s fly with his teeth and pulled it down, pressing a kiss to his exposed treasure trail undoing the buttons with his teeth. He felt Kar cock stir beside his chin and he couldn’t help being a little satisfied with himself. He hadn’t even touched him yet after all. Kar did the rest himself, getting himself out the last bit of the jumper and kicking off his clothing in the pile that was accumulating on the floor. Their shoes were long forgotten at the bottom of said pile.

                Kar swallowed, eyes going to Dirk’s genitals when he finally disrobed all the way as well. He had a feeling that the other was well-hung because of his height, build and proportions and now he had proof that his imagination wasn’t as overactive as he thought. Dirk mouth was against his and the Kar’s hand went down to grip the hot, thick length that was coming to life between them. The blond nearly jumped out of his skin at first, but then relaxed a little more as Kar gave a few gentle, hesitant tugs to see if Dirk reacted well. They were both new to each other’s bodies and didn’t know what felt right and what felt good just yet. “We should move this to the bed before one of us has our legs give out.” Dirk muttered in his ear, pressing more kisses to the hickies he had left behind. Kar only nodded, letting the blond walk them back to his lower bunk and Kar reclined against the lone pillow. He winced, reached up to grab his own and put it behind him as Dirk settled somewhat on top of him.  There wasn’t a lot of space but they could definitely make it work.

                “We’re going to need lube soon.” Dirk whispered, kissing down his chest and stroking Kar to full hardness. Kar blinked up at him, seeing the color of the other’s eyes that he found so oddly beautiful but didn’t feel he had a right to tell him to take his sunglasses off completely. “I bought some off of a guy before you showed up.” Kar answered, pointing to his discarded jumper. Dirk’s long freckled arm reached down to search through it before looking at the little tube. He smirked at it. “Always prepared- wouldn’t by chance have a condom on you either?” Kar snorted. “We all have to get checked. The guards fuck people enough that they run routine checks on everyone. I’m clean. Plus I don’t fuck just anyone in here.” Dirk raised an eyebrow at the crassly put information, “Don’t I feel special.” He mumbled as he warmed up the lube and Kar rolled his eyes, “Don’t take it like that. I don’t fuck anyone in here.” He muttered eyes downcasting, “You’re the first since…” He swallowed and Dirk kissed him to keep him from having to say it. “I know.” He whispered and the moment of intimacy between them grew.

                Kar kissed him passionately, running his fingers through his hair Dirk’s hand glided sensually down his back.  The smaller gasped as the other man’s finger stroked against his sphincter suddenly, eliciting sensations that made him want to squirm again. Dirk’s other hand came around and Kar felt something slippery being smoothed over the spot.  He realized it was the lube and relaxed against him; he nibbled his lips encouragingly to let him know he was all right after his jerk at the chill that remained on the lubricant. “Are you cold?” He asked softly as he stroked him gently. Kar shrugged and Dirk reached up to pull down Kar’s blanket on them. “That should help.” Dirk said softly and Kar laughed, receiving an eyebrow raise in return. “Just- you’re probably the most caring person I’ve been with.” Dirk glanced up at him, “Then you’ve been with some pretty shitty people.” Kar didn’t answer, just let out a soft sigh of relief through his nose when the other used two fingers on him.

                He let out a strained moan Dirk found his prostate and began to stroke it.  He panted through his teeth as the man’s steady, insistent massage made his spine tingle. He worked him over, simultaneously stroking Kar off while he worked his fingers inside of him.  Dirk added another finger to the penetration and murmured to Kar soothingly when he tensed and whimpered a little.  Determined to have the blond tonight, Kar concentrated on opening up for him and being relaxed as possible.

                It took some time, but Kar felt he was finally ready. He put his hands on Dirk’s shoulders for balance and kissed him, putting all of his need behind it.  Dirk returned the kiss and fenced with his tongue for a moment before putting his hands on his hips and silently guiding him to turn around.  Within moments, Kar was positioned on his hands and knees and he craned his neck to look back at the other man as Dirk positioned himself behind him and cupped his hips.  He rubbed the impressive length of his cock between Kar’s cheeks, making him wriggle greedily.  Kar had never been with many well-endowed partners before and knew they’d have to take it slow.  He whimpered with need before he could stop himself and he bit his lip and looked back at Dirk with pleading red ochre eyes, not trusting himself to speak.  The plaintive look must have gotten to Dirk because he swore softly and bowed over Kar, cupping his jaw with one hand to hold him steady for an aggressive kiss.  His other hand moved off of the smaller’s ass and Kar felt the knob of his sex pressing against him.

                 Kar groaned heavily as Dirk drove his length into his body slowly, easing it past the ring a little bit at a time before withdrawing to the tip and pushing in again.  At first, he thought he wouldn’t be able to take it.  Despite his best efforts to relax for Dirk, his body was resisting the invasion of his thick girth.  Dirk was patient with him and he released his jaw to slide his hand over his throat and down his chest.  He stroked Kar’s body with practiced care that he used to know was done to him by Jake, easing tense muscles and caressing the sensitive skin.  He pulled his hand away to change its position, coming up underneath to stroke his belly.

                Kar sighed against the blond’s lips as the pressure eased up a bit and the hardened flesh slid a little deeper inside of him.  Dirk began to thrust shallowly, giving Kar’s body a chance to adjust to his size and shape.  Grateful for the care he was taking, Kar murmured his name breathlessly and bowed his head, biting his lip as the little thrusts gradually pushed deeper.  His body sang with the pleasure of it and the cap of his erection was slick with precum when Dirk gripped the shaft and stroked the tip. Kar was just starting to get used to the feel of his cellmate inside of him when Dirk withdrew completely.  The smaller’s eyes popped open and he shot an offended look over his shoulder at the other man.  Before he could open his mouth to ask what the hell was going on, Dirk embraced him and deftly flipped him onto his back.  Kar blinked up at the blond in astonishment that he could have done that as Dirk grasped his legs by the back of the knees and guided them apart and back, until Kar’s knees were almost touching the bed.  Dirk’s eyes blazed down at him as he shifted and lined his sex up with his exposed entrance. Kar’s face was red with a blush, more than a little turned on that Dirk had simply moved him. Something about being someone who could easily break a bone being so gentle turned him on. Call him weird or not, it was definitely something that made his cock twitch.

                The position that the other man was holding him in made it impossible for Kar to move; all he could do was clutch at Dirk’s hips and moan as the shallow thrusts resumed when he entered him again.  When the resistance was almost gone, Dirk’s motions slowed and stopped for a moment before he pushed his cock in with slow, steady deliberation.  Kar sucked in a sharp breath and moaned as it kept going deeper and deeper, until it was fully seated inside of him.  He panted shallowly and stared up at his companion with glazed eyes and slack lips, stunned by the feel of his flesh so deep inside of him. “Don’t hesitate…to speak up if it’s…too much,” Dirk advised breathlessly.  By the strained look on his face, it was difficult for him to practice so much restraint.  He withdrew slowly and eased back in, again giving Kar’s body the entire length of his cock. Kar cried out at one particularly hard thrust and Dirk slowed for a split second, “Alright?” The smaller’s eyes fluttered shut and he moaned shakenly as he caressed Dirk’s hips invitingly.  “I’m f-fucking fantastic!” Kar said when he could manage to speak again.

                Dirk began to pump his hips slowly, still restraining his motions.  He watched Kar’s face as he took him and the smaller knew those orange eyes could read every expression that he made.  Every deep, careful push caused the heavy organ to slide enticingly against Kar’s prostate and he put his hand to his mouth again and bit down on it to muffle his increasingly fervent moans of pleasure.  The guards would have one hell of a show if they caught them. Thankfully there were snores on both sides of them. He urged Kar onto his stomach and Kar went along with it, throbbing all over with lust and need.  Dirk’s hands grasped his hips and guided him to lift his ass.  When the smaller complied, Dirk took one of the stray pillows and positioned it under his hips to elevate them.  One of his hands stroked Kar’s back as he positioned himself again with the other one. 

                This time when he entered him, he used more force.  Kar’s breath exploded from his lungs with a ragged cry as Dirk’s hard length thrust deeply into him. Kar found himself groaning encouragement to the other man and he rolled his hips in synch with Dirk’s motions, almost making a twerking motion to take him.  Dirk’s weight shifted on top of the smaller and pinned him down as he pumped steadily back and forth inside of him.  His breath was hot against his ear and Kar turned his head for a kiss.  Their mouths met and their tongues danced together as the couple strove to please themselves and each other.

                Dirk began to take him even harder and Kar had to break the kiss, fearing he’d bite him if he kept his mouth in contact with his.  He pulled one of the pillows away from the wall and propped it under his chin, biting down on it instinctively.  Dirk growled in his ear, apparently turned on by the sight of him doing it.  “I knew,” panted the blond, “you’d be a pillow-biter after I got you going, you sweet little bitch.”  His hands reached out and grasped Kar’s wrists, holding him down as he drove his hips sharply, shoving his dick against the smaller’s internal gland almost cruelly.  Kar’s muffled yell only seemed to excite him more and he groaned raggedly and guided Kar’s captured wrists together above the other.  He then held them there, crossed over one another, with one hand while burrowing the other under Kar’s hips. 

                 Kar wriggled desperately as Dirk’s hand located his erection and began to stroke it.  His pumping sex was making shockwaves of pleasure roll through him and the way he was holding his wrists prisoner in his strong grip gave Kar such a thrill that his skin prickled with goose bumps.  Unable to bear the sensations in silence any longer, Kar stopped biting the pillow and expressed his pleasure with mindless enthusiasm.  “Fuck…ohh…god…Prince!  D-don’t stop!”  He wasn’t even aware of what he was saying, until Dirk nuzzled his ear and said something. “That’s it, baby, scream for me.”  He nibbled the other’s ear, making him shudder.  Kar blurted another ragged curse as Dirk jerked him off rapidly.  If the increasingly loud groans issuing from Dirk’s mouth were any indication, he was likewise getting close to release.  Kar bit down on the pillow again and shouted Dirk’s name into it as he came in his stroking hand.  The blonde murmured breathless approval and grunted, thrusting twice more before burying his cock to the hilt and filling Kar with his seed.  He remained inside the smaller for several moments afterwards, while they both caught their breath and recovered from the experience. Kar felt the softening member ease out of his body as Dirk released his wrists and took his weight off of him.  “That was fucking amazing.” Kar whispered to the air. Dirk laughed, pressing a kiss to his forehead. It certainly sounded like he’d won the other over.

xXx

                _Nathanial was above him, the sound of saw was buzzing in the background. This time he wasn’t spitting profanities and threats at him, he looked almost sad. He was holding something in his arms. Dirk swallowed, but felt like he couldn’t move. He stared as Nathanial took his body and… Dirk shut his eyes but realized he couldn’t. His headless body was being put on the saw board and his stomach was descended like he was pregnant. He made himself look away to see himself in a mirror beside him. He was just a head- with one of his eyes missing like Jenna. His mouth opened in a scream but his tongue and teeth were missing. Mutilated and tortured he could hear the saw moving in the back ground and spitting when it got caught on a bone._

                He woke with a start after the nightmare. His eyes were wide and he immediately put his face in his hands to feel sweat on his brow. Dirk let out a shaking breath, swallowing thickly. His skin was crawling and he couldn’t process where he was for a moment. The issues he was having caused the walls to move around him and the shapes to turn into Wardens or Nathanials or… His eyes shut and he gripped the sides of his head, fingers going into his blond hair to yank to release some of the tension on his head. He tried to count in his head, think of what parts went where on a robot, reread in his mind every single thing he had ever read that he had stored. But nothing worked to calm his racing heart and the panicked feeling as the blackness closed in around him. Nathanial was going to cut him apart- he was going to do those things to him- there wasn’t an escape- His breathing grew rapidly more difficult when he felt something move beside him.  
                  
                An arm snaked around his waist and he nearly jumped off the bed as the tanned arm tightened a little bit. Dirk only now noticed he was naked and he twisted his body to look at who the arm belonged to; almost hoping that none of this had ever happened and he was waking up next to... His breath came out in a gust of breath when he saw Kar was still asleep, cuddled up with his own pillow and the other’s side. Dirk frowned at him, looking at how peacefully he slept beside him. It should have been normal- comforting even, to have someone sleeping beside him that wasn’t dying, dead, or he hated. The blond swallowed thickly, looking away from the other and getting out from underneath the cover that he had thrown over them after their night of…

                Dirk wondered if that was it. It felt more personal than he thought. It was blowing off steam- as it should have been. Rough, fun, hard… but… there wasn’t emotion on his end; it was a business transaction. He put his face in his hands, what was left of the blanket covering his crotch from view. His feet touched the cold concrete floor and he stretched his back and neck muscles, looking outside of the bars into the hallway outside where the moonlight had gone to illuminate instead of them as it moved across the sky.

                Nightmares… sleeping with his only friend to use him… he had a moment of clarity that he asked himself why he was doing all of this when Dirk knew he’d be better off dead. And for that same moment of clarity, he couldn’t answer himself in the slightest. He just knew he had to kill the one who started all of this… and if he did that, he could end it all afterward. It was like a dying vendetta to make sure she would never harm anyone again. But at the same time, it was giving him heart palpitations just thinking about going up against her again. So many had died at her hand… and she hadn’t often lifted a finger. His brother, Roxy’s mother… They had gone against her knowing they would die, but set things in motion for their descendants to live on. Was he that brave to walk in the shoes he never thought he could fill when he was younger?

                His eyes found Kar again and he sighed. Had he really sunk so low as to use another for his own gain? Did he regret it as much as he thought he should? So many questions he knew he had the answer to, but didn’t want to acknowledge them. Dirk sighed and moved to the floor to do some push-ups; Evert had told him once that exercise helped his mind get off what it was dwelling on.  The Native American seemed to know so much more than he let on it was scary; but Equius was always like that too.

                As he went from the two handed to one handed, he saw a shadow pass by and looked up immediately to see Jake walking by. There was a brief moment where Hake whispered out the word over his shoulder at him, _“Anger.”_ And continued on, to disappear into the thin air, his green eyes the last thing he saw. Dirk quickly moved over to the bars to look out and check that he’d really disappeared. “Anger?” He mouthed to himself. Did that mean Jake was angry at him? Or he had done what he had with Kar out of it? Both were probably true. He snorted, looking back at Kar and felt himself slowly let go of the burning that had been in his chest at Jake suddenly. Dirk turned his head to frown down at the bars, seeing the cobwebs at the edge of the door. Perhaps… this was enough revenge for him. Even if it wasn’t the real Jake, this was a nail in a coffin for their relationship. Dirk ran his fingers through his hair before going through his discarded jumper, not giving a shit if the cameras saw him naked from where he was against the bars. The rest of the cell block was asleep for Christ sake. He found the cigarettes he was looking for and lit one up, breathing in heavily and letting it swirl around him, the only light being from the moonlight and the red tip of the white cylinder between his fingertips.

                He smoked another before he went back to lay down with Kar. The other immediately cuddled closer, mumbling about lava. Dirk gingerly reached out a hand and brushed his fingers through his hair and Kar calmed in his sleep, going back to a soft snore instead of mumbling. How strange that he had ended up bunking and well, fucking, the one person who seemed to hate himself more than he did. Dirk shook his own head slightly before resting the hand that had been moving on Kar’s hip. He wouldn’t deny that it felt nice to have someone there in his bed again… The warmth, the sound of someone breathing beside him, he just… didn’t know why he felt so god damn guilty about it.


	17. Dangerous

                He woke early to find himself alone. His eyes were bloodshot and his hand immediately found his glasses to put on his nose, not remembering when he had removed them the night before. Dirk slowly sat up, glancing up to see the familiar imprint of Kar’s body on the upper mattress strangely vacant. The door to the cell was open and it was perhaps half past noon if not already one. He collected his clothing from the floor and quickly dressed underneath the blanket he was still hidden under.  A guard walked past but paid him no mind and Dirk peeked outside the door tying the arms of his orange jumper around his waist. His black tank top needed to be washed from the dust it had collected off the floor, but it wasn’t too bad. Things seemed quieter this morning than normal… or perhaps he just expected some sort of repercussions for last night’s activities. He glanced back at the cell before deciding he should find Kar and Evert. It was still too early to start making moves toward his plan. He needed to make sure everything was set up and perfected before he went charging in; if he missed one simple thing, a lot of things could get a lot worse before they got better. His shoes tapped loudly as he went down the hall, he assumed everyone was still in the cafeteria. Walking alone made him feel uneasy but not completely sure why. He stopped for a moment to look behind him before he kept moving forward, the feeling didn’t leave him. He kept his eyes forward and his ears pricked; only hearing the guard’s telltale jingle of keys from ahead of him.

                Weaving his way through a few corridors he relaxed a bit more at the sounds of other prisoners talking- more yelling than anything else- and movement on the other side of the double doors of the cafeteria. He opened them and slipped easily into the wide space, having no one pay any attention to him. Evert and Kar sat in their usual places; Dirk’s seat was always reserved. Kar glanced up at him and Evert had such a steady frown on his face it could have been drawn on. Dirk sat down without getting a plate of whatever they were having for lunch. From a distance it looked like mystery meat inside of a corndog… which meant it was just a regular corndog for once. Ever since that stunt that he and Evert had pulled, they were getting a lot better food. Apparently the trucks just delivered to the cabinet and didn’t give a damn where they found it. Which was odd, since they never told anyone where they put it. Dirk told himself it wasn’t important and the cooks had probably called it in. Evert cleared his throat after a few moments of silence and Kar glanced up at him in a mildly irritated manor. “I have a… request.” The tallest man started out, clearing his throat again and Kar raised his eyebrows. “Better grade milk?” Evert gave him a dirty look before muttering, “Next time you two have coitus, try make it a little less loud. I don’t care what you do. My cellmate… well.”

                Kar had turned three shades of red in embarrassment and Dirk put his chin in his upturned palm, a small smile on his face. “Let me guess, we weren’t the only ones having fun except his was invite only with his hand?” It was Evert’s turn to grow red in the cheeks and simply nodded with another cough. “Might want to get that checked out.” The blond muttered about all of Evert’s hacking and spluttering before turning his shielded gaze to the people around him. What had happened last night had certainly relieved a bit of tension that Kar seemed to carry with him. Hell, the loudmouth had barely even spoken and he didn’t… well, nothing had honestly changed in his case. He had never found the real desire to have sex or come close to having anything even vaguely romantic be around him since Morris. Dirk sideways glanced at Kar who was still beet red in the face and picking at his corndog with a fork. The blond looked away, tapping his lips. “Where can I get paper and a pen?” Evert and Kar looked up at him, “Ask the library douche. He usually has extra pages and sneaks in pens.” Kar shrugged, not looking at him. Dirk nodded, picking himself to head that direction. Kar opened his mouth again and Dirk paused, cocking his head to the side. The smaller shut it and looked away again, shoulders slumping. He waited there beside the table for a few moments before leaving himself. Evert glanced at them both before shaking his head a little.

                Eventually Kar would want to talk to him about what happened last night and Dirk wasn’t entirely sure what he would say to him.  He took the long route to where he was going to have time to think. It might be in his best interest to sleep with Evert as well, someone like him to have in his pocket would definitely aid him with both strength and loyalty. As soon as the thought was considered he dismissed it. He didn’t need a harem of people that did his bidding simply to get their dick fondled. Not to mention Evert had a thing for Nadine, straight as far as he knew, and would more than likely break him in half in the middle of intercourse. Plus, as much respect that Dirk had for Evert, he didn’t think they would make that great a couple. He was strong, quiet, and reserved. Things that he truly liked about the other man, and didn’t want emotions that neither of them really wanted to feel at the moment to get mixed in with the relationship they already had- whatever that was. Evert seemed to go where Kar went, and it was obvious that he already had Kar in his pocket from the looks he was giving him now.

His trip was even shorter than he thought it would be and let himself into the library. He walked past the sleeping guard and took a pen off his uniform. The same fat, late forty year old, rent-a-cop always slept up here. Dirk cocked his head to the side, looking at the pen he’d lifted from his shirt pocket and looked down at the keys that were hanging perfectly in his view. They were always there; just no prisoner had the balls to steal the keys from a guard. Yet.

                He restrained himself though. He didn’t need guard keys at this point and he already had enough trouble getting around guards as it was without adding having contraband for the random strip search. And a guard key would get him a hell of a lot more than just solitary… Dirk kept the pen though, and found a book about how to make arrest due to tax collections and ripped out the back pages. He found a desk and started writing before he realized he was running out of paper and just took the entire book. He used the edges of the book to write in and soon each page was filled with his plans to escape or otherwise. It seemed ironic… and mysterious, in a way, to have someone write the entire scheme on a tax collection book that no one would ever bother to look in. He snorted and reread it, glad to have it out of his mind. That was always the issue with him… he had too many things bouncing around in his head. It helped to get a larger chunk out of it to free up space.

                He bit back his own retort about himself really being a robot because of how he processed things inside his head. Dirk leaned back in his chair, letting out a low breath and pulled a cigarette from his pocket. What a horrible habit to start doing in this place… His original thought was he hoped to get cancer and die while he was in here, now he just needed it when he got antsy. His thoughts raced and he shook when he didn’t get what he needed. He supposed that he had always set himself up for some sort of addictive habit. Hell, Roxy sure as hell had one with drinking all the time. He never liked the taste of alcohol… but he had indulged more than a few times. Dirk watched the guard to see if he woke up before lighting up and letting out a breath with the smoke. His exposed neck made another prisoner that was in the room look twice before going back to his ‘herbal remedy’ books. There was still a movement to grow weed in the rec yard since it had been legalized recently. Dirk had to smile at that, so many people were worried about abortion rights, gay marriage and legalizing weed that they had no fucking idea of Fish Hitler’s arrival in this world. Was it like that in his brother’s time? Everyone was so wrapped up in the other sides of their life that they didn’t even know the world was ending until it was too late? Most of David’s old works were secret in their resistance so that was probably the bottom line of it. How strange it was to think people could ignore something right in front of their face.

                He read over his plan and let out a low breath. Plan A constructed of using the Justice of Jenna campaign to turn the people against the prison and thus government that had imprisoned him. He would get help from Gabriel and Kar mainly but keep them separate. Gabriel knew why the game was bleeding into their reality and why he was having visions of the old game as well. Or at least, Dirk theorized that he did because of the wordage he used every time they met. If he could get him to tell him what he knew, he could change a few things to be better fitting to the plan he had after getting out. After that, he would hunt down Fish Hitler and end her before she gained power to destroy the world.

                In that thought, he reminded himself he had to take one step at a time. The first part came before the second, he was going to create a prison wide escape only to not escape. He would contact his friends- who would undoubtedly come running as soon as they found out he was alive- and they would provide his audience. He would then have what he needed with the shipment of boxes that was coming in to the kitchen area- steal the markers. And then make an almost peaceful protest. Strange, even to his own thoughts, how this had all started through violence and he was going to end it through a peaceful solution. What was the best way to get the idea that they were not all murderous raving lunatics? Have them all stand outside the gate with their release dates on the board. If so many people were really been kept here after their date, it would cause the people to go into an outrage- so many people would see their supposedly dead loved ones on the evening news… the entire country would be flipping it’s shit. And that’s exactly what he wanted.

                He gave it a few weeks before they would all have their cases reviewed and at least sixty percent of the prison would have their sentences reduced or removed. And even better, the Warden would more than likely be brought up on numerous charges for abuse of authority and much more…

                Sure, he wanted to destroy this place brick by brick with violence instead of peace; he completely acknowledged his new very violent side of himself. But the issue was that if he did that, he’d have another arson charge and nothing changed. He had to think about this like a chess game and not an all-out battle- not yet, at least. And there was no one better than him at strategic thinking.

                Of course, having to get this set up was going to be the hard part. He needed a set of keys to the camera and security room. As he thought about it, his eyes flickered over to the sleeping guard again. There was a brief sigh through his nose as he forced himself to wait. Keys going missing would make his job harder, not easier. He had Kar, and that was just as good as any key. He would need to memorize the guards shifts, who walked where. They were all too damn lazy to change it up and even if they did it a few times a week, they very rarely changed the pattern of how they changed it. He would need to sneak in markers and boards; nothing too difficult with that. He would need a distraction and he knew exactly who he could use for that. And of course, he would need the media to get involved.

His mouth curved into a brief smile. Who better than to call them than the supposedly dead Dirk Strider? He sat back, blowing smoke into the air from yet another cigarette he’d lit mid-thought of his plan. Dirk scratched his eyebrow with the edge of his cigarette, thinking and planning out any kinks he may come across. He’d need the distraction secured first… Evert popped into his head, and then he thought of someone far better. A crazed clown. He needed to perfect the plan still, get Kar wrapped around his finger- hell, get into the records room and see if he could find any dirt on the Warden or the guards here to make his story rather compelling when he spun it to the news… he needed the dates of the prisoners released dates. He needed a lot out of the records room, including security system receipts and schematics if he had to go to Plan B. Which was much… _much_ more violent. They’d have a field day, but why not sweeten the deal? He wrote down something and leaned his head back. Things processed in his mind and licked his lips slowly, getting the nicotine off of them. He hated the taste, but the act of something to dull his mind sometimes was so very wanted. His head came back up after a brief period of ‘relaxation’ before tossing the book and cigarette in the garbage, making it smoke and catch fire. He watched it for a moment, whispering, “Ashes to Ashes.” Dirk stood, walking past the guard and toward the part of the prison that seemed to be the official birth place of the Prince.

xXx

                The scariest thing about solitary as he discovered was that the doors actually didn’t have locks as he originally assumed. They had timers on the outside. It was like those old mental hospitals that they would stick you in machines to try to keep you from dying from different diseases… Except that it was outfitted not to be a machine to have your head free, but to have an entire room to lock you in. Dirk swallowed looking at the room that held Gabriel inside of it. He let out a low breath, taking the dial in hand and cranking it forcefully back to zero from it’s horrible original position. It made a metallic sound, like something metal sliding away from another object. He assumed it was the locks and opened the door slowly. His solitary room had bars between the door and the room beyond- cutting the room nearly in half. The light from outside washed over the man who was crouched on the ground, scratching at the floor with his nail. Dirk found the light switch- purposefully kept on his side of the bars- and flicked it on as the door shut behind him. “Hello.” He greeted Gabriel who was still scratching at the floor. Dirk swallowed, looking at him. Some part of him told him that Gabriel was more unstable than he was; this probably meant that he was having a worse psychotic break than he had had in a room not a few feet away. The blond watched him for about fifteen minutes before he decided to clear the air, whether he answered or not. “Kar told me what happened between you and your friends.” Gabriel didn’t stop his movements and Dirk kept going, “I plan on using Kar to correct a few things that have happened here. But I need your help to make sure they go according to plan.”   
  
                There was a laugh, “You’re both like two stars, man…” Gabriel stopped scratching the ground and started pointing upward, “A fucking miracle in the making. You’re an unstoppable force- flying through the sky at the same time with two different destinies… but you stop and you realize what’s going on before you pass by it... Miracle.” He breathed and Dirk got closer to the bars with a steady frown on his face. “You know why we’re here… Don’t you?” Gabriel leveled him his purple gaze with orange and there was a single nod. Dirk’s eyes dilated, his theory was right and now he was going to find out answers finally. “How?” Gabriel laughed, a harsh wheezing one. “Doesn’t it make sense, bro? Like Faygo all the way down your throat? Giving you that relished feeling in the heat of a summer?” Dirk frowned and unlocked the barred door and stepped inside, leaving the door open behind him. Soon as he stepped inside the room he knew he’d made a mistake. There were colors of the hemospectrum on the wall- just like the time when he’d lost his mind. He’d seen it before- when Gamzee had gone off the reservation. Dirk didn’t know why he hadn’t seen it before; perhaps he had just been too obsessed with finding answers that he didn’t even notice the walls. He swallowed, knowing how dangerous it was to do this- someone could come by and lock them both in here for an undetermined length of time… and that’s if Gabriel didn’t kill him to add his blood on the wall too. “Gabriel, how do you know that the game glitched?”

                Gabriel was on top of him in the moment and suddenly he was in a fight. The man was gripping a paint brush that had been broken off to make a shiv with orange paint dripping from the other end of it. “Glitch?! THIS MOTHER FUCKIN MIRACLE isn’t a GLITCH.” He roared at him, and Dirk was barely keeping the hand with the shiv away from his chest. “Get off of me!” Dirk could see Nathanial again and the rage flowed through his veins as Dirk over powered him and got both feet underneath Gabriel’s stomach to kick him back. He had no idea what gave him such strength- but Gabriel flew back against the wall on the other side of the room. “Get a hold of yourself!” Dirk yelled at him, fist clinched and ready to fight if he tried to attack him again. Gabriel shook himself and looked up at Dirk with a confused look. “You’re the Bard of Rage, I was the Prince of Heart. We were in a game together! We helped each other at one point!” He walked over to him, gripping the front of his shirt and Gabriel seemed to focus on him for a moment. “What was my name?” He mumbled and Dirk blinked a moment, unprepared for that. Gabriel looked at him hopelessly, “What was my _name_?” Dirk’s grip slackened a bit, remembering how unstable Gamzee was in the game. It had been a mix of force feeding of the toxic goop they slept in, influence of his class of blood color, and mental abuse from multiple areas. Hell, his planet wasn’t the best place to have a healthy mental status… neither was Dirk’s… and in a way, they were more similar than he and Kar were. His grip nearly came off completely in the realization that they were so similar in that moment. Dirk had resolve to destroy keeping him sane… Gabriel didn’t have that.

                The Bard and the Prince classes were so easy to be confused sometimes. They were both wildcard players with extreme powers in their respective area. In Gamzee’s case, it had been rage. And in Dirk’s, it had been heart and soul. Dirk swallowed remembering the first time he had ever sucked the soul out of someone simply because he wanted to. It gave him chills and guilt now more than it did then. “Your name was Gamzee…” He told him softly, “You were an Alternian… An alien species to mine, which was humanity. You know some of that don’t you?” Gabriel looked at him with strange blurred eyes, “So much blood.” He muttered and Dirk nodded with a strained look of pain, “I know… I remember. But that hasn’t happened here.” Dirk said softly to him, “At least not completely.” He gripped his shoulder to get his attention kneeling down in front of him, “Gabriel, listen to me, you have to tell me what you know about the Game coming into this reality. Miracle or not. You don’t have to be covered in blood. We can set things right again.”

                He felt like he was talking to a wild animal in a way, as much as he wanted to believe that with the right help, Gabriel could be sane and not kill everyone; he also knew that Gabriel could snap and never come back from it. Solomon’s death had already proven that he could do that to an extent, even in this reality. Gabriel looked up at him, “Set things right, bro?” He whispered and Dirk nodded, “Yeah, set things right.” He tried to give him a small smile, and the other rubbed his face, not smearing the makeup and Dirk realized that it was tattooed on. Right. Completely stable.  
  
                “We know so much because of the classes, bro.” He whispered, “The motherfuckin game bleeds through, and the strongest players are made aware first- it’ll motherfuckin trickle down until all of us are trippin on the miracles.” He shook his head, “The lady in the fishnets will know first.” His head was starting to roll around, “She’s the strongest after the skull in the tux… but he can’t get through… too much too quickly…then others- The witches… the bards… the princes…” Dirk swallowed. So his theory about the ranks and aspects did have something to play into his visions and dreams. “Who’s the next class to know?”  Gabriel looked up at the ceiling and started to drool when Dirk shook him and repeated the question a bit louder. “Those who steal our hearts…” He mumbled and Dirk frowned, “Thieves? Thieves are the next to know?” Gabriel shook his head, “No… no… not the motherfuckin thieves.” He smiled, “They already know- all of them will know soon. We’re all gonna hear the miracles… the motherfuckin miracles.” Dirk sighed a bit angrily at the gibberish, “Can we stop it?” Gabriel looked at him, dead in the eye then. “No one can stop the motherfucking miracles, bro.”

xxxXxxx

                He shut the door behind him and turned the dial back to a more reasonable time at Gabriel’s request. Dirk knew he’d spent far too long picking the clown’s brain about the game but he knew exactly what was going to happen now. It wasn’t anything to change his plans, just accelerate them. The Condesce was here… and she was trying to find him along with all the other trolls. She knew that they could stop her like before, so she was seeking them out. Either to imprison or kill… whether she was behind his imprisonment, he wasn’t completely sure. But this must have been what Redglare meant that there was more than meets the eye here. And who else would Dualscar listen to than the one he wanted to serve for so long?

                She had been here since they had been. While they had been living out their lives, she had been growing power and finding an army. And she knew exactly who she was in her past play through too. According to Gabriel, the more powerful you were in the game, the faster you realized the connection or were able to remember you past. That was why he could see the visions being a Prince. Gabriel was the same, being a Bard. It was why Kar got flashes being a Knight. He swallowed, leaning against the door without a word, simply staring at the little red light that meant it was locked. There was so much at stake now. If Fish Hitler knew exactly who she was, she was going to ready an army to destroy their world just like before. David Strider and Rose Lalonde would die all over again… except this time they would be infants and it would be his fault. His eyes shut tightly and his hand against the door tightened into a fist. There was a deep swelling fear in heart… There was so much fear there.

                He would undoubtedly die now. It was a fact he accepted before, but now it was just… finite. There was no way she would overlook him. He would be the first on her list, if not Jane. Dirk didn’t have a problem with himself… but his friends dying? Everyone he had ever cared about… Roxy? Jane? Dave? …Jake? His slammed his fist against the wall, feeling his heart pick up in a panic at the thought of what happened in some of his early nightmares after the game. All those horrible timelines that just barely didn’t come true. “Stop it. Stop being scared.” He whispered to himself, feeling his muscles tremble, remembering how the Empress had taken Jane in a heartbeat… How hard they had fought to defeat her… and how many doomed timelines he had died in to wake up in other places and times. He shook his head, “Stop being so god damn weak!” He told himself again, louder. Dirk knew he couldn’t afford to be scared. The hallucination of his brother had been right; it had told him that without him… they would die. No one knew the truth except for three people. The enemy, him, and the crazed clown locked up in solitary. He swallowed as he felt a presence in the hallway and he finally looked up to see a shadow on the other side of the door. The hallway was one of the darker ones in the prison because of it’s lack of windows. He turned his head to look at the hulking form of Evert.

                His voice caught for a moment as the other fixed his blue gaze on him, arms crossed in front of him. His hair was put into a ponytail and was hanging down his back. Dirk swallowed quickly glancing at the door he had just come out of. There was an open slot, easy for someone to hear them talking through it, but how much could Evert have heard? The entire plan? The truth? Evert continued to stare at him, unwavering for nearly twenty seconds before Dirk went to open his mouth to be cut off by the larger. “You’re being foolish… to ally with him for your plan.” Dirk let out a lung full of air, before answering him, “And who else is crazy enough for me to ask?” He breathed and Evert leaned up slightly from where he was leaned against the wall, the Native American towering over him. “Perhaps… someone who now knows what’s at stake.”

                Dirk played along for a moment, “And what does this someone know now?” Evert opened his mouth and shut it, before speaking again, “I’ve had dreams…” Dirk’s eyebrows raised, letting him speak. “… of lands I don’t know, but yet I do. Of people…” He narrowed his eyes at Dirk, “I once knew but no longer. There was a reason I was drawn to that house in the city. A reason… Nadine and I…” He cleared his throat and Dirk nodded, “You heard us in there.” Evert simply nodded and Dirk sighed through his nose, knowing now was perhaps not the time to lie. “It’s true. All of it. And if you were listening to us the entire time you know a very real threat has coming.” Evert pursed his lips, “A threat we can’t hope to fight or win against. We should alley with them if we have any choice at all.” He answered softly and Dirk faltered in front of him, “I know that… but there are those who can fight. Win, even. We can’t just give up…” The blond whispered, “Help me… Help me help those who can win this fight.”

                Evert licked his lips before shaking his head, “No. You can’t stop her… No one can. We’re supposed to be here for our reasons. I… I attacked those of our home. Who accepted us. And that makes me a murderer. She was right to place us all here if she was the one who decided that.” Dirk now saw what Kar had so many issues with. He walked closer to him and looked him in the eye, “Damn it Evert, I know what a murderer looks like and you aren’t that.” He whispered and shook his head, “And you may think you killed… but you protected too. You are meant for that, Evert. Nadine needed you.” He told him with a small shake of his head. “She still needs you. And if you back out now, she will _die_.” Evert’s head snapped up to look at him. “If you don’t help her, history will repeat itself and you’ll see what you see in your nightmares…” The Native American shrank back away from him for a moment and Dirk kept his gaze steady. “You’re strong, aren’t you? Act like it. And save all those who can be saved… because there is no coming back in this life, Equius. And you know that.” He purposefully used his name and it looked like Evert was about to have his eyeballs pop out his head and roll away. Dirk walked past him and down another hallway, leaving him with his thoughts for the time being. He’d brew on it, and if he didn’t fight… Evert was not the troll he thought he was.  
  
                There was more fear in his heart than ever before. He needed to accelerate his plans- he needed to hurry and try not to think about everything he’d just learned. Facing ones death and morality in a single moment tended to scare people… and he refused to be one of them. His breathing was coming fast in a near panic attack. He all but ran to his cell, finding it actually easier to breathe as he ran. Soon as he walked into the cell he had, he stopped short. A blond, swinging her legs back and forth while sitting on his lower bunk, looked up at him. His eyes widened as pink eyes turned underneath pale eyelashes and heavy eyeliner, and a smile formed on black clad lips. Roxy hopped up, grin on her face, “Wow Dirk! You’ve got a tan!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is confirmed that there is going to be a third part (or 'Act') of this series before it ends. Nicotine (Act 2) is coming close to its end very soon. I'm going to shoot for twenty-one to twenty-two chapters though that's not finite, it may go on longer. As promised, there is also going to be a playlist at the end of this Act.
> 
> Also to answer the numerous questions I've gotten e-mailed about... I wouldn't give up on Jake and Dirk just yet. I have something in mind for them. ;) That's all I'll say for now. Also I won't be continuing the 'Curse My Lungs and Burn My Eyes' series after 'Act 3'. It will be a complete and wholesome ending. This doesn't mean though I won't be doing several other series revolving around our four heroes. Some of these said series may pick up a few years after this series ends... we still have the Beta kids after all... (*cue massive evil laughter in the background*) and little side stories like Jake/Roxy/Jane's point of view, or maybe a snippet of what happens with Equius and the trolls. There is just so much to look forward to~ 
> 
> You never know, I might even get convinced to do an Act 4 though I doubt I will. 
> 
> Anyway, things are going to start picking up a lot faster, so stay tuned and remember to leave a comment. It really does help me keep going with this sort of thing! 
> 
> Much love,  
> -Cass


	18. Stronger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some things that mentioned in this chapter are not mine, you can find full credit in the end notes below. *thumbs up* Go check those fucking awesome people out!

            “And piercings! And a tattoo! Holy shit you’re so buff!” She exclaimed each, going up to him to poke at his muscles and examine his tattoo, talking excitedly about the new curves and colors that it came with. She felt so real. Dirk stared at her, completely unable to process her being there. It just wouldn’t connect for some reason to see her in a prison cell like this. Perhaps he had just been so damn convinced that he’d never see her again. “Roxy?” He choked and she blinked at him, stopping her babble immediately. Seeing tears well up behind his glasses, she straightened up to ask him if he was alright. He didn’t know why he was suddenly crying- maybe seeing someone who he knew actually cared about him, or maybe knowing that he could see her again when Jake was the only one who had come the last time. He had tears coming down his cheeks, her smile had dropped, worry going across her features. “Oh Dirk…” She whispered taking off his glasses and he shut his eyes. “Oh sweetie…” Dirk sniffed as she hugged him tightly, “Deep breaths, Dirky, I’m here.” She dragged him by the waist over the bed and ducked, “Jesus, how do you sleep underneath this thing being so tall.” Roxy sighed sitting down and looking over at him, “Why are you so upset? I know this place is totally drab but just try to see the good in it. The orange is at least your favorite color!” She rubbed his shoulder and he pushed his thumb and pointer finger into his eyes.

            “I-I don’t know.” Dirk lamented and Roxy brushed her fingers through his hair. “It’s alright to not know.” She smiled, looking around the room and getting up. “I bet with a few paints you could totally liv’in the place up!” Roxy twirled around the room, skirt flying out and Dirk put his glasses back on that lay abandoned on the bed. “I bet you’re happy to see me is all. I know my presence just inspires men to break into tears and denizens to scream! By the way, that rap you had in the cafeteria was absolutely wicked!” She hopped around grinning from ear to ear. Dirk finally broke into a smile seeing her trying so hard to make him do so; it seemed so long ago that he was rapping in the cafeteria. “How are you here, another hallucination?” Roxy frowned and dropped her hands with a sigh, her eyes down casted as she did so. “Yeah… Nothing gets past you does it.” She whispered and tried to smile again, “But hey, at least you know I’m here for you. Even in the brain ghost since.” She nodded and went to sit with him again, “And I’m not going anywhere until you get over this hump!”

            “Depression and PTSD doesn’t work like that, Roxy.” He sighed softly, looking at his hands that were clasped between his knees. Her hand, nails painted their usual black, snaked into one of his. “I know that… neither does alcohol addiction and yet, someone stayed with me all those nights I was worshipping the porcelain god. All of you did. Jane, Jake, and you… I’ll never forget who held my hair back.” His face turned toward her and she squeezed his hand. “I’m here for you. And I won’t leave until you’ve gotten over this stage, okay? That’s what I’m actually here for.” Dirk frowned, “Stage?” Roxy rolled her eyes, “I’m not supposed to tell you, but you’re manifesting each one of us for a reason… I mean it’s not like it’s going to make everything okay afterward and you’ve still got a long way to go. But this is your big fantastic brain helping you work through things.” She grinned, “You are so cool, Dirk.” She laid back and grunted, “This is so uncomfortable! How do you even sleep on this thing?!” He leaned back as well and shut his eyes instead of staring up at the names. “Who are these people?” Dirk reopened his eyes to see Roxy’s fingers on a few of them. “People before me.”

            “Oh… What do you think they were like?” She asked curiously, tracing them and took out a knife from her boot. It seemed so real, and his mind told him he was probably doing it with a sharp object but instead he was hallucinating her doing it instead. He didn’t ask what she was doing, seeing her trace one name that was almost faded completely into the metal better. “Probably murderers and rapists…” Dirk said seriously, “Thieves, abusers, liars… People like me.” He whispered. Roxy turned her head to look at him. “Dirk Martha Davison Strider,” She began turning her body to snuggle up to him, just like they did on the couch at home, “Don’t think for one single moment that you’re a murderer, rapist, thief, abuser or a liar.” She gripped his chin, “You’re my brother, my best friend along with Jane and Jake, and one of the few people I trust in my life…” The woman shook her head, her albino skin in such a contrast with his now sun-kissed skin. Dirk shook his head, “I killed her… I’ve killed others in the Game. I was the Prince of Heart… I murdered for the fun of it. I practically raped Jake the first time. I’ve stolen more than just trinkets but souls out of people, I was abusive to my friends and my relationships… and I’ve most certainly lied. I’ve been lying all my life. I’d… be better off not being around.” He breathed and Roxy’s eyes tightened a little in worry. “Dirk, I know what you’re thinking and dying won’t fix any of that.”

            “But it would make it so much easier to live with.” He answered, lips barely parting as he said it. “I talked with Gamzee today. She’s back and she’s going to kill us all. I had this plan in my head that I was going to defeat her and save everyone before killing myself and now I’m just so scared I can’t even move. I’m not brave… I’m not my brother… I’m not Jake.” He whispered, shaking his head as Roxy let go of his chin, “I remember when I could ride a hover board without blinking and shove my sword so far down a skeleton’s throat I wouldn’t even blink and now…” Roxy nodded silently as he spoke, “I don’t know why I’m so scared.” Dirk finished, rubbing his eyes underneath his glasses. “It’s because you have so much to lose now and you’re scared of it.” Dirk sighed, “How do I have more to lose now than before?”

Roxy shrugged, “We have no idea what’s coming for us, Dirk. Sure we’re seeing weird things but we’re so deep in a mess that we’ve totally gone inside ourselves. I can tell you for certain I’ve picked up a bottle again.” She sighed, “And Jake is looking at his gun for too much to be healthy and Jane is trying so hard to hold our pieces together and between missing her best friend... no one is thinking about a threat that is coming.” She whispered. “Dirk, I wish you could see what I see in you… how much you held us together as much as I, or Jane, or Jake do. We only made it out of the Game because we were a team… we’re family, Dirk.” She squeezed his hand, “And we need you, Dirk.”

            Whatever she said in that moment caused him to take a deep breath and open his eyes again. “Okay.” He said softly, “Alright.” Dirk sat up. The fear in his heart that had almost made him freeze still completely was slowly dissipating. Roxy sat up with him rested her chin on his shoulder, looking up at him. “You’ve got that look on your face.” Dirk raised an eyebrow, looking at his hands again, “What’s that?” The girl with the faint pink hair stood up, smiling at him. “Like you’re determined.” Dirk stood as well before shrugging, “Strangely you’re not the first one to tell me that.” Roxy goosed him in the arm, “Go get them, tiger.”

            He walked out of the cell, knowing there was still some time before lock-down to get to Kar. Regardless, his steps were extremely quickly through the halls, only slowing down for the rare guard walking past him. He paused long enough at an intersection to review the time and what schedule Kar seemed to keep. He turned toward the right; the rec yard was definitely where he was at the moment. He passed a few inmates that dipped their heads to him respectfully.

            Suddenly he saw something completely different than the hallway in front of him; a hallway lined with heads of trolls. Blood of all colors dripped down into the floor and he kept walking ahead of him. He could feel the pressure in the air- something terrible and evil. His eyes locked forward as the head’s eyes followed him as he walked. All blood castes were there and as soon as he got to the large door and pushed it, the hallucination was over and he was in the rec yard. He stopped to look back to see the doors shut on a normal hallway. The hallucinations were worse it seemed when he came into contact with things that… He frowned, how exactly was he picturing things that he’d never dealt with before? Some things he knew about and had lived… others he seemed to just pick up visions. Was that because he was the Prince of Heart and he was seeing visions of other people’s memories? He shook the scent of blood from his nostrils and took an intake of fresh air deep in his lungs.

            He found Kar where he would usually watch Evert, only this time he was alone. He stepped beside him, leaning up against the wall of the building like he was just joining him for a moment. Dirk made a mental tally mark in his head for each minute that passed by. At about fifteen marks, he decided it was a reasonable amount of time to make his request. “You can get into the records room, right?” Kar paused, before looking up at him, cigarette between his fingers. “Yeah, what’s it to you?” His eyes were narrowed up at the blond; the sun was very bright today in a cloudless sky. “I want to see something. On the cameras… something that will help… keep me sane.” He added a bit of strain to his voice for effect and Kar pursed his lips a little. His eyes glanced at the spot where Evert would normally be working out, but was oddly vacant before shrugging. “Fuck it, not like I have anything better to do.” He tossed the cigarette he was nursing down and stomped it out before walking back toward their building.

            Dirk followed behind him as Kar walked around the same hallways that went in a circle three times before asking what the ever loving hell they were doing. “Making sure the coast is clear, moron.” He growled at him, maneuvering to look around the hall where a guard still was. On cue, the guard looked at his watch and started walking the other direction. Dirk raised an eyebrow, “I thought you were the records keeper…” Kar nodded, “I am. I could have walked up to that prick and been let in, but with you behind me? The one the Warden hates?” Dirk sighed, understanding immediately. “Let’s go before he gets back then.” He followed Kar quickly toward the door that he pulled a key from around his neck and unlocked the door before replacing it. Dirk’s eyes lingered on it. It had barely registered when they had had sex that he was wearing a necklace… Now he knew where to get a key to the records room.

            It wasn’t a very large room surprisingly. The guards break room had been bigger where he and Evert had stolen the food storage from. On the other side of the room’s entrance there was a wall of monitors and a fully operational keyboard. On his right was wall to wall filing cabinets; they all looked like old morgue doors honestly. Some were almost too full to completely close. And finally on his left were supplies and prisoner’s belongings on a steel shelf. When being led by Kar to the middle of the room he could see his name in the ‘S’ section with several others. “So why did you want to come in here?” Kar finally asked him, arms crossed. Dirk licked his lips, looking around to each place. He could do so much in this room… The blond glanced at the files- wondering what he could use, what information he could get- For an entire moment he was a kid in a candy shop.

            But his heart settled on one thing… something that he’d been bothering him since before he was sent to solitary. “I want to see the visiting area the date I was sent to solitary.” Kar blinked, looking surprised. He went over to the computer without another word and sat in the chair. It was an old monitor, but the surveillance systems were new. “Why isn’t there a guard here watching the cameras?” Kar snorted at Dirk’s question. “Because this is just the records room. There is a security nerve center near the higher secured cells. This was revamped into a records room I came here. Most of this shit doesn’t work. I just turned it on because record marking gets boring as fuck and I need something to listen to besides my own shitty blood pounding in my ears.” He tapped a few keys and a picture appeared with the date and time stamped at the bottom of the screen.

            Dirk pulled up a chair beside him and watched. Kar tapped his fingers watching the screen and sighed softly, “About… last night.” The blond turned his head slightly toward him, to show that he was listening. “What was all that about…” Kar muttered, pressing the fast forward button when it started out at 4 in the morning showing some of the guards coming in for their shift. Dirk rested his elbows on the desk and laced his fingers under his nose. “Blowing off steam mostly.” The blonde knew he had to keep him wrapped his finger, and preferably naked to get those keys around his neck. These systems were perfectly capable of allowing him to set off alarms and open doors- Kar just simply didn’t know how to work them and didn’t have a reason specifically to learn how, either. Granted, neither did he on the first part, but honestly how hard could it be? “I think we both enjoyed it. And since neither of us are exactly hunting for a husband, I think settling for some sort of comfort in this hell is good.” He glanced at the other, knowing he was lacing his lies with so much truth he was starting to wonder if he was actually lying just then.

            Kar looked up at him with narrowed eyes before nodding, “Yeah… I agree.” Dirk smiled at the other and went to say something before the tape that had been rewinding landed on his three friends. Dirk hit the stop button for him and stared at it for a moment. They really had come… They had come for him. Dirk swallowed, “Does this have audio?” Kar shrugged, “I don’t know.” Dirk rewound it back to the start and unfortunately it didn’t have audio. His throat tightened watching the scene unfold.

            Jake had walked up to the Warden who had his hands clasped behind his back. His finger was in his face, red in his cheeks and bags under his eyes. He looked… almost sick. Dirk felt the uneasiness stir inside his gut as he, Jane and Roxy come up behind him. He could only see their faces but he could tell the exact moment that the Warden told them that he was dead. Roxy was the first to go at the Warden, screaming her head off. All the other visitors had turned to watch them, Jane had been quick enough to hold her back and he could see Jake’s face. He looked… so broken. His phone was in his hand, and there was a threat stated and the Warden took away his phone and smashed it, leering at them. Jake took the swing that Roxy didn’t get to make and the Warden hit him hard enough to knock him down much to the distress of everyone in the room except the guards.

            Dirk had no idea that he had sprung up beside Kar and was snarling. Jane was yelling as Roxy was crying. Jake was on the floor, smashed phone beside him. Jake had always tried to issue some restraint when someone hurt him or went to hurt him, but this time he stood back up and started an all-out brawl with the Warden only to be dragged out by guards into the parking lot on another camera.

            He stared at the camera footage in a mixture of hatred, disbelief and relief. They hadn’t left him… they hadn’t abandoned him. The Warden had done this to him. Before Kar had anything to say about it, Dirk was out of the door and headed toward the Warden’s office. He had grabbed a pool stick from the indoor rec room- the piece of shit that it was- and went straight up to him in the middle of the damn cell block where he was brow beating another new inmate who looked scared out of his wits for a thirty-something-year old man. The Warden started to reach for his tazer catching sight of the blond when Dirk smacked him hard enough with the larger end of the stick he knocked him down. Dirk had no feelings then, it was just one thought. Murder.

            He snapped the pool stick with the force of the hits and started to beat him to death, only being stopped by a firm grip around his wrist. He looked up to see Mindfang holding him firm, the guards were rushing toward them and he snarled at her. “Let go of me.” Her blue eyes stared into his and she shook her head, “You should know better than to indulge in revenge.” She hissed as the guards trained guns on him, “And you should know better than to grab me when I’m pissed off!” He growled back and Mindfang didn’t let him go, “There are more things you should be worried about than what happens to him!” She glanced at the Warden and Dirk narrowed his eyes at her, deciding suddenly to awaken her like he seemed to do to all the others, “This will happen one way or another. You know who you are, don’t you Mindfang?”

            Her eyes widened and she let go, stepping away from him with shock clear on her features. The guards went to shoot and she stopped them, telling them to put him in solitary. Kar stood off to the side with the crowd that was watching with fear in his eyes. They dragged him off to solitary without much of a fight as Dualscar continued to bleed freely from his now gaping eye wound and new scars. He should have been called ‘Five-Scar’ now from how many new ones Dirk had given him. They threw Dirk into the prison cell and turned the dial on his cell door. He turned to face the darkness and let out a low breath. “That felt good.”

 xXx

            "I think I'm a lesbian." She sighed in the darkness of solitary and Dirk raised one eyebrow, not opening an eye. It had been a few days. "You're about as much of a lesbian as I am." There was a pause before she chuckled out, "On full moons then?" The blond didn't even hesitate to answer, "Full moons and tax holidays, yes." Roxy giggled from where she was beside him. “That’s hilarious, Dirk. But honestly though… The more and more I think about it I’m starting to think that maybe I am. I used to have a thing for…” She swallowed and looked away and he finished for her, “Calliope.” He murmured softly and she couldn’t help but nod. He heard the movement more than he saw it. “And none of my relationships just seem to last.  I mean I don’t feel like I need to kidnap Jane for some lov’in but like…” She sighed, “I’m so confused.” Dirk leaned his head back against the concrete, “Tell me about it.”

            There was pause between them and Roxy sighed, “You know when I said that you should go get them, I didn’t mean literally right?” Dirk nodded, “I know. But I wanted to beat that bastard’s face in. He hurt Jake… he hurt you and Jane.” He growled, “And I should have done worse. I could have done so much more to free the people here if I just killed him.” Roxy sighed and kissed his temple, “And hurt a lot more in the long run.” Dirk didn’t answer her and Roxy stood, walking in front of him.

            "Villains are born from the excess of good intentions, Dirk. They took their ideologies too far.” Roxy whispered, “Don’t let yourself get lost in that, Dirk. For me… at least.” She was starting to back away from him and his head raised. He frowned, seeing her in the lowlight backing away and felt a little flutter of panic, “Roxy, please don’t go.” He asked her softly and Roxy gave a small smile, “You’re not going to be alone in this, Dirk.” He stood before coming toward her, looking into her pink eyes, searching them. She cocked her head to the side as he looked at her; she let him pull her into a gentle hug. “I’m sorry, Roxy… You know I’d do anything to change this… to make it so the game never came back… we never went to that club… I never lived through the game… I never lived past that cage… But I’m going to try so damn hard to make it better.”

             Roxy buried her face in his neck, “You never have to say sorry, Dirk. We love and care about you so much. You don’t have to ask for anything… you already have it.” She whispered to him, pecking him on the cheek. “Come back to us, Dirk.” She gave him another sad smile, “I can’t lose my bro…” Dirk swallowed, tears in his eyes that felt like they burned. He watched Roxy step back again before whispering, “Bargaining.” Before turning on her heel to walk into door and disappear. The entire experience made him want to crawl into his sendificator (if he had one) like he had once tried in an effort of loneliness as a child. Outside, he heard the door lock switch to zero. His brows furrowed and a guard opened the door to let the light stream in. “Time out is over, you sick fuck. Acting Warden’s orders.” He walked out and glanced at Gabriel’s own dial. He’d be out soon. That was both comforting and frightening to think about.

xXx

            He didn’t expect Kar to be pacing in their cell when he got back. Dirk paused, knocking on the bars softly. It was near nightfall again since it had been close to that time when he was locked in. “You’re going to make a hole in the floor.” He commented with a lopsided smile. Kar stopped, leg still extended for another step. Dirk raised his eyebrow as Kar seemed to immediately go from thoughtful to extremely angry. He nearly backed up as the smaller let out a scream, “You FUCKING moron!” He went up to him, finger in his face. “Do you have any idea how fucking stupid that was, you dehabilited think-pan gel using pain in the- the-!” He spluttered, not able to form words suddenly he was too mad.

            Dirk chuckled, “Wow, someone’s angry.” He smiled, “I’m fine by the way, how are you?” Kar stared at him, having an absolute conniption. "I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH!" There was a pause, "WITH MY MOUTH." Dirk's eyebrows rose, "Softly." He added and then put a hand in front of his mouth to hide his smirk. "Because I missed you." Kar now was blushing full force. He closed the distance between them and kissed Dirk full on the mouth, hitting him not too gently on the chest. “You moron, you know how fucking worried I was when they put those guns on you? I’ve seen too many people die that way.” He muttered and Dirk felt his heart skip a beat for a moment. His mind told him he had gone too deep… but his heart just felt like it had just started beating again… and he didn’t want it to stop. “Don’t worry, I’ve got a lot of lives.” He smirked and pressed a kiss to his lips again as the door shut behind him.

xXx

            _He could see a statue in the middle of a square where he was standing. The statue towered into the sky above him, maybe twenty or thirty feet. It was his brother, his face hooded by his knight god-tier uniform. Dirk narrowed his eyes at it, seeing that the face only showed the frown and bottom of his chin. His hands were holding up mid-chest height two gears that looked like turn tables. Underneath something poured- it was stone- but it looked and bubbled around the statue of his brother like lava. Dirk stepped toward it, seeing the gear on his chest with a clock on the city. It was counting down to something. "Knight of Time, I get it! What are you trying to say to me?!" He asked the statue who didn't provide any answers in return. Dirk felt he had more free will for a moment and turned, seeing an infant version of his brother. The pale skin and red eyes tearing up, he was holding a version of Cal. The toddler started to cry, calling out for him, the red eyes looking around wildly as black birds circled him like vultures. Dirk didn't need to think before he was moving, reaching out to his brother before flames burst from the ground around him, cutting him off. A figure was there between him and his brother almost as large as the statue; the woman with the trident. He looked around trying to find a way around her, knowing his brother was in danger. He saw more figures around him as his head turned. Wind picked up and he covered his eyes from the glare of the flames and the sound going past his ears. A giant with curvy horns and purple outlining some of his outfit, he was holding a giant club. On the other side was a man with scars on his face just as giant as the others, a gun was trained on him. He turned completely around to see his brother's statue replaced by a green monster. So large he towered over the others and had eyes that flicker colors and numbers. Dirk nearly fell backwards, seeing Lord English towering over him. His maw opened and a roar came out, chilling the blond to his core. "HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO OUTRUN ME, WHEN I’M ALREADY HERE?"_

           He woke up gasping for breath, eyes wide. This time Kar woke up beside him, grunting as Dirk got out of bed and paced the floor. The blonde’s nails were scraping at his skin while he muttered to himself. He was breathing hard- almost hyperventilating. “Already here- Already here-?!” He whispered, panicking, “No no no…” Dirk moaned and Kar slowly slipped from the bed, letting the blanket pool half on the bed and half on the floor. Few had seen the Prince like this. Kar had heard the late night crying and the conversations he had with himself after solitary by this point. He watched him pace, the blond having no idea that Kar was watching him with concern in his eyes. The shorter stood and rested a gentle hand on his chest as he stopped to put his head in his hands. Kar let out a low breath as he let him touch him and he whispered softly to him, “Come back to bed.” It was the softest whisper that Dirk, half caught in a nightmare, had ever heard. He nodded, a jerking movement, and Dirk let the other guide him down onto the bed where they were. Kar joined him, closer to the wall. He crawled up the bed and looked over the other, resting his chin on his chest.

            Fingers came out to trace the scars underneath his fingertips. “What was this one about?” Kar asked softly, surprisingly gentle when they were alone like this. He forgot about the momentary anger he usually had in his voice and was solely concerned with the man with orange eyes underneath of him. The said man had an arm over his eyes as his heart still beat rapidly underneath Kar’s fingertips. The Prince had terrible night terrors- some so bad that Kar wasn’t sure if he’d wake up from them sometimes. Kar pressed a kiss to his chest where a long scar ran down his torso. “You can tell me… I won’t tell anyone.” He breathed and the blond swallowed, “I see flames… always flames. I burnt that place down to the ground and yet all I see is fire. It’s taking everything from me- fucking everything.” His teeth gritted and Kar reached up a hand to cup his chin. “One day it has to get better. I know it doesn’t sound like it, butit’ll get better for all of us one day.” Kar told him and Dirk dropped the arm covering his eyes. There was such a deep frown on his face when Kar said those words. Dirk shook his head, looking away from him, “That sounds too much like a fairy tale to me to be true. Even if it was, there are too many dragons around… too much to fight against.”

            Kar sighed, brushing his fingers over his cheek. "Fairy tales are more than true." He breathed, "Not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons be beaten." Kar whispered to him, pressing a gently kiss to his collar bone. “Go back to sleep. I’ll fight off the dragons for a bit. But you bet your ass you’re taking that job back in the morning.” Dirk smiled a little and ran his fingers through the other’s hair, “Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your love in the comments, it really helped me keep going with the story. I have a horrifying bad habit of dropping stories that I hit a road bump in (a.k.a writers block) and never picking them up again. I do love reading comments and I'm more than happy to listen to what you want to see in the story. :3 Speaking of which, I'm in the market for a new beta reader. I'm not sure really what happened to my old one... o-o I think I scared her away. If you're interested send me a message on Tumblr (which you can see the link on my profile).  
> For news on the story, I've decided to add a new character into the story, maybe even two... Of course, you probably caught their reference. ;)
> 
> Now for the credits!  
> Karkat: I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE. WITH MY MOUTH. Softly... because I like you.  
> http://neorize.tumblr.com/post/50999782484 - She's absolutely fantastic! Her version of Karkat is absolutely cute. <3
> 
> The Nightmare Statue of David Strider  
> http://weheartit.com/entry/103764377/in-set/37904793-dave-strider?context_user=MachiokiAki - I'm not sure if she's the original artist but she was the only one who came up on the google search. If she isn't or is, tell me in the credits!
> 
> Roxy: I think I'm a lesbian... [Scene]  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9IX-CEJ5uY - The dubbed version on youtube and the original comic link is in their description. :3


	19. Storm

            _“Come on, bro! You’re so slow!” A little boy called laughing. He blinked his eyes slowly open, feeling happiness settle over him. On impulse he called out, “I’m coming.” Dirk sat up from where he was on the couch, smiling at the little white haired boy with sunglasses like his. The child was trying to tie his shoes and Dirk bent down to show him how to tie his shoes again._

He didn’t… know this memory. But he didn’t care. It was peaceful… no fire, or scent of dead bodies. No worries… just… peace.

_He smiled at the little boy, who grinned up at him. “Are you sure we can go to the park today? With your job? Can we, can we?” Dirk nodded, “Of course, little man. I’ve got all day to spend with no one but you.” He watched the child almost run out the door with the biggest smile he’d seen in a while. Dirk followed behind him, locking the door behind them, walking close by. It was Winter… steam forming on the end of his breath as he kept a watchful eye on the child. “Be careful of traffic, look both ways.” He reminded when he came to an intersection- Dirk immediately caught up with his significantly longer legs. The boy waited, going back and forth on his heels to his toes happily before they were allowed to cross. The park wasn’t too far away. He immediately went to the swings with a shout of glee. “Can you push me, please?”_

_Dirk hadn’t dropped his smile. This place was peaceful… this place was calm… Was this heaven? He hoped so._

_He started forward before he stopped, turning his gaze upward. Above him he heard cawing and his orange eyes saw thousands of black crows. His breath caught in his throat. He didn’t know why he feared them but he did- something about seeing them circling them… almost like vultures. His eyes went back down to look for the little boy. “Dave?!” He shouted, not seeing him. Dirk’s eyes dilated, “DAVID?!” He screamed and felt a tug on his pants and looked down, seeing the boy hiding behind one of his legs. He scooped him up, “Thank god, where did you go?!” Dave’s eyes were on the crows, and filling with tears. “Bro…” He pointed upward and Dirk looked upward to see a pair of giant wings. It was huge and roughly human shaped with a large head and rows of glinting teeth. He knew that outline; he knew what it meant and he felt pain in the center of his chest. He scooped David up into his arms protectively, who was now crying and clutching onto him. “Don’t worry, little man. I’m here.” He whispered, “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” He looked back up at the figure to see a pair of pink blazing eyes had replaced them. Dirk stared back defiantly, but felt the weight in his arms change._  
   
            His eyes went downward again, thinking he was going to see Dave. He saw instead Jenna’s dead baby in his arms. Deformed and gasping for breath like it had in the cell. He was horrified… so horrified he couldn’t even process before there was a whisper in his ear. Nathanial’s voice and a weight of a hand on his shoulder, he felt his heart nearly stop. “The smallest coffins are the heaviest, aren’t they?”

_xXx_

            _“It’s our fiftieth, table for one.”_

 Dirk drew a line across the sentence in the folder in front of him with narrowed eyes. “Who said that one?” The blond glanced up at Kar, who was chewing on the end of his pen while he read through another folder in his hand.

            “Cortney O’Brien.” He answered with a mumble; Dirk paused in thought to come up with another ‘shorter than ten words story’. It was a game that Kar had come up with while they did paperwork together.

_“Jumped. Then changed my mind.”_

            Kar hummed, _“_ Good one… _One bullet is a life time supply.”_ Dirk nodded his approval, moving one of the folders he was reading into the stack of finished ones.

            _“Strangers. Friends. Best friends. Lovers. Strangers.”_ Dirk quoted and Kar whistled, “Damn.” Dirk was the one to hum his acknowledgement this time. It was a depressing game, but something to pass the time. After the events of a few days ago, they had been together quite a bit while Evert seemed to be avoiding them like the plague. Kar had offered the chance to go into the records room again to help him with paperwork. It was the closest thing they got to a date he supposed. With that thought he marked another line through a piece of a sentence. There was a hell of a lot of ‘iffy’ evidence in all of these files, but he knew better than to comment on that with Kar.

            “I can’t think of any more.” Dirk said, glancing up at Kar who shrugged, “Me neither.” And they lapsed into silence. There was a tension in the air that Dirk didn’t really know how to ease, and thus didn’t try. In the long run though, it wasn’t him who broke it. Supposedly if one were to stay silent for twenty seconds, the other person would talk. Roxy had told him that once after reading a psychology book of some sort. Kar glanced up at him awkwardly, “Evert told me something yesterday.” The blond hummed again, this time with a tone of curiosity to it, “He needed better grade milk?” There was a brief smile on Kar’s face that actually made him look very handsome, though that part of his thoughts went unsaid. “Surprisingly, no. He said you were planning a jail break. And told me that I should convince you not to do it through sex or drugs.” Dirk stopped mid-stroke of his pen. “That’s… harsh.” Kar shrugged, not looking up from his own file. “I told him to fuck off.” The blond didn’t resume, “Why’s that?”

            Kar looked up at him finally, “Because if you’re doing something crazy, you’re doing it with or without me trying to stop it. And I’m not going to drug your ass. You should know if you try a jailbreak you’re going to die.” He frowned then glanced up at hima, “And I hope you’re not fucking doing it.” Dirk didn’t answer and Kar shook his head, “Damn. I had a feeling.” Dirk thought about what he was going to say. He had the shipment of poster boards and markers coming in tomorrow. Everything planned perfectly. He didn’t need Kar getting in the way but he needed him on his side too. At least until he got what he wanted. Dirk put on a smile, “Don’t worry. Evert doesn’t know everything. I’m not planning a prison break.” Not exactly.  
  
            Kar frowned at him, “You’re a shit liar.” He whispered and shrugged, “None of my business, just don’t expect me to get my ass shot for you.” Dirk dropped the smile, “Of course not, you don’t have a part to play in anything.” Kar frowned, “What- like I couldn’t handle it?” Dirk let a smile curve for a moment before dropping his hand that was guarding his mouth before shrugging himself, “No. But you never offered to help either, and you clearly just said you wouldn’t.”

            Kar opened his mouth and then shut it, going back to his file angrily. Dirk smirked, standing up from his chair to go around the side of the makeshift desk. He suddenly had an idea of how to get exactly what he needed from Kar. Kar tried to ignore him as Dirk sat on his side, on the very edge of the table. “Upset with me now?” He asked softly and the other didn’t answer, brow furrowing harder as Dirk brought up a hand to turn his chin toward him. “You can’t be that way for long.” He whispered to him as he placed a kiss on his lips. Kar immediately melted in his grasp, just as Dirk expected he would. “Let’s take this back to our bed, shall we?” Kar made a half rebuttal that they weren’t done and he snorted, “Me or paperwork?” Kar flicked off the paperwork with a gesture of his hand as Dirk led him up by his chin. “Come on.” He breathed and Kar immediately nodded.

xXx

            The kisses were too sensual.

            There was too much passion in the other's movements. He didn't know why that disturbed him so damn much. It was sweet, open... caring. This was supposed to be letting off steam- getting information or the damn key- this wasn't supposed to have meaning. He kept telling himself that. He didn’t want this… he couldn’t _handle_ this.

            Then why did he care so much if it was all supposed to be for show? The light from the moon streamed through the window and highlighted across Dirk's hips. The shadows gave him just a little mystery. "What's your name?" Kar suddenly whispered from where he was, pressing a kiss to the blond’s chest. Dirk blinked slowly at him, his answer was guarded and careful. "You know it." Kar looked up at him from where he was laying on his chest, mostly naked and sedated from their first round together, "Yeah... but I want you to tell me. I want to know your name... not Prince or 413...." His voice was so soft that Dirk could barely hear him.

            There was a pause before he leaned down to kiss his lips. "Dirk." He traced the name on Kar's lips and it drew a soft groan of satisfaction from the other. "Dirk Strider." The blond repeated and Kar sighed, "Thank you..."

            And they were on each other again. It was clear that this time wasn't like the first. The first had been rough, half-clothed and pressed against each other as if the only way to breathe air was via the other's lips. This time was far different though. Kar looked up at Dirk with wide eyes, breath coming a little fast. They were naked and Dirk had him gently in his hands, one leg over his shoulder, the other wrapped around Dirk's waist. Kar's lips worried into his lip as Dirk hiked up one leg and the other stayed grounded, giving him perfect control over the force of the thrusts. Dirk told himself he'd figure it out later. There was little speech, just the moan that Kar let out when Dirk moved slowly as he could. Kar’s head fell back and his toes curled- he hadn't felt this way since... since...

            Dirk stroked the inside of him again and he let out another soft cry. His fist reached beside him to grip the sheeting they were on top of. Dirk moved a little faster and stroked Kar's pelvis, not touching him just yet. Dirk pressed his lips against the other's chest and Kar let out a ragged cry as he hit his prostate. "Dirk!" Kar gasped, not realizing that he was trying to cover his own mouth. Dirk blinked up at him in surprise, a flush spreading across his cheeks. He had been surprised the other reacted so well to him moving slowly- but apparently he was doing everything right. Dirk rolled his hips and Kar whimpered, long and drawn out before he realized how hard Kar was trying to hold back. "Let it go, love... I wanna make you feel good...” It didn’t take long before Kar was going over the edge and Dirk went over with him. They kissed each other’s sweat sleek skin, breathing hard in the afterglow. Neither of them spoke- Neither of them wanted to. They knew they had crossed a line this time.

xXx

            He woke up before Kar did this time. Just as he had planned. But as he lay there, he stared at the other sleeping softly beside him. The key to the records room was hanging around his neck, and the metal was arm to the touch. Dirk looked over his features silently, orange eyes tracing each curve, blemish, and smooth span of skin… Kar was handsome. If perhaps Dirk was another person, from another time and another place; he could see him actually falling in love with Kar. Dirk had come to terms, sometime in the middle of their night together, that he loved Kar in a way. But it was a different love than what he felt for those in his past. Jake had really ever been the only one he felt actual romantic feelings for. Though with Kar the feelings were different; confused, almost. And he assumed it was because of how he started their relationship. He built it on a need to use and manipulate, and not a desire for companionship. Though Kar seemed to fill that hole quite well. It made sense to him that he was going to put a nail in the coffin with the act of taking Kar’s key away. Or rather, make a copy of the key with the supplies he’d stolen from strange cross-dressing guard who had the better make-up supplies than Roxy did.

            It wasn’t as hard as one would think to make a copy of a key. As long as you had something that would hold a shape, then force it to mold into the right shape… hell, you could do anything if you had the right tools. Dirk had access to the ‘shop rooms’ in the prison, as shitty as they were, there was one in particular that was an old workshop. A place that was incredibly easy for him to make a copy of Kar’s key. The hard part was getting the chance to use it. He had to distribute the supplies that were coming in today. Tomorrow they would launch their protest. He had to turn off the security systems and he needed to escape his cell for that. He had so many, many irons in the fires.

            But this wasn’t his first rodeo. Dirk drew breath slowly as he reached beside him, took out his stolen goods and gently made a copy of Kar’s key. The other didn’t even stir as he finished and set the container back into his own clothing. Kar muttered in his sleep after Dirk had pushed a bit of hair out of his face. “Gabe…” He nuzzled Dirk’s hand a little bit and the blonde’s hand froze. He frowned a little as Kar started to softly snore. Of course, he had figured there had been something between those two. It was either Kar and Solomon or Kar and Gabriel. Dirk sighed softly, running his fingers through his hair.

He knew had to break it off with Kar.

            This wasn’t the first time he had thought that. But now it seemed more important than ever. He felt something for Kar, and though he had planned out everything, he didn’t want him getting hurt. Dirk already had enough death on his hands to be responsible for one of the few friends he had in this hell hole of a prison. He took in a deep breath, knowing that it would probably hurt Kar more than it would hurt him. He _had_ gotten what he needed from him.

            But there was also another part of him that told him how much easier it could be if he just stayed dead to the outside world. He would continue to be with Kar, maybe even fall into a romantic love with him, until the day the Earth flooded and everything died. Him along with it. The image of his brother, toddler in his arms, crying out in fear pointing towards the nightmare filled sky made that train of thought vanish before he could finish it completely. If anyone deserved better, it would be Dave. A button was hit and the cell doors opened up to the prison. Dirk stood, slipped on his clothing and walked out to explore a bit more of the grounds. The bell rang for breakfast and he drew in a deep breath. He’d break things off with Kar sometime after lunch.

 xXx

            He had the key in hand from the sleeping library guard. His eyes were narrowed at it in his hand. This would get him out of the jail cell to release the prisoner cells after he shut off the security system from the old records room and called his friends to get the media lined up. After that- he’d gave them an hour, if not two at the most to have the security run around. Gabriel would cause one hell of a stir- which was where he was going now- and then everything would fall into place. He had stopped by the kitchen earlier to see that everything they needed was set up and carefully hidden in the meat storage area. He had carefully planned everything that he needed. Everything had a place. Dirk let out a low breath as he came up to Gabriel’s cell in the different wing of the prison. The crazed troll didn’t look at him; just sat on the bed and rocked carefully back and forth, muttering about miracles and eyes. “How you doing, Gamzee?”

            Gabriel’s head snapped towards him and Dirk paused, almost taking a step back. The man got up and walked toward him. “The fire…” He murmured and Dirk frowned at him, “What fire?” Gabriel shut his mouth and he earned a very distant look on his face. “Do you want me to start a fire?” Dirk blinked a few times, “No. I don’t… I want you to distract the guards like we planned. Remember?” Gabriel slowly nodded, a vacant expression on his features as he went to sit back down. “Gamzee.” Dirk called again for no answer, then again to have purple eyes fix on him through the morning light. “I can count on you, right?” The once troll nodded before turning his head back towards the wall, staring into it and swaying back and forth like he was listening to music. Dirk shook his head a little, wondering if Evert had more of a point than he gave him credit for. He knew Gabriel, Gamzee, whatever he called himself, was unstable… but he had hoped he wasn’t this far gone.

            He walked away, watching the different prisoners bow or nod to him respectfully. He had such a following here for doing virtually nothing at all. Sure, he put fear into their hearts just as much as respect… but surely it wasn’t something that would cause ‘real’ loyalty. None of them would run through the flames to rescue him of a madman’s home. None of them would pick him up from a drunken stupor to take him to bed. None of them would hug him and offer him an orange cake when he was in a low point. None of them were real. Just ghosts, moving around the same space as him. Dirk didn’t realize that he had suddenly had such separation from the others and himself. Like he was the one invading this space- a space where he didn’t belong but was a comet passing through. He shook his head; he was starting to sound like Gamzee after a dive into the goop he slept in.

            Dirk found himself back with Kar before long. He’d made his spare key in the shop area, and kept it safely hidden where only he could find it with the guards key beside it. They were in their cell together. Kar had a book open in front of him. It surprised him how much Kar actually did read. If he wasn’t swearing at someone, making-out with him, or one of his needed body functions like sleeping and eating; the man had a book in his face. Not that he found the other stupid, but Karkat had never seemed the type to be patient enough to bother reading anything. He wondered if that had come with age, since the Karkat he had met in the game had only been seven sweeps, which eventually they had figured out that meant roughly around sixteen years old. The Kar was leaning up against the wall their bunk was against looked in his late teens, if not early twenties. They had spent a while in the game, long enough for all of them to age. With how old he was entering the game and what he and Jake had figured their ages to be later on, Kar would have been around twenty-three, give or take a few years.

            That bothered him. Though there were a lot of things that bothered him about Kar lately. One of them being that they were together still; he had used Kar for what he needed him for… Dirk watched him from behind his shades, eyes narrowed at him. The second thing that bothered him was that Kar was so damn young. Sure, they were around the same age, but… Dirk looked away at that point. He was going on a suicidal mission. Kar would undoubtedly follow him where ever he led the poor bastard. Dirk sighed through his nose slowly, his mind already giving him several answers to what could happen to Kar if he stayed on his leash. And despite how much he told himself that Kar didn’t matter to him as much as some people did; he didn’t want to hurt Kar. He didn’t love him. Well, he did. But not… not like Jake. Or hell, Roxy or Jane either. This was a love he felt very differently about. He couldn’t put a name to it, so he didn’t try. Dirk settled for the same final answer though. Regardless of whatever love it was, he didn’t want Kar hurt. And that’s what people ended up being around him. Hurt. Or worse.

            “Hey.” Kar didn’t change facial expression at all, “If you want any of that, go talk to the horse loving bastard roaming around and being moody.” Dirk frowned, not catching his meaning at first. Ah, another Evert and horses joke. And Jake thought his obsession with RainbowDash was bad. He shrugged, “I’ll brush his tail later. I want to talk to you.” Kar glanced up at him with an arched eyebrow before turning the page with his thumb. “Talk then.” Dirk sighed, “I don’t think we should be a thing anymore.” Kar stopped reading. Dirk watched his eyes as they stared at one word on the page. “Why?” He asked and Dirk licked his lips, “I haven’t told you… but you know what tomorrow is don’t you.” Kar closed the book and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Your fucking suicide mission. Evert told me.” Dirk sighed, “Then you know why. And… I think we’re both kidding ourselves.” Kar looked at him with a frown, “What the fuck do you mean by that?”

            Dirk looked into his eyes with a frown, “We’re not together because we want to be.” Kar opened his mouth and the blond shook his head, “Kar… We’re together because what we want is unavailable… and we need some way to cope with that.” Kar was bristling in front of him; Dirk kept going, needing to put nails in the coffin. “You know about me and Jake… and you and Gabe-.” He was met with a book across the face. He stopped talking as Kar got up, his voice shaking. “I can understand if you don’t want to fuck each other anymore, but don’t go bringing up past shit like that that you don’t FUCKING understand!” Dirk looked at him with a partially split lip, his brow furrowed angrily, “You don’t know a god damn thing about Gabriel.” Kar hissed and shook his head, “Fuck you… Evert was fucking right, you burn every damn bridge you cross with this god damn twisted sense that you have to be robotic and save everything you can! You know why you fuck up all the time?! You keep accepting yourself to not be human!" Kar screamed at him, "You want a suicide mission? Fine! See if I fucking care what happens to you!” He threw the book at the wall and left out of the cell. Dirk’s eyes followed him and he let out a low breath, wiping the blood from his lip. His eyes locked onto the sky outside of the window in the hallway. He supposed he was sleeping alone tonight. Just as well. Tomorrow was his day to turn the prison upside down. Kar was better off far… far, away from that.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kids, this is what we call a bonafide filler chapter to bridge one huge event to another huge event.  
> And now some wise words from a man we all know and probably love.  
> "HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS."  
> -Samuel L. Jackson, Jurassic Park I


	20. 5AM

                It was maybe three or four in the morning when he finally moved again. His orange eyes snapped open to his surroundings, not really having slept at all. The lack of Kar to ground him and the importance of today made him put off his sleeping for now. He couldn’t take the chance of a nightmare ripping him out of a reality more than he already was. Dirk sat up in bed, putting two feet on the cold concrete ground. His eyes stared at his laced fingers in front of him, elbows resting on his knees. He didn’t put on his sunglasses yet. He let the lowlight from what remained of the moon shine on him. He was getting ready for the calm before the storm. Once he announced to the world he was alive again, things were going to get so much more complicated. Dirk breathed out, holding his forehead in his laced fingers for a bit. Was it strange, he wondered, that he knew he was so mentally fragmented? That he was slowly losing himself in his own horror story… and he knew perfectly well he wasn’t going to be able to wake up from it? Didn’t it make sense that instead of basically becoming Gabriel, he was trying to save as many as he could? Wasn’t that the better thing to do? He honestly didn’t have the answer for that. He shoved his pillow under his blanket and used a spare he’d gotten from another inmate right before the doors closed last night to make it look like a body.

                He stood, looking up at Kar who was dead asleep for once. Dirk only waited a few seconds before he went to their little sink in the room and pried open the top cap of the little knob. The ‘R’ came right off and the two keys that were there were pulled into his hand by a string. He returned the lid to the top and peeked his head out as much as he could to look both ways down the hallway to see if there were any guards in the immediate area. A hand reached out between the bars with the key for the cell doors and unlocked it. The door was extremely heavy as he realized when he pushed it opened and then had to shut it as quietly as he could behind him. It made a little clink, but nothing that could attract any attention. He let out a breath, relaxing a bit more as he looked both ways and headed toward the records room. He nearly got caught once, but that was simply having himself flicker out of the way of the flashlight as a guard went around the corner. He let out a pent up breath as the guard left but kept pushing forward. The blond unlocked the door and let himself in, not turning on any lights encase they could be seen from underneath the door outside. He turned on the monitor though, allowing some pale light to flood in that wasn’t bright enough to alert the guards. With a few switches, buttons, and cords rewired, the old security system were operational. Sure, his options were limited. But he could easily disengage the locks on the doors by getting into the _main_ security computer. And all that took was a few simple lines of code between this computer and the one in the nerve center.

                He hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath until he damn near suffocated. Reminding himself to breath, he kept typing the line of code he had been practicing at lunch with an imaginary board in front of him. Eventually he saw the system open up in front of him. It took him a few tries to figure out which button did what until he smirked, allowing Gabriel’s cell to open from where he was. The clown looked up at the camera and gave a simple nod before going his own direction. He locked it behind him to avoid suspicion. He erased the camera footage of them both getting to their respective areas… and then put the system on loop. So if anyone bothered to look at it, they wouldn’t see a damn thing besides guards making their rounds. Dirk grinned at his handy work. He finally set the doors to unlock together. When the guard hit the button to release them later in the morning, he wouldn’t just be unlocking the prisoner cells but the entire prison. It was all the matter of splicing all the currents into one button they pushed every morning. And then he prevented them from stopping the doors from opening, or forcing them to shut. He also put a timer on their microphones with a simple update. They would be about to communicate within the cellblock, but with a simple system update to their computers, he’d shut them down for at least thirty minutes without them being able to do a damn thing. It was absolutely the most perfect plan.

                He looked over everything; finally setting a password to his end. Just in case something happened where they figured out it came from this terminal, they wouldn’t be able to get in. And that’s of course, if they got past the update on their end. Dirk checked the cameras to see Gabriel had made it to the lunch room where he was already starting to rock back and forth. He shook his head a bit, before checking his own route to get the supplies to distribute to the prisoners. A quick print out of the names and dates of people who were either dead, missing or supposed to be released already to hand out with the supplies and he was out of the room. It was easy to avoid the guards, since they stuck to a schedule. So all he had to do was duck or get close to the wall at the right time.

                He entered the lunch room, giving Gabriel a nod in acknowledgement before going into the meat locker with the guard’s key. He took the supplies out and started to pass them into prison cells with a copy of the list he’d printed. They knew what to do from there. The boards and markers would have their name and release dates on them. Then either confirmed ‘dead’ or ‘MIA’ on the bottom. Once the world saw what was going on here, his release would be secured with the rest of the prisoners. It took almost an hour for the supplies to get out. And the guards were none the wiser about what was happening to them. He looked at one of the clocks near the records room and it was just reaching five. It would be time to call the cavalry. He finished writing his and hiding it underneath his bed and made his way to the pay phones. Five in the morning… he knew they weren’t going to really appreciate him calling so early in the morning.

                He dialed the number with shaking fingers. The phone felt too heavy in his hand, his eyes were dilated. Everything in his plan was set up at this point. The two keys he had were safely in his pocket gently clinked together. The boards with the markers were all distributed and the inmates were waiting for the signal to head outside the gates. Gabriel sat in the cafeteria, rocking back and forth, staring at the window with a hum, discussing miracles with the air around him. Dirk’s fingers hovered over the last digit for a moment, before pressing it. Jake’s phone had been crushed, so he didn’t call that one. He doubted that Roxy would answer, probably too drunk to look at her phone. So the best bet was Jane. He swallowed, seeing the payphone beside him had been the one he’d ripped off the edge to beat the Warden with. There was a brief moment when he wondered that if ten years from now, an inmate would end up here and see that phone booth. If he would see the ‘Prince’ carved into the wall, and wonder who that inmate was. Would he make assumptions? Would he think he was short, or would he wonder if he was tall? Would there still be a prison after ten years? Or would this place be left abandoned or torn down and nothing would be left besides the emotions that seeped into the ground of this place.

                He drew a sharp breath, knowing he needed to get off that subject or else he wasn’t going to stay very sane. They say if someone spoke enough common sense, it would cause them to lose their minds. Dirk swallowed, listening to the ring on the end before he heard a gruff voice pick-up. A male’s voice… Jake’s voice.

                _“Jane Crocker’s phone.”_ Dirk’s breath caught, his lips partially parted and eyes wide. He couldn’t speak at first. The voice sounded so tired. Like Jake hadn’t slept in days, so let down and pained. He had no idea what to say then. All his ideas and snappy banter was thrown out the window. _“Hello?”_ Said the voice again, a bit more confused now and Dirk let out the breath. _“Look, we’ve gotten enough of these phone calls. If you don’t identify yourself, I’m going to hang up.”_  
  
                “Don’t hang up.” There was a sound of a thud on the other end of the line. Dirk knew he must have dropped the phone and he heard someone grabbing it as it skittered on the ground. The noises made him smile a bit. Always the clumsy Jake when he was startled.

                _“D-Dirk?”_ Came the breathless voice on the other end of the line. It sounded so upset, but so unbelievably hopeful. Dirk’s own heart swelled. How could he have been so angry at someone that sounded so utterly relieved at three words? He nodded, and then realized he couldn’t see him.

“Yeah, Jake, it’s me. I need you to listen to me for a second okay? I don’t have much time.” Jake tried to say something but cut himself off immediately, Dirk turned to see a flashlight beam coming his direction. “I need you to bring every news crew you can. I want you to find everyone you can- and bring them to the prison I was locked up in. Alright?” Hell, at this point he didn’t even remember the name of this hell hole.

                There was silence for a moment before Jake spoke again, _“I’m on my way.”_ Dirk found that to be enough reassurance, especially when it came to Jake. He thought about saying something profound and important. Loving, even… But ended up just hanging up. He’d give him an hour at the very most. The plan had been put into motion and that was as much as he needed. He escaped easily underneath a table in the room as the guard came in, searched for him for a few moments before left the room at an unbothered pace. After checking that the coast was clear, he made his way back to his cell where Kar sat awake on his bed looking at the board Dirk had written for himself. For a moment he didn’t know what to say as he let himself back in shutting the door behind him.

                Kar narrowed his eyes at him with it still in his hands. “I woke up to find my key to the records room had shit on it.” Dirk frowned harder, voice soft. “Might want to get that cleaned.” Kar’s eyes narrowed, “You know what I fucking mean you manipulative bastard.” He stood to walk towards him, eyes looked into his. He took off Dirk’s shades and looked at him in the eye. The red ochre eyes seemed to have more red in them than they used to; they stared into neon orange. “You took my key, made a copy or something, didn’t you?” His voice was so soft, that Dirk didn’t know really how to answer him at first. Then he nodded, “Yes. I needed to get into the records room to access the security center. It… wasn’t my plan until you took me there the other day. I just wanted dirt on the Warden to start with.” Kar brows were furrowed, “Yeah… it always starts out so fucking innocent.” He shook his head, looking at his shirt. “Was any of it real?” Dirk opened his mouth, then shut it looking away. Honesty…

                “Some of it.” He looked at him again, “Kar… I’m not…” He shut his eyes and Kar’s voice seemed even softer, “Just fucking _talk_ to me, Dirk.” The blond licked his lips, “I’m not… good for you. I’m not good for anyone. You think you understand what I’ve done but you don’t- no one understands. Yes, I used you; I manipulated you into loving me because I needed something but… I just… I lost myself in feeling that someone else gave a damn about some broken guy who got thrown into jail for… for being the piece of shit he is.” He didn’t open his eyes yet, “I understand if you are disgusted with me. I would feel the same way if I was in your situation.” Dirk kept talking, “And I’m… sorry.” He let the word hang there, “I have something important I have to do, and you won’t understand it now but one day you will and it’ll make sense. I’m sorry I had to use you to get it. I don’t want you to get involved with me anymore because… though I’m in love with someone else and I think you are too, I care about what happens to you. And… I can’t have your death on my hands too. I’m barely holding on here already.” He laughed, but it died in his throat and he swallowed, “I’m sorry.” He finally said again and he opened his eyes to look at where he thought Kar was.

                His breath left his lungs as he saw the sunglasses were on the bed. He turned toward the door to see the edge of Kar’s heel disappear around the corner. Dirk felt a pain grow in his chest and picked up the glasses in his hands. He was the Prince of Heart. Destroyer of Souls and Love… and that was all he was good for. He turned away from the door as a guard hit the button for the cells to unlock. It half an hour after five.

                Dirk wiped his eyes, picking up his board and walking out with the march of other inmates as they started heading toward the exits like an army of ants. He blended in with the others as they flooded out of their cells into the main hallways. The guards who tried to stop them were pushed to the side, and any of the guards with weapons were dealing with a very mad Gamzee.

                As soon as he started to worry, he passed the lunch room to see Gamzee literally beating them tables and laughing like a maniac. There was blood smeared on the floor and he almost thought he should stop him. That was when he saw one of them that he had seen beating inmates before repeatedly. Dirk briefly wondered where his since of justice had gone from what it had to ‘eye for an eye’. The guards were threating to kill Gabriel but he didn’t even flinch. Dirk continued to walk past, pushing inmate along who tried to stop and stare, shutting the door as he walked to keep from creating a road block before the ones who had agreed to do this were all outside.

                The regular guards called for backup as they walked past the army of inmates. Their system should have been updating and he had to laugh, seeing them shaking their walkie talkies angrily and glancing up constantly in fear. He had specifically told the prisoners that had agreed not to attack the guards, simply move them aside or ignore them. So far, they had been following his instructions to the letter.

                Dirk went past the cell of Evert who sat staring at his board. There was a blue marker beside him and he looked up at the blond as he passed. He knew he wouldn’t come, but there was a brief look shared before Dirk kept walking, taking up the lead of the small army. The guards tried to taze a few of them but they couldn’t shut down the lock down system and they weren’t stopping the tidal wave of inmates that rushed past them. Mindfang stepped out of her office and then ran back inside to look at them from behind her door. They didn’t bother with her but her eyes met Dirks. So many unspoken conversations that passed in that little time between walking to his cell and the exit doors. Mindfang seemed both shocked, and… oddly proud to see him there. Perhaps because he had proven that he was something besides just an inmate. He could lead an army to do an idea.

                They made it out the front doors and the guards were in absolute panic, Dirk lead them outside the fencing to line up. In the distance Dirk could easily see the dust cloud of hundreds of cars. He had to grin then, Jake had brought everyone… absolutely every new station he could. The blond stood in the middle of the inmates. The road was on a bit of a hill but in perfect distance to where their cameras could easily see their signs. “Hold the line!” He roared to the inmates. “Don’t leave until the news crews have had plenty of time to report. Don’t make a run for it! Just hold this line and let the boards do their jobs! Got that?” There were a few that yelled their acknowledgement. He truly did have an army that he commanded. Dirk swallowed and as the news crews parked and started recording he held up his sign.  
  
JUSTICE FOR JENNA  
  
 xXx          
  
                _“Good morning, my name is Fiona Petranelli reporting for CNB News. At roughly 5am there was a call to the leader of the Justice for Jenna campaign, Jake English, that his best friend, Dirk Strider, had not actually committed suicide inside of the prison you see behind me. Dirk Strider was allegedly wrongfully imprisoned almost nine months ago after killing his kidnapper, and known serial killer of over a hundred and fourteen people in the Southwest and Southeast region of the United States, Nathanial Morris.” She shifted her long black hair behind her ear, a dangling pink earing showing on the camera screen. “Jake English seems to have called multiple news crews to come out here and see what we think is a prison break, led by Dirk Strider himself. As you can see behind me-“_

_She stopped, putting a finger to her ear, “Excuse me, we have new information. This isn’t actually a prison break. This is a political statement. We’re getting multiple reports that over half of the inmates in the line of prisoners behind me are either marked as dead or missing by the prison reports. They seem to have their names, dates of release and what they are listed on the signs that they are holding up.” She swallowed, “My heart goes out to the friends and loved ones of this horrifying scandal.”_

_There was gun fire behind her and she ducked, “Oh my god-“ The camera zoomed in on the line of inmates that quite a few of them were suddenly shot by snipers in nests on the roof of the prison. “Oh my god, the prison guards have opened fire on the inmates! They’re killing them all! Oh my cod- Oh my- Someone call the police!” The camera focused on the blood and the bodies that were littering the fence as some tried to climb back over. There was some running for cover. Very few made it back inside the prison. There was a man on the screen behind held back by two women, “DIRK!” He was screaming and the reporter stepped back, “I… I think all the inmates that we have seen have been killed. This is a serious violation of several laws and I can see the guards coming this way now!” There was a pause as more gunshots were heard. “We’re leaving, Gary. Turn off the camera- we’re leaving!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Text to Warden:
> 
> Find the boy.   
> Kill him.  
> That's an order.
> 
> -C


	21. Curse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!!
> 
> THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS FAILED ATTEMPTS AT SUICIDE, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, AND THINGS REVOLVING AROUND THE TOPIC. IF YOU ARE BOTHERED BY THIS TOPIC, I HIGHLY SUGGEST YOU WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT CHAPTER TO CONTINUE READING.
> 
> P.S. NO ONE ACTUALLY DIES THOUGH.
> 
> THANK YOU.  
> -Cass

                He stared at the blood on his hand.  
There was so much blood on him. Dirk blinked slowly at it, not processing that it was or wasn’t his. It soaked his orange jumper down to his skin. He had sat with the dead for so long he didn’t seem to disconnect that he wasn’t dead himself. Even then, he sat prompt up against the fencing staring at the bodies he had led to slaughter. Blood dripped from between his fingers that were wrapped around his arm onto the grass that was purple he’d been here so long. There were eight others by his side. Out of the original one hundred and seven… nine were left alive. Dirk saw without seeing as the Warden walked among the dead, smoking a cigarette. His face was mutilated from the last beating he’d received from Dirk. Dualscar didn’t say anything; he kicked one inmate who let out a groan. He immediately pulled out his gun and shot the inmate in the back of the head. Dirk didn’t even blink or scare at the noise. There… were even kids among the bodies. Who believed and looked up to him. His orange eyes were dilated as his gaze went back down to look at the blood on his other hand. He had been trying to save some when they found him. He could have saved the inmate he was carrying… he was only seventeen… only seventeen…

                The Warden finished his rounds and stepped up to where the nine survivors were. The dead lay rotting in the mid-day sun behind him. The smell alone was horrifying. He kneeled in front of Dirk, angling his face up to look at him with his pistol. There was a look on his face that Dirk couldn’t really tell what it meant. “Leave this one alive. Kill the others. I want him to live with this. Give him some rope and let him deal with himself.” Dirk’s head fell as soon as the pistol wasn’t supporting it. Dirk shut his eyes as the other inmates cried out in fear as bullets drilled their ways into their heads. He clinched his teeth, turning his head away. He had lead one hundred and six men to their deaths. His blond hair was splattered with red and there were fragments of teeth and brain on his jumper. Two guards grabbed him and dragged him inside, making sure to press their fingers and hands into his wound. Some part of him told him it had just grazed him… but being grazed by a sniper bullet still hurt like someone had lit that part of his arm on fire. Dirk didn’t acknowledge the guards as they dragged him through the hallways. The inmates who had been wise enough to stay inside during the break watched him with a mix of pity and hate. In some cases their friends, family, or more had gone out with him for only him to return. Dirk couldn’t meet any of them in the eye. They threw him head first into the bathrooms. He smacked into the tile, wincing as the cold surface met his temple, his nails caught on grout between the ceramic as he sunk. One guard dragged him up by the hair into the shower and turned on the cold water. The other pulled out a rope, tied it into a noose, and tossed it on the bench in front of him. “Go kill yourself, 413.”

                And they left him there like that. Dirk curled in on himself. All he could think about was how relieved he felt when Jake had looked at him and started to wave. The utter triumph he felt as he grinned back at him. He had held that damn sign so proudly until he heard the first bullet ring out. The screaming- the agony of people dying as someone just started firing on them. It was like a god damn war zone in less than twenty seconds. He had been hit in the arm, knocked down in the dirt from the force of it. The kid next to him had been shot in the leg- he had tried to carry him when he was hit again- Dirk put his hands up to his face to feel it sticky with blood still. So many had been screaming for them to stop… but the guards kept firing like it was some sort of shooting gallery. Some laughed like it was. He had screamed for the reporters to run as their guns started to pepper the grounds toward them. Dirk had tried to yell for people to get to cover but so many weren’t left… The shooting was so loud only the few closest to him were able to pick up and run. They were so close- until gas canisters came flying at them. One of them got hit in the head with it- Dirk tried to get him up but the canister had caved in the man’s head. The gas poured out and before long, Dirk was thrown up against the fence with those who were left. The blonde saw the water turning red around him and he held himself.  
 “Everyone’s dead…” He whispered as the water kept pouring down.

                When Kar finally found him, he was certain he’d find a corpse instead. He had watched the entire thing from a window inside the prison with Evert by his side. His heart had leapt to his throat seeing the bullets start spraying from the guard towers. Even Evert had gasped as many of the inmates in their cellblock dropped dead. He walked inside the shower room carefully, making sure to check everywhere before actually going to the showers. He didn’t know if there was a guard here or not, nor did he really want to find a bloody corpse of his once lover and friend. Dirk had been dragged back in the prison, but that didn’t mean anything when it came to after he went behind closed doors when guards were involved.

                When Kar finally spotted him, he shook his head a little in disbelief at the sight. “Holy hell…” He muttered, coming closer to him very cautiously before kneeling to the side of him. “Hey…” he whispered, hearing the half choked noises coming out of Dirk’s throat. He practically looked like he was between sobbing and a physical seizure. “Hey, I’m here.” He brushed his hand through the other’s hair, withdrawing it to see how caked with blood it was. He washed it off in the shower water with a grimace and removed Dirk’s sunglasses that were cracked badly now. As soon as they were removed they fell to pieces on the floor. Kar swallowed, “Come on, let’s get these off you. They’re soaked.”

                Dirk didn’t move and Kar sighed looking over him with a lost expression. There was a wound on his arm and he didn’t have the supplies to take care of it. “You’re damn near catatonic on me.” He bit his lip and sighed, “They did a number on you.” Kar scooted closed to hold him, not caring as the water soaked him as well. He switched the water now it was on warm seeing Dirk shivering. He hugged him tightly, “Look I know that I’m not the one you love… and I guess you’re not mine either. But for now, let’s just pretend we have some kind of comfort here. Okay? I’m here for you. What happened wasn’t your fault… you got the point across. Those reporters are gonna have a fucking hell of a time removing that pucker from their ass. A lot of people died, but you probably saved a lot of us too.” Kar grabbed a bar of soap that was left abandoned on the floor a few inches away, “Close your eyes, alright? I’m gonna try to get that shit out of your hair.” He whispered, soaping up Dirk’s hair.

                 “And I forgive you ya know. For the fucking shit you put me through. You were right about what I wanted… and though I really don’t fucking understand anything you’re doing… I have this feeling like I don’t need to.” His red ochre eyes softened on Dirk for a moment, “And I know if karma is a thing… what you just went through is probably enough punishment. What you’re going through now is hell enough.”

                The door opened and shut on the other side of the room, behind the rows of lockers that hid the showers. Kar stiffened considerably, his hands were paused in Dirk’s hair and he shrank away from him. Quickly he pushed off the soap from his hands and stood. “Stay here.” He whispered to him, doubting the other would bother to move. Kar didn’t really know what he was thinking going to one of the lockers that he knew one of the more crazy inmates kept pipes in for the ‘smack-downs’ that he seemed to want to give a select few. A lot of inmates had weapons hidden in random places; he himself had managed to sneak in a weapon or two in the beginning. His hand found a smaller one he could lift easily and he held it up in defense around the corner from the entrance. If it was a guard, they’d be in serious trouble. If it was an inmate trying to kill Dirk for revenge, _they_ were going to be the ones in serious trouble.

                Kar took a deep breath, swinging just as Evert rounded the corner. The Native American grabbed it mid-swing easily and Kar growled, “What the fuck, man! I almost killed you!” The other frowned, “What are you doing with a weapon after the scene you just witnessed?” Kar barred his teeth, “Protecting myself in case an asshole inmate with a horse fetish decides to pay me a visit! What do you fucking want?!” Evert opened his mouth before spotting Dirk who was still curled in on himself, eyes staring unblinkingly ahead of him.

                “What he wants is to help your friend.” A woman’s voice said from behind Evert and Mindfang stepped into the light. Kar nearly jumped out of his skin, “When the fuck did you get here?”  
  
                She ignored the question and walked past Evert, putting a hand briefly on his shoulder. “You made the right choice coming to get me.” Kar went quiet as Mindfang walked toward Dirk, turning the water off as she kneeled. Dirk didn’t change facial expression and she tilted his head for him to look in her eyes. “He’s in shock among half a dozen other things.” She muttered, taking out a little case from her white coat. “What are you doing?” Kar asked warily and Mindfang turned her head slightly, “Either you shut up or I’ll tranquilizer you until your release date. I already told you what I’m doing. I’m helping your friend before completely loses his mind.” She took out a needle and thread. Her voice turned back to Dirk, “Since you’re out of it as it is, I’m not going to administer pain killer. I don’t have any either.” Kar asked her why and she answered it was the Warden’s sick little game. Evert frowned hard, crossing his arms.

                Dirk winced once as the sterilized needle went through his arm to sew up the path the bullet had made in his flesh. The blond looked up at her with orange eyes and her blue looked into his. There was a brief connection there and she let out breath. No words were said between them and Evert spoke instead, “This is foolishness.”

                Kar had lost a little of his anger watching her tend to the bloody arm wound he hadn’t known how to take care of until now. It wasn’t like he had access to medical supplies. He was lucky enough that the Warden didn’t know that Dirk had managed to get into the records room through _him._ His head turned to look at Evert with narrowed eyes.

“He should have to live with what he’s done. Not be babied out of it.” Kar drew breath that had unbridled fury written all over it, his entire body twisted to hit him hard enough to cause two bones in his hand to pop out of place and then back in.

                Evert looked at him in shock, barely moved from his original position since he had such height and weight on Kar. “You BASTARD!” He spat at the taller man, “No one deserves to fucking live with that! I killed Sol, he killed a serial killer, YOU ATTACKED SOMEONE.” He punched him again, “No wonder Nadine couldn’t STAND YOU sometimes! You mother fucking sick ass bastard! You don’t fucking care about anyone but your fucking self! You think you’re so god damn self-righteous!” He hit him in the gut this time and Evert continued to take it, not raising his hands to defend himself as Kar clearly bruised him. “Dirk tried to give us back our LIVES and you FUCKING STAND THERE and pass fucking JUDGEMENT on people you DON’T HAVE THE FUCKING BALLS to even LOOK AT HIM!”

                Evert stared at him, opening his mouth to say something that didn’t make it completely out of his now bloodied lip as his nose dripped the substance. Kar shook his head at him, “You think your fucking better than everyone else. But you’re not! No one is better than you and you’re not higher than anyone else! You aren’t fucking god to judge other people and choose the price they pay for what they’ve done!”

                He backed away from him, throwing the pipe at the wall breathing heavily. “Damn bastard.” He whispered and shook his head and Evert lowered his gaze, “I… don’t know how to respond.” Kar snorted glaring at the wall, “I didn’t want you to.” He didn’t look at him and Evert stayed quiet, honestly not knowing where he stood now.

                “If you two are finished, it would be wise to get Mr. Strider back to your cell.” Mindfang commented, “After one of you gets him into dry clothing and the blood washed off. Mind the arm.” She turned on her heel, “Keep me informed of his progress and keep an eye on him.” As she walked out, none of them but Dirk noticed the noose still on the bench.

xXx

                _“What would you do if you could change your fate?” A voice said to him softly in his ear. Dirk stood in a dark room, several other people around him. He walked past them, frowning as he heard pieces of conversations. Their voices were soft and he brushed past a few of them.  He steered clear of some of them, and headed towards ones that he knew. Dirk’s eyes could see outlines, “There you are, chap!” And happier ones, “About time you showed up, bro.” He reached out to the outlines felling them take hold of his hands and bring him in, “Dirk!” There was laughter, “We missed you so much!” Dirk let out an unsteady breath, letting them take hold of him and gently guide him through the darkness. “It’s okay, we’re here.” Dirk swallowed, “Am I dead?” He asked out loud and someone laughed, “No, love… Not yet. It’s alright. We’re all here. We’re waiting for you.”_

 xXx

                He opened his eyes slowly. His fingers straightened out on the bedsheet he was laying on, they ran over the material in brief confusion. The last thing he remembered was bitter cold and staring at a noose on a bench. Dirk turned his head to find his glasses were gone, though for some reason he didn’t really care how much the bright fluorescent light bothered his retinas. Dirk took in a deep breath and he for a moment. He felt… almost the embodiment of watching paint dry on a wall. The blond drew breath before making a decision. His dream was so pleasant this time. To be in that darkness surrounded by people he loved, it reminded him of his dream self almost, except no purple castles around him. Dirk wondered if that was death and slowly rose; he had done his job to alert the world of the horrors inside the prison. He moved like he himself was completely out of time, people around him moved in slow motion as did he when he went down the hallways.  
                 
                 Dirk went up to the library and ignored the new guard who immediately fixed his gaze on him. He took a pen from one of the little cups behind the desk that must have been occupied with a secretary at one time and ripped out a blank page from the back of a book laying close by. He wrote as small as he could; explaining why he had done what he had, how the Game was becoming a reality, and… his apologies. The pen eventually ran out of ink, but it was only after he had put his name at the bottom of it. He folded it in half and walked up to the guard who put his hand on his gun. “Here… Take it as a last request.” The guard frowned at him, taking the note carefully. He hardly recognized the guard who had done his intake information. Officer Summonson frowned at him, looking at the note in his hand. Dark chocolate brown eyes saw the writing on the front of it then looked back at the inmate. “Can… you make sure that goes to Jake English or Jane Crocker? Or at least my sister, Roxy LaLonde?” He asked him, eyes tired. “I know it isn’t your job but… Please?” The guard looked around him and nodded slightly, “I can do that.” He whispered, tucking it into his belt line. Dirk nodded before heading back towards the locker room where Kar found him. Where Kar was, he didn’t know.

                He entered, pushing the door gently aside before letting out a soft breath. The rope was still there, clearly forgotten between the arguing and the tense emotions. His fingertips brushed over it and he looked up at the mirror a few feet away over a sink to see the dark circles under his eyes that were dull. Blond hair stuck out in all directions, a cut on his lip and a bruise on his upper cheek from where he’d been thrown into the tile. He remembered that now that he was here. Dirk wouldn’t allow himself to think about the deaths he’d caused until he was ready to do what he needed. He brushed his thin fingers through his hair, shaking his head a bit. “Damn it…” He breathed to himself, looking up to see the other him again. The other stared at him; he was older than he was now. Maybe in his thirties. The other him wore his shades and a baseball cap. His white shirt had a flared collar and Dirk frowned at him. “Go away.” He whispered and put a hand on the mirror trying to wipe the image away with almost comical squeaking noises, “Go away!” He grew angrier before he broke the mirror altogether, “I’m not you!”

                He shook the glass from his hand, surprised he hadn’t cut himself doing that. He took the rope up in his hand when he turned around to past the bench. Walking quickly out of the room and to the cell block he had walked through to get to one of the several jutting hallways that had more cells lining them. The blocks were in the middle, with hallway leading to the other blocks. There were four blocks, and four halls, making a square with the rec yard in the back and connecting the compound to solitary, armories, record rooms, and other administrative buildings together.

                His cell was hallway leading between Gabriel’s block and his own. Dirk stopped in the strangely emptied block, knowing in the back of his mind that it was because of what he’d done. Those who were there were either asleep, or too out of their minds to notice him. Others were gone, not willing to spend more time than they had to in their cells. The guards, who had been given weapons to shoot on whim now, watched him with smirks. He walked past them to go up to the third floor- the second to highest in the building; they made soft choking sounds as he past. Dirk climbed each step slowly, trying to remember the last time he had been happy. He didn’t want to die wanting to feel the pain he had over the last several months- he wanted to feel that afterwards when he went to Hell if it existed. The rope dragged on the ground behind him. He grasped the railing the last flight, more to keep him from shaking than to support him on the stairs. Each step felt more difficult as he got to the final ones.

                Dirk swallowed walking by the railing going to an open space now he couldn’t catch himself on something as he dropped. He remembered when he thought that there must have been something here to protect someone if they tried to jump when he first got here… Now he saw where the netting had been removed from the wall. He wondered if that was new for him, or if it had always been absent. For a moment he wondered how Kar would react to this… or Jake, for that matter. They’d probably think he was a coward for doing this.  
  
But they hadn’t been fragmented and glued back together constantly.  
They hadn’t seen what he’d seen…  
They hadn’t felt like he didn’t want to get up in the morning, or breath, or eat, or bother sleeping.  
They didn’t know what it was like just to want to give up.  
  
                He tied the rope tightly, checking to see if the bindings were all sturdy. He didn’t want a single chance of this messing up. Dirk double knotted it and slipped it over his neck. The man tightened it around his throat and he took in a deep breath, sitting on the railing with his legs thrown over the edge. There were a few inmates that were crazed that had started to look at him. Dirk had the mental image of four lanterns like the time they were trying to enter the game and he had to laugh to himself. This time there was no one to kiss him to bring him back. And that was fine with him. His feet pressed against the bottom part of the railing as he prepared himself to drop. Dirk inhaled deeply before pressing his palms flat against the surface behind him to push himself off.

                “Dirk!” He jerked to at stop, twisting to look back at who had shouted his name. Jane stood there; blue eyes terrified and wide, filled with tears. “Dirk- Wait- Please!” The blond stared at her before looking away from her, his mouth was open and he looked below, then back at her. He knew she was just a hallucination. That wasn’t the real Jane- it wasn’t. But he couldn’t jump when she looked at him with those eyes. “Jane, I can’t… not anymore.” He begged. “Just… let me do this. I can’t handle it anymore…”  
  
                Jane came forward slowly, “I know- but- I just-“ She swallowed, trying to speak but shaking her head. “Please don’t do this. I hate asking you to do that when I know how you feel right now. But… I won’t get over this- I’m never going to be okay if I know we were so close to rescuing you and you died- Roxy will drown herself and Jake-“ She shook her head, tears still rolling down her cheeks, “Dirk, please, this isn’t worth it and there are other options than this.” She took him by the hand with both of hers, “Please get down. Talk to me...” Dirk looked at her with his burning eyes, “Jane…”

                 The woman swallowed, “Please, Dirk, for me… just… come down and let’s talk. You’re my best friend; I can’t watch you do this.” She gently pulled him back over the railing where she removed the noose and tossed it away. Dirk swallowed his whisper hoarse from holding back his own tears, “I can’t anymore, Jane.” He whispered, “I can’t keep having the blood on my hands, the nightmares… I don’t want to be a hero I just want to...” He looked back at the railing like he thought maybe he could take a running jump but Jane held him fast.

                “I understand and I know you’re hurting.” She whispered, holding his hand in hers while leading him back down the stairs. He let her lead him back to their cell and she sat him down on the bed, sitting beside him. “It’s okay to feel this way… but you’re not hopeless.” Worry was still clear in her features as she spoke to him.

                “I’m responsible for their deaths. The guys I took outside- the fucking kid they shot next to me- all of them… I’m responsible.” He whispered, shaking his head, “I’m responsible for _her_ too… if I had just let him kill me there- she wouldn’t have gotten in the way of his gun. If one of you got hurt yesterday- I didn’t even get to see if one of you were hurt- Oh god-“ He gasped, putting his head in his hands, “I-I can’t handle this anymore.” Dirk rocked back in forth, wrapping his arms around his torso, other hand still covering his eyes. His face contorted with grief and Jane wrapped her arms around him in an almost double hug. “I know… I know you’re at your breaking point after all you’ve been through.” She pulled back to look at him, “There is so much more than pain to live for though, Dirk. We’re still out there.”

                He shrugged, “What does it matter? With what’s coming, there isn’t going to be anything left to live for…” Jane frowned slightly at his words, shaking her head a little, “Because we can stop it together with our friends. You are _never_ alone, Dirk Strider. Absolutely never.”

                 She looked at his wound, “There is so much outside these walls. You remember our days when we’d just lay around with Roxy and Jake and watch our favorite television shows… or when we’d go out to have fun bowling or libraries… Your life doesn’t revolve around these- god forsaken walls.” She smacked the wall with her hand as she referred to them. “Dirk, look at me-.” Jane angled his face upward to see her; they were bloodshot at this point. “You blame yourself… and peace doesn’t come from the absence of violence but despite the abundance of it. You tried to _save_ all of them. You tried to save Jenna. I know you won’t speak her name, but you brought her home and you saved Rachel!” She gently shook him, “You have changed Evert’s mind about how final his beliefs are, you’ve given Kar hope, and you revealed a murderer and the horrors that went on here! You made a troll who had once killed all of his friends wake up and try to change his fate - God, Dirk, don’t you see that you’re hardly what you believe that you are!? You have done nothing but try to help and save those around you!”  
  
                Dirk looked at her, lips trembling ever so slightly, “Then why do I feel like I’m the one who pulled the trigger… that I’m the one who was behind it all and if it wasn’t for me they’d all still be alive.” Jane brushed her hand over his arms- his wound not feeling pain at all. “No Dirk, they wouldn’t be.” She whispered sadly, “Jenna would be dead… she would have given birth to a fetus that was deformed and still would have died… She would have been emotionally traumatized beyond belief from what had happened and if someone /had/ managed to rescue her. She would have spent years, if not all her life in recovery. And Rachel would have been done the same way as Jenna… and that’s only if they were managed to be rescued before… that monster decided to move on. And the men who died? They would have been trapped here, killed off by the guards until there was nothing left but echoes of forgotten men who had been deemed unworthy to even have a proper burial. They would have been trapped here.”  
  
                She bit her lip, “At least dead, they’re free from the hell they had to live through. People died, yes, but that doesn’t mean the end result is hopeless. You’re making sure hope survives.” She brushed her hand over his cheek, “You’ve been so brave… just hang on a little longer.” Jane whispered to him, “Please, for me, wait until you see what’s still waiting for you… I promise you that things will be different. Just hang on.”  
  
                He breathed out; listening to her and feeling himself slowly come out of his state. It wasn’t gone… but it eased a bit. Just a bit to become manageable. “Okay… I’ll wait. But I can’t guarantee how long that will be before I...” He whispered back and she hugged him tightly to her chest, “You’re trying though, and thank gosh for that.” She sniffed, rubbing her eyes, “Because I clearly can’t live without my best friend. I just can’t.”

                She pulled back and wiped her eyes. “Just hang on, Dirk. We love you so much. Be brave, okay?” She stood up and Dirk swallowed, “Are you leaving already?” The woman nodded, “We’ll see each other again soon.” The blond nodded, “I’ll try my best to make it back…” Jane smiled, “You’ll make it. We’re all waiting for you, Dirk.” She kissed his temple, the word rang through his mind and he cleared his throat softly. “Depression.” Jane turned to leave out the cellblock quickly as Kar came in, stopping short at the sight of him and the upset expression slipped off his face.  
  
                “You’re here?” Dirk glanced outside to see how the sun was, judging the time of day, “Yeah… Was I supposed to be somewhere else?” Kar let out a breath, shaking his head, “Some asshole just told me you were walking around with a noose in your hand… I figured…”  
  
                The blond let out a long breath, “Jumped… then changed my mind.”

                The other inmate furrowed his brow, then realized what he meant. “Well I’m fucking glad because it’d get real fucking dull around here if Evert was the only person I could stand to have a conversation with.” Dirk smiled at that and shrugged. “Guess it would get pretty boring around here.” Kar came closer and sat where Jane had just vacated. “So… do I have to tie you up to make sure you don’t do anything permanent?” He shook his head to the negative and the other nodded, “Good.” He sighed, “Want something to eat?” Dirk looked at the mirror in their room, seeing his reflection was still the him from before, “Yeah… I could do with some food.”

xXx

                In the middle the night, something scraped across the floor outside the cell that woke Dirk from his curled position underneath his blanket. Dirk frowned listening to the scraping sound again. He quietly sat up slightly to look outside. He’d always been a stupidly light sleeper, even before the Game. His eyes were tired as he crawled to the end of his bed. Kar didn’t budge above him, snoring lightly still. He peeked out from behind the bars to see two flash light beams moving slowly down the hallway. He frowned as the guards carrying a barrel stopped nearby. “McBride, I really think this is a bad idea.” One whispered and they stopped outside Dirk’s cell. He ducked down to look like he was sleeping while they hissed at each other in the dead of night. “You don’t like it Summonson, find a new fucking gig!” The one called McBride continued to drag the barrel. “Come on, man… if the Warden knew about this-…” There was a sound of disgust. “Like he could stop making those secret ass phone calls in his office long enough to worry about what we’re doing. You know this place has a hella fine insurance policy on it. Stick to the god damn plan.” He told him and Summonson sighed, “It doesn’t seem morally _right_ at all.”  
                 
                McBride snorted, “You know what’s not right? Taking care of a bunch of shithead criminals with the pay and benefits we get. We burn this place to the ground, and we get paid leave until we all get transferred to one of those nice fancy federally owned prisons with a huge bonus and better pay. Not this bullshit. We don’t get attacked by the police or the news because we pin it all on the Warden for telling us what to do with those mistreating or killing prisoner charges… No more moron inmates… And we can blame the fire on faulty wiring- especially after the power went out a couple months ago. It’s the perfect plan, are you gonna help or not?” Summonson was silent, “I have a feeling that you’d make sure I was one of the names on a list that will go out to families if I don’t.”  
  
                McBride laughed, “Accidents happen, man. Relish it and take advantage of it when it does.” There was a sound of footstep and the voice of Summonson quietly swore, “Fuck this job…”

 


	22. I Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edited by the absolutely fantastic Aelfrey.

            He lay awake in his bed for some time afterward, a sickening feeling growing in his stomach as he saw the barrel in the darkness. Was that their entire plan? To burn this place down to the ground? Would they bother to let them out of the prison cells at all? Or would they all burn to death, trapped in a cell? Dirk bit his lip, wondering if he should wake Kar, but knew how the other reacted in stressful situations already. He sat up, crawling out of the bed to get closer to the bars to see. It didn’t have any sort of identifier on it- not even a chemical or hazmat sign. He frowned, taking a deep breath through his nose. His sense of smell had always been a hell of a lot better than his eyes. He took a deep breath again, getting very faint hints of something horrendous and sneezed a moment later. It was like what he smelt on the streets of Austin after old cars went past. He frowned, unsure if that was actually what it was. He hadn’t been around that scent in so long he could be mistaken- not to mention, gasoline hadn’t really been a thing when he grew up, or in the game. Dirk went to the sink to pry the lid off the faucet top to find the keys he had before. It took a few moments but the cap came off and he stopped short, seeing that they were nowhere to be found. The blond stared a moment before prying off the other lid, then looked around the base for them. “Where the hell…?”

            He remembered then. A hand went to his forehead, “Shit.” He whispered, knowing they were still in the destroyed and tattered jumper he had when he took those men outside- the same one that had gotten tossed into the trash with them still inside the left pocket. “Fuck!” He hissed out and looked at the bars. If they honestly planned to start a fire, they probably would turn off the alarms to make it seem like just what they were planning to blame it on… a faulty wiring problem. Dirk shook the bars, feeling panic set in even though there was no fire at the moment. All he could think about was Nathanial’s burning sawmill and house… him rising from the fires of hell to come and get him.

            “Oi- the fuck are you doing?” Kar asked groggily from the top bunk. Dirk seemed to have glitched out, he tried to say words but they didn’t form, still trapped in his brief panic. He ended up just pointing to the barrel before Kar rubbed his eyes and got down from the top bunk, looking with narrowed eyes through the bars. “What? Someone put a barrel there. Maybe the Warden found him something big enough to fuck himself with.”

            Dirk ignored the imagery that popped into his head with that idea. He paused, but after a moment was thankful for the distraction. “No, I heard the guards when they brought it here. They’re going to burn down the prison!” Kar stopped, looking up at him, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” He looked back at the barrel, rubbing his eyes again trying to see through the darkness; a much more difficult feat for him compared to Dirk.

            The taller shook his head, “I swear on my- fuck, I swear on everything, they talked about an insurance policy and burning this place down to the ground to blame it on faulty wiring. The Warden doesn’t know either.” Kar shooshed him with a pat on his face, wincing as he hit him there instead of his shoulder where he was aiming, “Stop yapping your jaws for a second, I'm thinking.” He ran his fingers through his hair, red in his eyes standing out in this light. They looked down at the bars, then at the room around them. “Did they say it was going to be tonight?” Dirk frowned, shaking his head, then answering him out loud when he realized that Kar could barely see his nose in the darkness. “No…” Kar bit his lower lip, “If full, that barrel takes what, three guards to pull, right?” He shrugged, “Two, from what I saw.”

            “Okay,” He pressed himself against the bars to look left then look down. “I see four down this hallway, say they were trying to blow us all to hell, they’d probably put the same amount in each place. They are probably yapping at each other and trying to hide this from the Warden- so it’s probably gonna take all night. We can’t do a damn thing from our cell- but if it reaches five thirty and we’re not dead; we’ll be fine. There is no way in hell that they are going to blow this place up in broad daylight with prisoners running around that could get out and tell what they did. They’d probably wait until the middle of the fucking night like tonight while we’re all asleep. That gives us time…” He muttered and Dirk frowned turning his head to look at him. He couldn’t ignore that sort of logic, “You want to warn everyone?”

            Kar looked at him, his eyes completely red in the iris. He remembered when Kanaya had once told him that when trolls reached adulthood, their eyes would fill with their blood color. And if they were old enough, it was possible for their hair to do the same instead of going white like humans did. It would turn black with streaks of their blood color. “Why the hell not?”

            The taller opened his mouth, then shut it with a shrug, “You just… never seemed so…” The once-troll crossed his arms, brow furrowing angrily, “I just never seemed so fucking _what?_ ” Dirk briefly smiled, looking between his red eyes, “Determined.”

            Kar shrugged, looking down then back up to him, an uncertainty in his gaze, “I guess I figured out that I’m real tired of shit happening around me and me sitting on my ass. And I refuse to die in my sleep like some wriggler who got too close to a firefly nest.” Dirk didn’t comment on his choice of words but agreed with it none the less, “So tomorrow we’ll warn the inmates. Won’t that cause a revolt, though? If the Warden finds out we’re screwed… they may do it anyway and then we won’t have a plan to escape, either, even if he finds out. He may just be all for it.”

             The shorter sighed, “I say we spread it around… but get prepared ourselves. Can you make a copy of that guard key again?” Dirk paused before nodding his head, “Definitely.” Kar gestured to where the caps with the hot and cold symbols would usually be. “I guess you put them in there the last time? Do it again, it’s a good spot. They won’t check there if we all get searched before they lock us in.” Dirk glanced at the sink, “So we’ll be able to get out of our cells…” Kar patted where the key was around his neck still. “And release the other prisoners if we get to the point that we’re all in a burning inferno.” Kar finished his phrase with a smirk. The blond looked outside judging the distance of the moon and where it was, “It’s almost three in the morning… When the door opens, I’ll make the spare keys. One for you and one for me. Just in case.”

            Kar looked where he was before sighing, “Just our fucking luck. The one night where you're sane again and I’m actually sleeping properly, the entire prison decides to burn to the ground. Better go back to fucking sleep while we still can.” He pulled himself up into his bunk as he said that. “There isn’t a damn thing we can do about it now. So get ready for tomorrow. I’ll check around with some of the guys I know since you’re on everyone’s shit list recently while you make the keys.”

            Dirk felt relief rush over him. For once he wasn’t the one calling the shots… nor did he feel nearly as panicked as he did before. “ _You are never alone, Dirk.”_ He remembered Jane’s words and swallowed. “Alright.” He slowly allowed himself to get back into the bed and look up at the names in the metal above him. “Alright.” He whispered to himself, turning to pull his pillow toward him. He hoped this time there wouldn’t be any more blood to soak his hands…

xXx  
  
            “Get up.” Kar nudged him in the shoulder and Dirk blinked awake, shielding his eyes from the sun as he sat up. As much as the sunrise seemed beautiful to him on cloudy mornings; it murdered his vision on clear ones. He sighed, “I’m really missing those sunglasses about now.” The shorter moved now he could stand completely from the lower bunk, “Well Dirty Dan has another pair if you’d like to go ask him for one. Might ask you to blow him first.”   
  
            Dirk made a face, “Did you-?” Kar made a sound of disgust, “No! Christ, I wouldn’t put my mouth near him, let alone on him. I’d rather cut out my tongue. He just owed me a favor for something. Never mind that shit, what do you need to make the keys?” Dirk nodded, getting up and searching through his mattress to take out the little compact he had the impressions of the keys made in. He checked them carefully, breathing a sigh as they were still intact. “This is all I need. It’s going to take me a while to remake these.”

            Kar shrugged, “Yeah, same for me telling the fuck-ups their shit is gonna get wrecked. Just don’t get caught.” He walked out the doors and Dirk peeked out to look after him, before going the opposite direction. The blond maneuvered his way toward the ‘shop room’, counting the barrels in his wake. The inmates were curious about them too… but none of them seemed to really care that much, either. He bit his lip, glancing up from time to time to see some eyes on him. He really was on some of their shit lists. And that was never a good idea to be on that kind of list in prison. Dirk counted his steps and found the right door moments later.

            He had to damn near break the door down to the room to get inside. It was stuck fast from the last time he was in the room and he had tried to block it up to hide all evidence of his doings, not thinking he would need to get inside again. Dirk looked around, closing it behind him without too much noise. No one usually used this one since it was old and there were better shop rooms near the rec areas. After the remodeling, this room like the records room had been forgotten and used for other things. Mostly storage as he found out a few days ago. Thankfully, whoever did the moving was entirely too lazy to lift most of the supplies to make hinges to the new areas.

            Originally the prisoners had to make their own cells- or at least parts of them, telling the true age of the building he was in. Strange enough, making a hinge and making a key weren’t that different. He brushed his hair back and frowned, realizing how long it was. He had fairly long hair in the start of coming here, and he had always used gel before to keep it his favorite style; but he hadn’t had a haircut since and it had been almost nine and a half months. He sighed, grabbing a piece of string that was left alone in one of the many storage boxes laying around. Dirk tied his hair back out of his face, a few strands coming down. It made a very short spiky ponytail that barely popped out of the makeshift tie, but it was enough to get it out of his eyes. If he managed to make it out of here, the first thing he was going to do was get a haircut. He set to work for the next two hours, making his duplicates absolutely perfect.

            Dirk wiped the sweat from his brow; the little fire he had going to make the molten metal was heating up the place substantially, just like last time. He was tired now, too, and he leaned up and away from the desk on a stool he had found buried in the back. The man let out a long breath, cracking his neck. An hour ago he had noticed something glinting in the vent, and he had told himself he’d take a look in a little while, once the first key was finished. He leaned forward again, getting back work. He wondered what happened to Gabriel, not having seen him since he had been the distraction. He had noticed a lot of missing guards… meaning he had probably killed a lot of people. Dirk couldn’t blame him at this point to be honest. But that left two options for the gore loving ex-troll; he was probably either dead or in solitary again. Something moved behind him and Dirk froze in place. He swallowed hard, turning around quickly to see the box he had pulled the rope for his hair about fall on the floor. The blond let out a breath, knowing it was stacked haphazardly in the first place. Just to make sure, he checked the back area quickly. He didn’t want to wait to find an inmate hiding in the back to knife him when he wasn’t looking. Or even worse, a guard trying to catch him in the act of making keys. When he was satisfied with the search, he turned to come back to the little key workshop he’d constructed.

            This time he stopped short for a good reason. There was someone sitting on his stool, humming softly as she ran her fingers over some of the tools in front of her that he’d laid out to use. “Somehow I knew you were good at making things out of nothing.” Her long blond hair ran down her back and he drew in breath, not knowing he’d completely stopped breathing at the sight of her. Her head turned and lime green eyes focused on him with a smile. “Hello, Dirk.”

            Her voice was gentle and Dirk couldn’t respond. He took a step back, staring at her like he was in a horror movie. His eyes were wide as he knocked over a few more boxes. Dirk stared at her for a few moments, hardly recognizing her without the caked mud on her features or the blood splattered on her clothing. “Jenna?” Her name tumbled from his dry lips for the first time since the trial, and she nodded to him with a soft smile still on her face.

            “I thought this would be better, instead of popping up after you got out of here. I wanted… to make sure that when you left here, that you were past what’s happened so far and ready for what’s coming.” Dirk licked his lips, trying to put the moisture back, not sure what to say to her at all. Or rather, which of the many things he had to say, he should choose to say first.

            Jenna laughed, “God, you have no idea how happy I am to see you. You look so much better than what you did in that cell.” She shook her head a little, but sobering moments later to bite her lip. “Dirk… I know what you’ve been through up to this point. I really wish I could have come sooner so you didn’t have to blame yourself for what happened.” She got off the stool walking towards him. She had jeans on and a white sweater, with those white flats that Jane loved to wear all the time. He remembered her wearing it in one of the photos he’d seen of her at the funeral. There were so many of those photos of her smiling and being happy. He had ended that, forever.

            She got closer to him, looking up into his eyes with a small frown. “Dirk, you haven’t accepted what happened.” Dirk looked down into hers before having to turn away, “How could I, when…” Jenna brought up her hand to turn his face gently back toward her. “You did nothing to me.” She whispered, “You’ve heard it from everyone else, and now you’re hearing it from me. I knew what I was doing in that cell.” Jenna smiled, “I knew what would happen… and I saw something in you that Bobby didn’t have. I saw that of anyone in that place, the one who could end Nathanial was _you._ You were so unbelievably brave, Dirk. And you have no idea how much happiness I felt when you rescued Rachel. I may have never known her, but she gets to live now!”

            Dirk shut his eyes, even though she had his face in her hand, “But you should have had that chance.” He whispered, “I should have been the dead one. You deserved a house with your fiancée; you deserved a home, a great job and a dog and a couple kids… You deserved so much better than that cell. If I had just- been better- held the rag tighter, fought him harder, done something differently-” He choked a bit and Jenna quieted him, “You didn’t take that away from me, Dirk. Nathanial did.” She ran her fingers over his lips after she shushed him and then went to his chest, “And you avenged me. Which… I hate to say it, I was happy about that, too. It was justice. Something that this world lacks.”

            Jenna took a deep breath, “Dirk, look at me.” He didn’t at first, and then lamented to see her lime green eyes. He had always thought them darker in the room with little light. “You may not have saved me, but you saved what was left.” She smiled with a tiny shake of her head, “And that’s all I ever wanted. I’m free! Please stop blaming yourself for something when _I’m_ the one at peace with it.” Dirk opened his mouth as Jenna began to step away, “Wait…”

            She did, looking up at him with a curious expression. “I… I lied to you.” He whispered and Jenna cocked her head to the side, “When I held the- the baby…” He swallowed, “My last words were that it was going to be okay- and that he was going to live- And-“ She cut through his words before his voice cracked even more, “I know.”

            “You know?” She nodded ever so slightly, “I knew.” Jenna laughed then, something that he was sure that angels had created in their spare time, “Has that really been something you were worried about, Dirk? I’ve always known. Thank you… for giving me comfort in my last moments.”

            She smiled at him, “I never have or will blame you, Dirk. I love you for what you did for me there. And afterward.” Dirk stared at her as she came close again to press a kiss to his temple on her tiptoes. She was like a mix of his friends; Roxy’s hair, Jane’s personality, Jake’s eyes and sense of morality. Perhaps that’s why he felt so responsible for her. Why he cared what happened to her right to his core. Jenna looked at him endearing him before going back down on the balls of her feet.

            “You’re ready.” Jenna took a step back then, “I don’t want to see you for a long time, young man.” She wagged a finger at him, “Not until you’re all gray and have more lines than a road map! I want you to live for me too, okay?” He nodded, swallowing hard watching her back away from him. “I will. I promise.” Jenna went to the door, stopping to look back at him, “Five stages. And you’ve found the last one. Acceptance.” She waved goodbye to him, but paused just before shutting the door entirely. “Oh… make sure you check that vent okay?” Jenna winked at him before shutting the door quietly behind her without any noise.

 xXx

            He jerked awake from where he was on the table. Dirk sat up immediately, looking around him. “Jenna?” He called softly with no answer. Had he dreamed all of that? The window outside was setting and he glanced down at his keys to find them made. “What the fuck…” He whispered to himself. All the other hallucinations had just come to him in reality, why had hers been so specific in a dream?

            It was a mystery he didn't really feel the need to solve, feeling instead a massive weight lifting off his chest. For the first time in months he felt like he could actually breathe. The man slowly got up from his sitting position, taking the two finished keys in his hand. How they been finished, and how he ended up asleep, he’d never know. Dirk had to leave, knowing he was going to have one hell of a problem later if he was caught before the doors shut to the cells. Heading out the door that Jenna had just left through, he completely forgot about the object in the vent. His brain was filled with too many other questions or plans to bother to turn around and go back for it, either. He saw some of the inmates heading back towards their cells but… he went against his better judgment to make one final detour before going back to his own.

            It wasn’t a long track to get to the phones. He was just going to leave a message. Something just to let them know he was alive… it had been a couple days and he hadn’t felt stable enough to tell them anything… or by chance find out if one of them had been hurt as well. Dirk picked up the receiver and paused looking at the line that connected it to the box. It was completely cut in half, and so were the other telephones. Either someone had thought it would be funny as hell to kill the phone lines or this was done on purpose. Either way, it spooked him enough to get him moving at lot more quickly back to his cell. The guard’s eyes were watching him with playful smirks. He recognized McBride and carefully steered clear of him on his path. He slipped in right before the doors closed, and he looked at Kar, who looked wary. “The entire prison is on pins and needles man.” He whispered, lights shutting off. “I feel it in the air.” Kar whispered, “Something is going to happen and it isn’t good. Did you…?” Dirk wordlessly put his second key into Kar’s hand. “Are you going to be alright?” He asked the other and nodded, “Yeah… just…” Dirk breathed out, “I know. You have a cigarette?”

            Kar brought out one and lit with his last match, offering it to Dirk who lit Kar’s cigarette with his own. They sat on his bed, looking outside as the guards made their final rounds. They sat there, enjoying what was possibly their last cigarette together. The blond looked back at Kar. “Any regrets?” The once troll looked up at him, a bit of stubble on his jaw at this point. He scratched it and shook his head, “No… Maybe. I couldn’t save Sol… but it was Gabriel who couldn’t control himself. I have to live with the first part. Not the second.” He leaned back on the bed frame looking at Dirk, “You?” At first he didn’t answer, “Not anymore. I think I’ve made peace with some of my demons.” Kar nodded. “Despite everything that's happened, I’m really glad we met, Dirk.” Dirk gave him a small smile, “Me too, Kar.”

            They eventually fell asleep together, waiting for something to happen, cigarettes safely put out on the wall. Kar curled up to Dirk, and Dirk put an arm around him. Both knew they weren’t lovers anymore, but it was better to die in someone’s arms than not. Dirk’s plan was to stay up all night to keep watch, but his eyes drooped like all the others in the prison. They only woke when the first scream in their block was heard.


	23. Nicotine

                Jolting awake to terrified wails ringing through the prison halls, Dirk saw the flames dancing angrily on the walls and his breath caught in his throat. Kar woke and scrambled off of him, looking at the flames down the hall that were rapidly getting closer, and immediately took action, moving to the door. He tried to push it while Dirk still stood in shock, watching the trail of oil spread with a line of fire. “Dirk!” Kar yelled at him, “Don’t just fucking stand there, moron!” He continued to push the door, only for it to budge a little bit more, but not completely open. Dirk blinked as Kar screamed his name again. He couldn’t get the image of Nathanial coming out of the fire out of his head. The blond finally got beside him and pulled the door open- the fire almost at their door. Screams of inmates who weren’t so lucky to be able to free themselves were growing louder as they either burned to death or suffocated from the smoke. “Open the other doors!” Kar yelled to him and Dirk fumbled with his key, opening each door that wasn’t in the direction of the flames. Those who were coherent enough to offer thanks did as they bolted away. The motion of having something to do seemed to bring him out of his stupor.  
   
                “We need to get to the records room to release the prisoners from the other sections!” Dirk called to Kar who finished the last door to let them free, running from the hallway and slamming the door shut behind them when they were sure most of the inmates that could be saved were out. The rest were already dead or too far gone. The door wouldn’t put up much defense, but they had to at least try to keep the flames blocked for now. “Nice of you to mention that before we locked the door, dickmuncher- The records room was that way!” Kar growled, gesturing angrily back the way they came. “The entire place is in a giant square- we can make it back around!” Dirk replied, sweeping his hair back out of his face. “The only way we’re going to get out of here is if we unlock the front gate! Otherwise we just made our prison cell a little larger!” Kar nodded, licking his lips for moisture. Even the air around them seemed parched.

                They set off running in that direction, their feet making twin foot falling patterns. Inmates that they ran past ordered them to set them free too- only to have neither of them reply. There were other prisoners ahead of them as they passed the security center of the compound and Kar dragged Dirk out of the way as bullets flew. Dirk landed beside him pressed against a wall as the guards laughed, the inmates in front of them littering the ground.

                His teeth were clenched, “So much for that idea.” Hissing, he squinted his eyes at the guards, recognizing McBride with them. “We’re not going to be able to get past them this way.” Dirk whispered to Kar who was looking around the edge too. “It’s either this way or the flaming hallway of death!” Kar replied with a glare. He growled back, “We need a distraction.”

                “Well what do you recommend? Me dressing in a skirt and dancing the fucking hula?” Dirk smirked, “No. And I know that reference.” Kar rolled his eyes, and then looked around them for something they could use. Back the way they had come there was a manual sprinkler head button behind locked bars. “Think our keys would work on that?” He whispered and Dirk moved his head back to look. “Yeah but only in this block… it’s a probably a onetime use too since the sprinklers haven’t gone off yet.” Kar sighed, “Yeah well it’s enough to get them to stop paying attention to us and worry about their hair while we slip past.” Dirk nodded, “Worth a shot.” He whispered and peeked his head around, “You’re faster than me, I’ll keep watch.” Kar got lower and soon as Dirk gave the signal, he full on sprinted. The guards reacted a moment later, mid-light of their cigarettes. “Hey you!” They raised their weapons and Dirk jumped out, “Over here!” And ducked as bullets flew at him instead, chipping away the rock from the corner of the little alcove. Kar choose then to run, and their guns aimed at him before Dirk bowled himself into one and used him as leverage to keep going. Grabbing the gun from his hand while he was at it. The water came pouring down, making some of them slip or distracted enough to miss Kar who had a line of bullets following him on the wall. They skid around the corner to the hallway where the records room was. “That was too god damn close!” Kar spat shaking his head to rid the water that had soaked his clothing and hair.

                “We’re alive aren’t we?” Dirk replied before stopping outside the records room. “Kar.” He whispered, holding the gun in both hands as the smaller stopped his search for his key. The door was already open. “Oh shit…” The other replied and Dirk swallowed hard, checking how much ammo he had left.

Two bullets. Fantastic.

                Kar reached out and Dirk raised the weapon. He knew how to use one because of Jake, just like how Jake knew how to use a sword decently because of him. Kar flicked on the light and groaned, “No… no no no…” He whispered stepping inside and Dirk right behind him. The entire room was covered in red and purple. Dirk frowned, reading the repeated ‘honks’ on the wall and different sentences like a sermon. The computer and other systems all had bullet holes in them, with a giant purple smiling face and the work ‘HONK’ on the bottom. “Gabriel.” Dirk shook his head, “What are we going to do…” Kar whispered to Dirk and he swallowed, “… Find another place to unlock the doors. Every moment we waste more people are dying by flames or by the guards.” Kar looked up at him, eyes dilated, “The only place left is the fucking security center and you saw how well we could get into there! And I doubt the sprinkler trick would work again! Even if it did, the guards are guarding the place, we couldn’t get past that! Then we would die and everyone else dies with us and-!” Dirk shushed him, “Calm down! We don’t need you freaking out. We’re… going to have to do something stupid.”

                Kar groaned, “How stupid…?” The blond tapped a few keys to make sure and when nothing happened he looked at Kar. “You know where the armory is?” There was a pregnant pause as Kar nodded his head, confused on why he wanted to know. When it dawned on him he looked horrified. “You’re going to fucking FIGHT the guards?! Why don't you just go knock on the Warden's fucking door while you're at it!” Dirk sighed, “Look! If we don’t do something soon we’re all dead anyway. If you’re so damn afraid of doing it then stay here with the creepy ass clown drawings on the wall. Just tell me where the place is and I’ll go myself.” Kar bristled, “What- like I can’t handle it?!” Dirk stared at him and shrugged, before Kar snarled, “Follow me, fuckwit.” The blond raised an eyebrow at him as Kar lead the way out of the door and up the stairs of that hallway. It was on the third floor and he crossed his arms. Strange enough, it wasn’t guarded and Kar bit his lip. “There is an access code to it.” Dirk kneeled in front of it. “Does it ever change?” The shorter shook his head, “I don’t think so.” Silence fell between them as Dirk looked at the keypad. It was old. That was a good thing. He looked at the door frame and then the wall beside it.

                “Neither of us know the fucking code, how is this going to help-?” Dirk’s foot went through the wall in a hard crash. Drywall and wood came down and he reached his arm in to unlock the door from the inside. Kar’s mouth had fallen open as the door came open and Dirk looked around, “They probably would have registered a break in or someone in here at the security center. We need to hurry.” He let himself in, shutting the door behind them both. Plenty of riot gear lay around them on the walls or on tables or behind cages. Dirk immediately went for anything handheld while Kar shifted from foot to foot before getting a bullet proof vest. He put it over himself and fiddled with the straps with unpracticed fingers. Dirk shoved a shotgun toward him and Kar looked at it like it might bite him. “I don’t know how to use a gun.” He whispered and Dirk looked up at him, eyes hurting in the florescent light.

                There was a pause before Dirk got up from his kneeled position at an ammo storage case. He walked toward him and offered him a handgun before stepping around and raising it up. His hand on his, he pointed it for him. “Hold it with two hands. Don’t cross your thumbs. Aim from the little tic mark at the end. Squeeze the trigger with your entire hand, and don’t fire too quickly. You replace the magazine by doing this.” He showed him with his own and Kar practiced for a moment and then swallowed, “The safety is off, so don’t shoot yourself.” Dirk warned him with a squeeze of his shoulder and Kar swallowed with a nod. Dirk gathered a smoke grenade or two, and a forgotten flashlight, before sticking them into a gun belt he simply put on his shoulder. He was going to get a bullet proof vest as well when the guards started trying to open the door. The power to this part of the building started flickering and Dirk grabbed a hold of Kar by the arm, dragging him out of the way of the door as the guards came in, “Someone have a flashlight?! I know they’re in here!” Dirk again, thanked everything holy he had exceptional night vision, and dragged Kar out of the room as someone started to search with a flashlight behind them.

                The security center was straight ahead and McBride was gleeful. The bodies had been piling up around them and Dirk swallowed. “Alright… I’m going to throw a smoke grenade and we’re going to exactly what we just did. Go around them and slip inside.” He whispered to Kar who nodded. Dirk uncapped one of the grenades pulled the pin after reading the instructions on the side and tossed it. Smoke started pouring out everywhere and Dirk pulled up his shirt to cover his mouth, “Go!” He told him and Kar hurried out with Dirk right behind him. Kar made it through the door that had been left open for guards to go back and forth. Just as Dirk crossed the threshold, a hand went around his arm and yanked him back. Dirk let out a startled cry and Kar turned, “Shut the door!” He screamed at him and Kar panicked, hitting the button that shut it. The blond kicked out and squirmed against the arm holding him and looked back to see McBride snarling at him. “Come here you little bitch!” Fury took hold in under a second; Dirk’s head snapped back and hit him in the nose. Then his elbow connected with his stomach, twisting around as McBride got him on his back. “Aren’t you at least going to buy me dinner first?!” He spat, headbutting him as McBride got his gun in his hand. The others were recovering from the smoke that was clearing at this point. He pulled up his legs like he did with Gabriel and pushed McBride off of him with a hard kick.

                It gave him a moment to scramble upward- the gun he'd had long forgotten. Dirk did the only thing he could do with a group of guards on him… run. Gunfire rang out and as he slid down a hallway he could hear McBride shouting orders to kill him. Dirk ducked his head as bullets hit off the beams above him and the iron bars on both sides. An explosion ripped through the area ahead and he had to change directions to another hall that cross into his. It was a dead end… but had the rec room he had made the keys with there. Maybe he could hide? Unlikely, but it was his last option. He barricaded the door as soon as he was inside with whatever he could find. Immediately guards were trying to break it down and were pushing against it. He backed away, swallowing. No weapons were in here, he’d checked before. He swallowed, backing all the way to the farthest wall where he could feel a metal grate press against his shoulder. Dirk did a double take at it, then let out a half hysterical giggle in hope. The vent had almost all of it’s screws missing. The guards had the door half open and an arm snaked in with a gun. It started firing wildly and Dirk ducked long enough to avoid the bullets bouncing around him before getting the screw out. He hauled himself in, not even caring to replace the vent as he crawled. His knee bumped into something that was steel and it rolled around. He grabbed it without really looking and kept going.

                It only occurred to him how much he hated tight spaces until after he was in the vents for some time. He had no sense of direction, could hear hundreds of people screaming, and sometimes the vents he crossed into were incredibly hot. Sweat trickled down his back, and he brought up a dirty hand to brush droplets off his brow. He had a flashlight in his mouth at this point, too scared to have it turned off. After going a safe distance from the entrance of the vent where the guards were no doubt pissed beyond belief, he had looked at the object in his hand. It was obviously the thing Jenna had told him to look for. But how could she had known that there would be a screw driver in the vent? It didn’t make sense… but he knew he would need it to escape out of the vents too.   
  
                He rounded a corner the vents and let out a tiny scream seeing what was next to him. Dirk swallowed, looking at the decomposing body and covered his mouth a little too late. He gagged and shook his head, maggots were crawling everywhere and he backed out, bumping loudly as he did so. No wonder the inmates constantly complained about the smell in ‘A’ Block. He swallowed, searching the body with his flash light. It was a guard at one point, nothing left but bones really. Wires were in it’s hand and on the wall was a dried blood stain of the word ‘honk’. Not that the guards didn’t deserve it… but… from the look of how the skull was at that point, the guard had died with pieces of his brain in his hands. Definitely Gabriel’s handy work. Dirk swallowed, looking around and then at the screwdriver. Gabriel had been killing for a while and he’d just taken his way of getting around without the guards noticing… Gabriel was either in here with him… or stuck outside with everyone else. He didn’t know which worried him more. He moved on past the body, trying to ignore the smell that followed him. His hands and knees had dried blood on them now too. He stopped briefly at a vent opening to wedge it open with the screw driver to see out, grinning as he saw inmates running out of open cells below. “You fucking go, Kar.” He whispered, hearing something ahead and withdrew the screw driver to hold it like a weapon. “Shit…” He narrowed his eyes in the darkness, seeing whatever it was coming toward him.

xXx  
  


                “Well fuck me with a cactus and call me Saint Mary, that actually fucking worked,” Kar muttered, then realized what he said with a small shake of his head. He sat in the head chair, moving controls and switches to make a clear path for the inmates. The water had been cut off, so there was no chance in hell of stopping the fire. Kar typed in access codes that were written on a giant pad of paper beside each computer. They were so damn sure they could hold this position they hadn’t even put anyone inside just in case. Kar glanced at the cameras more than once, worried about Dirk who hadn’t shown up on any of the cameras for quite a while. He was probably dead… stupid fucking fool… His hands curled into fists at the thought, throat tightening. He wasn’t as good as Dirk was at balling up his emotions, but he had a moment to grieve so he was going to take it. That bastard should have come in here with him- he knew what he was doing with computers. Kar just relied on dumb luck and pushing a lot of buttons at once and very angrily. His teeth worried his bottom lip as he turned a camera outside the room where there were three guards arguing and pointing at the door. The visual didn’t have audio, and if it did, he had no idea how to turn it on.

                But the fire was getting worse: one block had entirely gone to hell. Most of the inmates had escaped outside and had either stolen buses or the guards own personal vehicles to escape. It was kind of hilarious. The guards were the ones standing around and bitching while the inmates were escaping… which he understood to be exactly the opposite of their plan. Kar estimated that probably eighty percent of the prisoners had escaped and that was more than enough in his mind. Those who hadn’t made it to in time or had been too stupid to leave were dead, and as he knew, there was definitely nothing you could do for those few. His mind briefly drifted to Evert as he flickered through the cameras, looking for the familiar blond. The other had put up so much of a fight leaving the prison for his own damn punishment that Kar highly doubted Evert would have left during the fire. He couldn’t really hate the man as much as he thought he should. Evert stuck to a strict since of morality and justice… a lot of people didn’t have any at all. He supposed that the other had good traits too. He was good at advice when he wanted to be. Kar frowned a little, wondering if he had really been the asshole throughout that entire relationship. He called him his friend once and Kar drew in a deep breath, apparently he had fucked up a lot of shit so far.

                There was a bang on the door and he jumped nearly out of the seat. He scrambled to flicker through the camera coverage of each room until it landed outside the door. Kar’s eyes widened a bit. “Speak of the fucking horse loving devil.” He whispered with a laugh and checked to make sure there were no guards around him before opening the door. “You fucking bastard!” He was grinning and Evert blinked, “You look… excited to see me?” Kar shrugged, “Well yeah, I thought you were dead with the rest of my friends. I’m glad to at least see one of you alive!” Evert paused before stepping inside the door now Kar could close it behind him. “Wait what happened to the guards outside?” Evert brought up his hand with his bloody knuckles. Kar smiled, “Bout time you put those to work. Have you seen Dirk?” Evert looked around them with a steady frown, “No. I inferred he was with you.” Kar shook his head, smile fading, “He… He distracted the guards to get me in here. After that he disappeared altogether. I found the guards that were after him but past that, nothing.” Evert went to the camera screens, looking for him himself. “Perhaps he’s hiding?” Kar shrugged, “It’s possible but why? The fucking building is burning down!”

                Evert stopped on solitary and pointed, “Because of that.” He told Kar over his shoulder and the other came closer, looking at the door open with a dead guard leaving a blood trail from inside to the out and ‘honk’ written on the floor. He hadn’t even thought to check solitary. “Holy shit he’s out.” He whispered and looked at Evert who nodded grimly. “Evert, we couldn’t get access because Gabriel destroyed the records room terminal. That’s why we’re in here in the first place! Gabriel could try to lock us in here- or worse.” Evert paused and rose up from the terminal he was looking at. “Then we suffer a fate we deserved.” Kar blinked at him before sighing, “Fine, let me put it in FUCKING words you UNDERSTAND.” He grabbed Evert’s face to make him look at him. “If Gabriel gets out- he’ll finish the job on Nadine! He’s not the one you owe your life to! If it’s anyone it’s me and Dirk!” Evert looked at him with narrowed eyes, “Explain.”  
  
                Kar swallowed and looked at him, “I’m the one who made the choice to take you and Nadine in. I blamed it on Gabriel because I didn’t want either of you owing me shit. Gabriel was too high out of his mind to even notice you both were there until a week later.” He crossed his arms, “You keep saying he was the leader of the household and you betrayed him or whatever- that’s bullshit. So if you want to owe someone, owe me. And you know how to repay me? Stop this shit! Stop this whole punishment thing on yourself! You don’t belong here for saving Nadine. None of us here need to be here. Grow a pair and help me find Dirk and get back to Nadine before Gabriel destroys the last things we actually give a shit about.” Evert opened his mouth, processing the information before nodding. “Alright.” He whispered and shifted, “I’ll find Gabriel. And look for Dirk.” He told him softly. Kar was surprised, but nodded taking in a deep breath to calm himself, “Good. Alright, find Gabriel on the cameras. Try to stay clear of him or box him in for the guards. As much as I hate saying this… he’s too far gone.”

xXx  
                  
                Dirk wiped the dead rat’s blood off of him. He was a cross between completely grossed out and relieved that it had _only_ been a giant rat. The thing truly was quite large, he noted, continuing on his crawl down the vents. He could see a more open shaft ahead of him. It was larger and had little vents off to the side he could look out of. He turned off the flashlight, saving what battery life the little thing had left in it. His back, neck and knees were aching from moving through such a confined space. Glancing out of the vent as he passed revealed a few rooms that were on fire below. He was lucky that the vents were at least a little closed to not allow too much smoke in if any at all. That was probably thanks to Kar… who probably stopped air circulation throughout the building to suffocate the fire. It would have been a great plan if the guards hadn’t put barrels full of what he guessed was gas around the building. At this point it was as bad as a chemical fire- and damn near unstoppable.

                His ears pricked as he passed one nearly completely closed vent and lowered himself a little to see out of it. His eyes narrowed at the sight of Mindfang pressed up against the wall of her office by her neck, none other than Dualscar holding her there. Dirk looked down at the vent to look for screws but found this style of vent bolted shut. He swore softly, looking back through as Dualscar squeezed. “You don’t think I know why you were sent here?! Are you the one who did this? Did you do this to turn her against me?!” Mindfang had her real hand around his, her blue nails biting into his skin. Her teeth were bared at him and he bit his own lip. He could break through the vent but… Mindfang snarled back at him, “You should look at your own crew, you moron! I have done nothing to you but keep you in line so nothing does happen to you! If you anger either of them you do it by your own foolishness!” She gagged as he slammed against the wall and growled, eyes narrowing at her. “I would gut you and let you burn to death than suffer your _protection._ You’re nothing but a filthy half-bit whore who had no business with me.” She smirked dangerously, “That’s not what you said last night, chum-breath.” He raised a hand to hit her and she head butted him, sending him backing up to round house kick him in the face, knocking him into the window her office. The glass broke and fell around him. She walked over to him, Dirk’s mouth completely hanging open in shock at how quickly she had turned the tables. Mindfang heel stomped the hell out of his leg, causing him to scream in pain. “Your dick belongs in your pants. Not in your personality, Oliver.” She hissed at him and twisted her heel to hear a sickening snap of his knee. “Burn, like you let so many others do.” And she was out of the room with a flash of her white coat.

                Dirk stayed there, seeing the fire spread into the room and Dualscar pull himself up, blood dripping from what he figured to be a broken leg. For a moment he wondered if he should help him… then remembered what he had done and turned his head. His sense of justice had certainly changed. Giving one last glance at Dualscar, who was screaming in vain for Mindfang to come back and finish what she started. He moved on, before the man found out he had an audience hidden inside the vent behind him. Dirk picked his way over more left over bones and made another few turns before he saw another unscrew-able vent he could fit through. His pace quickened and stopped dead, seeing perfectly through this one. When he had first seen Evert on the other side, he had been extremely happy about it… but he then spotted Gabriel on the other side of the room.

                Dirk had no idea how Gabriel made a bow in a prison but recognized how he had twisted two slivers of metal into a bow like shape… and then used either hair of victims or himself, maybe even sheet threads or human- Dirk swallowed, staring at the made weapon and his eyes looked back at who was completely unaware of the crazed troll behind him. Evert pointed the way out for a few stragglers that hadn’t found it yet. There was a roaring fire around them and both had sheens of sweat on their brow. Dirk banged on the vent, trying to get it loose but neither of them noticed his attempt. “God damn it, Evert, behind you!” He screamed, hitting it again to feel one of the screws come loose.   
                  
                Dirk fumbled with the screw driver, glancing up in horror as Gabriel took out a sliver of metal that had a pointed tip and aimed it just right at Evert’s knee. The Native American let out a scream and grabbed the side of the wall for support, the metal going through his thigh. He tried not to swear as he supported himself as Gabriel cocked his head to the side with a wicked smile. Dirk felt the screws had been too used to get off, and started kicking the vent instead- trying to get the cover off no matter what it took. Gabriel grinned at him as he stood above him, hissing out the words, "Mother fucking, KNEEL."

                “Remember what he did last time- come on man-!” Dirk growled, kicking the vent hard enough to knock another screw loose. Evert snarled at Gabriel, blue eyes blazing, he shook his head. Dirk yelled out a cheer as the man rose up against Gabriel. "I will not kneel to you!" He rushed him, snapping the bow in half as he aimed at him again. Gabriel roared at Evert, kicking him in the knee and forcing him to kneel in front of him. Evert fell like a tree, coming to his hands and knees. Gabriel snatched up the broken bow and took advantage of the kneeling position. Another screw came loose and Dirk let out a roar of his own, not even bothering with the last screw but kicking with both feet.  
   
                Evert felt the bow string come around his throat. Dirk finally got the vent cover off, making a mad dash for them both as Gabriel tightened it around his throat and pulled. Evert's fingers were inside the string trying to give him room to breathe. But Gabriel's foot was pushing the arrow deeper in his leg and Evert couldn't break the strings without Gabriel breaking his neck. His pupils expanded in fear as Gabriel grinned down at him. Evert's teeth showed as he tried to gasp for air. Dirk put all of his weight into tackling Gabriel, knocking them hard enough to send them both tumbling. He hadn’t known they were on the fourth floor- and didn’t account for the railing being a few feet from where Evert was kneeled. The man gasped for breath, turning his head just in time to see Dirk and Gabriel both going over the railing together. Dirk would have been able to catch himself if Gabriel's hand  hadn’t reached back and grabbed a hand full of Dirk's hair to drag him down with him.

                He had forgotten about the noose that lay still abandoned on the third floor railing that Gabriel caught with one hand, swinging from it for a moment before climbing back up to level ground. Dirk unfortunately… wasn’t so lucky. The second floor had a maintenance ladder hanging on the outer side of the second floor railing. With no other option than falling to his death by impact or fire, Dirk reached out his hand to catch the ladder and felt his arm come completely out of its socket. A agonized scream tore itself out of his throat, even as he grasped the rung with his other hand as well, tears pricking at his eyes from the pain. Hugging the ladder for all he's worth, Dirk coughed, the smoke from the fire below filling his lungs and choking him. Images of the flames so close to him was giving him horrible flashbacks of Nathanial and the fire. He coughed again, looking up to see Gabriel grinning down, who must have thought the scream he had let out was him dying… Dirk held on, trying to breath as the smoke rose and suffocated him. He didn’t see an escape this time.

 


	24. I'll Run

                “You son of a bitch!” Kar roared, gun shaking in his hand as he looked at Gabriel who had just climbed over the railing. He had been waiting for Dirk and watching Evert on the security cameras when he had seen what Gabriel had done. Immediately he’d run out of the room, going after Gabriel hopefully before he finished the job on Evert. He had seen Dirk and Gabriel go falling to their deaths just as he climbed the stairs to get to this floor, only to see the bastard who had probably murdered Evert and now Dirk climb back over the railing.

                The ceiling had crashed down behind him and now he was staring at his once closest friend in his life smile at him like he was deranged. Kar had to remember that he was just that, _deranged_. “You killed Evert, you killed Dirk- You killed those guards and inmates. Solomon too! You nearly killed me and Nadine. What the hell happened to you?! We were friends! More!” He yelled at him as Gabriel rose to his full height, watching him with a twisted mouth.

                “What the FUCK happened to my BEST FRIEND?!” The other ran at him and Kar swallowed, shooting off the gun a few times aiming it at him with a shaking hand. One grazed his thigh; another grazed his hair, leaving a black curl to land on the floor in his wake. Kar backed up as he kept firing the weapon until Gabriel slapped it out of his hand with bruising force. Gabriel latched onto him, throwing and then holding up him flat against the wall. “A motherFUCKING miracle is what happened. I see it all… All in my motherFUCKING mind...” He whispered into his ear and Kar bared his teeth, pinned against the wall by the other- one of Gabriel’s hands was wrapped in his shirt, the other held his free hand against the wall. “This isn’t you, Gabe-! This isn’t you!” He tried to reason with him, trying to worm himself away at the same time.

                “No- Not Gabriel-…” He growled at Kar, hissing the name out. “Gamzee.” Kar did double take, looking up at him with dilated eyes. The name brought horrible images to his mind. _Gamzee._

                Before he could speak the man threw him across the expansion of the floor until he was up against the railing. Kar shook himself, reaching up the grab the railing for support as he rose back up. The smoke was below him and he swallowed hard looking back at Gabriel, or Gamzee, whatever he called himself. “Please…” He whispered and the taller reached down to pick up the gun that lay abandoned on now his side of the room. He opened the magazine with scarily practiced movements to check the ammo and his smile reformed on his face when looking at Kar.

                “Don’t worry, BEST FRIEND. I’ll make you see the MOTHERFUCKING miracles TOO.” He laughed, aiming and firing full blast, twice, at Kar’s chest. Kar jerked and cried out in pain as two bullets hit him square in the chest.  If he had been wearing his shirt with his cancer symbol on it, it would have been perfectly through the holes. He gagged, tensing up to the point he could barely move. He slammed against the railing, barring his teeth as Gabriel walked toward the near screaming Kar and picked him up by his shirt collar. He held him out over the railing and Kar barely gagged out his name before he dropped him over the side into the flames below.

xXx

                Dirk heard the gunshots and looked up from his place hugging the service ladder. The flames were very close now and he hadn’t the will nor the want to climb upward to prolong his death from them. His orange eyes were leaking from the strain and the pain running through his chest. They were blurry as he saw the bottom of Kar’s shoes hanging over the edge of the railing before dropping closer toward him. His brain refused to process that for a moment, wondering if Kar was trying to come and save him of all things.

                Time moved in slow motion then as he realized someone was holding him over the edge. Gabriel had climbed up… he was still psychotic and that meant that- _“Oh no.”_ His thought was barely above a whisper in his own mind as Kar came falling towards him.

                His brain seemed to malfunction and he saw doomed timelines and horror stories flash in front of him. Dirk choked, seeing them like a picture book, flashing in front of his eyes as Kar fell.

                Kar was falling faster, gravity pulling him toward his death. As he fell almost past him, it wasn’t Kar that Dirk was reaching out for. It was Jenna… and Jake, and Roxy and Jane… it was his sanity.

He wedged his wrist into the rungs of the ladder and swung himself out to catch Kar. With his nails in Kar’s wrist, Dirk let out a cry of pain when he caught him. He felt his already wrecked shoulder strain horribly, pulling from where it was wedged into the ladder with numb and painfully tingling fingers gripped onto metal pieces. Kar hung limply there and the blond pulled him up, screaming with exertion. “I’m not letting go- I’m NOT letting GO!” He told himself out loud, “I’m not losing someone else- I won’t let go.” He drew blood from his lip, biting it so hard to pull Kar’s dead weight up with one arm while he was nearly hanging off the ladder himself, knowing he’d have a scar on his wrist from the ladder after this. If he survived, that is.

                “Come on- Come on!” He screamed, putting even more effort into pulling him up. Finally he managed the feat, wrapping his arm around Kar’s chest to hold the other tightly to him. “Fu-Fuck…” He breathed hard, coughing in the smoke. “I’ve got you.” In the back of his mind, he knew the unconscious man couldn't hear him, but Dirk didn’t want to think that the gun shots had been at Kar, or that he was holding onto a very dead friend at the moment. Swallowing, and then coughing fiercely, he wished he had a hand free to wipe the tears away. The fire below roared ever larger, sucking up the oxygen around them and replacing it with suffocating smoke.

                As if his luck couldn’t get worst, the ladder started to shift with the new added weight. He was heavy enough, but adding someone who was almost his height and not quite his weight was too much. It groaned and Dirk quickly put Kar over the shoulder that wasn’t damaged and reached up to grab the bottom bar of the railing to the second floor. He didn’t consider this prolonging his life anymore, but saving someone else’s. It wasn’t the best place to climb up from- especially carrying someone. He coughed again, shaking as he couldn’t get his wrist out from the ladder now. He’d wedged himself in too well. Dirk looked between Kar and the ladder, feeling his wrist pulling as the ladder pulled away the hinges it was hanging on farther from the wall they were screwed into. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck-!” He tugged with every word. He felt the ladder start to go and Dirk shoved Kar upward over the railing with all his strength. The other man fell over and rolled out away from it and he reached down to free his wrist with as much haste as he could muster after such an effort.

                It was a miracle in itself he’d gotten himself loose, but horrible irony that it gave as soon as he did it. Dirk caught himself by his fingertips on the bottom edge of the second floor’s platform. He swung there, other arm hanging by his side and he tried to move it, but it didn’t come willingly and he had to stop. The blond felt his fingers slipping and looked down at the fire that had almost melted the bottom of his shoes. He coughed, feeling a finger go and he tried to pull himself up with no avail. He was just too damn tired… He looked for anything he could use to pull himself up, anything he could use to save himself but found nothing. He yelled for Kar but no one came. With his luck, Kar was dead and soon he would be too. Dirk shut his eyes at the last fingers gave and he sucked in a breath. Preparing himself for the horrible plunge to skin melting agony.

                A strong hand came around his just as the last finger gave and his eyes snapped open to see scorching blue look down at him. “Don’t tell me a little fire has you throwing in the towel, Strider!” Mindfang snarled pulling him up, her heeled boots giving her leverage against the railing as she pulled him up for him to haul himself over. “Thank you.” He coughed and she stayed low, looking at his arm. “How’d you find me?” She shook her head, hand hovering over it and then poking it for him to cry out. She muttered that he had dislocated his arm badly, “All the screaming in pain was an obvious marker.” The woman replied and wiped her brow with her hand, “We need to leave, right now! I’ll put your arm back in when we aren’t in mortal danger.” Dirk nodded, standing with a hard swallow. He felt like he wanted to puke. “Sounds good to me! Kar’s hurt though and I can’t carry him.”

                Mindfang looked at the man on the ground and the bullet holes in his shirt, she didn’t even stop to examine him walking right past him toward the stairs. “Leave him and move on. We don’t have time.” Dirk shook his head, “No, he’s going or I’m not!” Mindfang nearly snarled back that that was perfectly fine by her before seeing the look on his face. “Damn- if a corpse gets me killed.” She hissed, picking up the inmate with a grunt and Dirk helped support Kar’s weight on one side despite the pain increasing in his chest. “Hurry- down the stairs and to the underground tunnel.”

                He didn’t ask why a prison had an underground tunnel, just more than happy to be out of the way of the flames for now. The back of his mind told him it was because it was a mental hospital at one time and it lead to other places in the compound but he didn’t focus on the thought. It was a way out and that was all that mattered. Dirk picked up the pace, getting down the stairs to stop short of a burning pile of rubbish and debris from the ceiling. “It’s blocked!” He yelled at her who called back, the entire place was so loud it was dulling their hearing. “I can see that- Back up the stairs! If we can get to another floor we can go down another set!” He turned to get almost back where they were before more of the ceiling came crashing down. The smoke- and now dust from the rubble- could barely be seen through now. Mindfang swore again, stomping out a piece of her coat that had caught flame. He could barely breathe and he had lost Mindfang even though he felt her tugging on Kar now and then, still carrying him. “I can’t see- anything-!” He hacked, feeling his breath cut off completely. Suffocating was never a thing he ever wanted to do.

                Either burning to death or suffocating; two ways he never wanted to die. That and drowning- but at the moment he’d praise the squid god if the sprinklers turned on at the moment. “Mind- fang-“ He called out as he felt her weight drop and Kar’s drag him down. The smoke was a little thinner but not by much. He had heard that fire rarely killed people and it was really the smoke that got them. He couldn’t help but wonder if that was what was happening to him and felt himself drained. _“I have to stay awake… I have to get out…”_ Dirk slid down the wall to the staircase. The entire world was burning around him, just like the time with Nathanial… His mind flickered back to reading the Bible that the inmate left. It said that the world would end in fire… was that what was going on? His world was ending?

                Rocks and rubble flew past his head as a fist came through the wall. He put his energy into leaning away from the wall as another fist came through and soon the wall had a gaping hole in it. Evert stood there- bruised around the neck, but very muscular and very much alive. “Did you- just punch through- a fucking WALL?” Dirk gagged out and Evert picked up Kar, dragging Dirk to his feet- the smoke flooded into the new room it had access too but allowed fresh air to reach Dirk’s lungs. The Native American dragged Mindfang out too in the other hand much to her distaste. Dirk looked up at Evert who was narrowed eyed and bruised around his face too.

                “Is there an exit the way you came?” The taller nodded, “Yes, but I wanted to make sure you all were dead before I left. I’m glad I… was curious.” Dirk couldn’t help but smile for a moment, “Yeah, me too, buddy.” He hacked again and Mindfang stood slowly, hand on her chest. “Thank you, Evert.” He replied with an only simple nod, Kar still tossed over his shoulder like a rag doll. “Let’s get while the getting is good.” Dirk stood shakily, moving toward the open door Evert had apparently came through before. He ran as best as he could with the others as pieces of ceiling literally crashed down behind them.

                They were nearing the exit- and what a beauty it was. The doors were open and the guards around it were either too wounded to stop them, dead, or trying to extinguish the fires around them without any head way. Dirk let Mindfang pause beside him to jam his shoulder back into place and he swore hard enough to make a sailor blush in his boots. Mindfang tugged him along, Dirk only just managing to keep up- Evert right behind them with Kar still on his shoulder. They ran into a gate though, locked tight and freedom lay beyond. In actuality it was just the visitation center, but it lead to a hallway with an exit to a parking lot and the main doors to the prison. “Move, I can unlock it with my keycard.” She pushed passed him and reached into her pocket- and kept reaching.

                Her lips went into a thin line as she found nothing, and heard the sound of a gun safety click off behind them. Dirk hissed slowly through his teeth, turning around as everyone else did to a guard. “Stop right there, or I’ll shoot.” He had just a hint of an accent to him, and his eyes were tense from behind the gun’s sight. It didn’t shake though in the slightest. “Let us pass.” Mindfang ordered and the gun didn’t lower. “Sorry doctor, but no prisoners are allowed outside that gate. I have orders.”

                Mindfang snorted, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Great, so we’ll stand here all day and wait until you grow a pair and realize that your employers are quite the crazy bastards that we all thought they were. The warden is dead. And you’re either going to have to shoot me or release me and my charges. Make your decision quick because I haven’t got all day.” The guard narrowed his eyes, hearing things break and burn behind him. After a moment’s pause, the guard put the weapon away and walked toward her. Dirk looked at the nametag of the man and breathed out slowly. _Summonson._ “Don’t go out the main doors then if you’re trying to escape. There are guards waiting outside for stragglers.” He told her, moving around to look at her briefly before going to pull out his own keycard to scan it behind her. It opened and he held it for them, “Go to the left, there is a side exit to cars for guards. Hopefully they aren’t all taken yet.”

                Mindfang looked up at him briefly, recognizing how close he was before walking past him and down the other hallway. “You better come along. We might need your weapon and they won’t look kindly at you for helping us.” Mindfang told him, brushing past him with eyes flickering back up to meet his chocolate eyes. They didn’t have much a choice but to trust him at the moment. The other hallway led into a door that actually did lead out into the parking-lot. There were several cars that were overturned or missing, some were on fire from things exploding from the building. There was even an oil barrel that landed off to the side and was still rolling hazardously.

                “Come on, come on…” Mindfang told them, ducking down as they went toward a car that still looked intact. Some of the guards were patrolling nearby, looking around for inmates who had managed to escape. As they crouched, Dirk had a sudden feeling strike through his chest. So strong that he nearly doubled over. Evert paused to look at the blond who was barely holding himself up on all fours, “What’s wrong?” He asked and Dirk shook his head, “Go on- I-…”

                He looked at an overturned bus off to the side. The feeling was coming from there- he could feel something so powerful it radiated through his entire body. A soul- a heart- someone was in there. “Go on. I need to do something. Wait for me at the car.” Evert paused before simply nodding and Dirk went toward the vehicle. Normally new prisoners would come there via this bus, or out to their work assignments.

                He could feel a presence there that was so enthralling that he felt his entire body being drawn to it. There was no way to see movement inside but the he _knew_ there was someone there. Dirk noticed the back of the bus was actually on fire- which worried the shit out of him why he was willing to go into this literally burning Molotov. He waved Evert forward to keep going before making a mad dash for the metal heap hoping bullets wouldn't meet him there from the patrol- the flames were rapidly spreading over it too. He shook his head seeing the bodies that lay around the bus. Apparently it had crashed or something similar, he wasn’t trying to play Crime Scene Investigation at the moment. His shoulder hurt an incredible amount, but… he wedged both hands between the hot metal doors and he shoved them apart. He stood in the main aisle of the bus after jumping another body on the stairs. He looked back toward the end of the bus, seeing a man there that was struggling against his bonds that had been caught on one of the seats bars when the bus had flipped over. It made him hang there by his wrists and he had wounds on his torso.

                He was pale and looked remarkably like an older Kar. He had dark hair and red eyes that blurrily opened to look at him through the heat waves and rising smoke. Dirk immediately went forward, seeing the man look back at him. His shackles around his wrists were caught and they were so red they must have been superheated. There were burns around the other man's wrists so bad he was starting to see tendons. Dirk jumped a few of the seats, careful to avoid the fires as he rushed to get to him. "Don't! You'll get burned!" The other told him in pain, hissing as he tried to pull his hands out only to make it worse. Dirk continued his advance forward him-

                Suddenly he was half caught in a vision of a place he had never been before. He heard screaming of a thousand different voices and saw a troll in front of him. The man blinked, like he was seeing it too. Candy red blood came out of wounds on his torso and he could see the blood drip down and make patterns in the dirt. The troll looked at him like he was afraid but defiant; Dirk stared for a moment, knowing what he had to do.

                Dirk knew what this was from the troll's history- he was in the middle of the execution of the Sufferer. The rest of the world was blurred around them, but he could see a few clearly—a mother, a friend, a lover—all there in outrage and sorrow. But the images were almost like they were in film grain, two realities that were bleeding into each other. His eyes connected with the man's as he climbed the hill leading up to the Sufferer, walking against a force that he couldn't place; almost like gravity had increased on him, but he fought against it until he reached him.

                Eyes watched him as he pushed against the force that held him back, reaching him and bringing up his hands up to break the bonds around the other’s wrists. He felt searing pain in his hands as they burnt their marks into his palms, but he did not let go until they came apart. They split in half perfectly, making the sign of cancer. The vision disappeared in a whirlwind and the screams of pain and anguish were quelled. The screams of agony of family and friends died and replaced with relief- like the entire world had been relieved of its pain. Dirk felt deep inside his heart... that he done something that had changed the course of history as he knew it. Now he just had to survive this.   
  
                He grabbed a handful of the other’s jacket that he was wearing, dragging him upward from the ground where the Signless had collapsed from the vision. Kankri had been the Seer of Blood, so Dirk had no doubt that everything Dirk had just witnessed, the other man had as well. He pulled him with him out of the bus and into the parking-lot to pull him down as the bus exploded. The man looked up at the bus, and then looked at Dirk. “What was that?!” He asked him, out of breath and Dirk shook his head.

                “Save one, save a thousand more!” The other furrowed his brow, asking him what he meant before Mindfang drove up beside them. “Get in before I have the guard run you over for making me wait!” She screeched and Dirk sighed, peeling himself off the pavement. Looking over the car hood he could see the patrol heading towards them. “Calm your tits.”

                Dirk looked at the Signless who was looking at a group of inmates who were leaving the building and were about to get caught by the guards too. “Come with us- We’ll get you to safety.” Dirk told him and the other man shook his head, “No, go on. Thank you for saving me. I’ll find my own way. Go, before she does what she says she will.” Dirk nodded, looking at the other inmates that were confused and unsure where to go. “Good luck.” He slid into the car, tires screeching as soon as the door was shut, Summonson driving them away. He glanced back, seeing the Signless get all of the other inmates into another car, to just barely escape the guard’s patrol. He knew he’d saved him… but honestly didn’t know what that meant in terms for what he just did to alter reality as a whole. He sat back; eyes tired but breathed a sigh of relief.   
  
                "Is your neck alright?" Dirk asked Evert after a while. He taken the passenger seat as the guard drove off, and Mindfang joined Evert in the back with Kar now she could tend to his wounds. Dirk could clearly see the line and the little trickles of blood from where the skin had gotten bruised from the force they were fighting over. Evert looked up at him through the rearview mirror, "It could have been a lot worse." Behind them one wing of the prison blew-up and Summonson swore, swerving a bit from the force behind them. Dirk nodded grimly, knowing all too well what neck wounds did to people.

                "Yes, yes, he’s fine. Who are you anyway? I don't remember your name on the rosters." Mindfang said to the guard who glanced into the mirror, "Intake Officer Summonson." The woman stopped, frowning as she turned her head a little toward him, in the middle of getting Kar’s shirt unbuttoned. "You have a first name, Summonson?" The guard paused, looking back into the mirror with a brief glance to look back into her deep sea blue eyes. "...Rufioh. My name is Rufioh.” Dirk looked up at him for a moment and broke Mindfang’s confused and concerned look on her face to ask how Kar was doing. She shook herself, opening up the shirt farther that she was holding. Her eyebrows rose, “I didn’t know he was wearing a bulletproof vest. He’ll be severely bruised from the impact of the bullets, but he'll live.” Mindfang removed two slugs from the vest and examined them before tossing them onto the floorboards of the vehicle. They lapsed into silence as the crumpled bullets made twangs as they hit the metal of the seats in front of them.

                “Where are we going?” Rufio asked after a bit, still driving fast, but seeing an intersection coming up in the distance. He glanced up at the mirror to look at Mindfang again. No one replied for a few moments before Evert leaned forward slightly. He breathed out a word that no one in the car would admit they hadn’t heard in a long time, “Home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credits for this chapter will be in chapter 26 or 27. Special thanks to Aelfrey for all the editing for these last chapters. <3


	25. Home

_“Police are asking all the prisoners of this establishment to please stay hidden until an official announcement has been made. As you can see behind me, local fire departments are still uncovering bodies and fuel barrels, leading us to believe that there is foul play involved with this arson and murder of multiple employees and prisoners at this establishment. We have heard from several people that have escaped the facility that if it hadn’t been for two, or possibly three, unnamed prisoners, the death toll, which is surprisingly low, would have been far, far worse. No one has come forward yet to take credit for this act of heroism. Many of the prisoners that were inside have been recently proven innocent by Vincent McClure, the leading lawyer for the trial that started the ‘Justice for Jenna’ campaign, who has been working with the current DA, Tiffany Phillips, to bring all those who were wronged or have done wrong, to justice. Speaking of the ‘Justice for Jenna’ campaign, there is no official statement that has been made concerning why the fire was started, what happened a week ago with the all-out execution of prisoners lead by Dirk Strider in his non-violent reveal of what recently came to light, and also no word on said man on whether he is still alive. The warden, Oliver Durante, has refused to make any sort of statement as well. Our hearts and prayers go out to all who were victimized by this horrible incident. This is Fiona Petranelli reporting for CNB News.”_

xXx

                She wet his hair down before doing his bangs slowly and carefully. The pair of scissors in her hand didn’t stray too close to his face as the television continued in the next room, switching to a commercial when the news broadcast had ended. Dirk couldn’t help but shut his eye that was closest to the silvery object. “Don’t worry, you’re going to look just purrfect.” Nadine smiled to him, her short pixie black hair was styled very cutely, and he’d been assured by Kar that she would have been a hair stylist in her last life. Dirk didn’t usually let anyone but himself touch his hair, either that or his three friends. He honestly did get along with the girl though, she reminded him of Roxy and that was probably the reason why he’d allowed it in the first place. Perhaps it was just the love of cats that he found so similar.

                It had been three days since Mindfang and Rufioh had dropped them off at Kar’s old house. Theo and Nadine had been up already regardless of the late time and had immediately welcomed them in without question. Where the other two had wandered off to, Dirk didn’t want to know. With as much history passed between them in their last lives, he couldn’t really gauge what possibilities were more likely to happen than not. Since then, the news constantly played on the television to have some sort of permanent connection to the outside world. Evert and Kar were both quiet, just as much as Dirk was. They accepted him strangely enough, and he pulled his weight with the chores. It had been this morning when Kar had tugged on his sleeve and asked if he wanted a haircut. Thus leading to his current position underneath Nadine’s near-loving ministrations. Kar sat not too far away with his own hair much shorter than it had been. Dirk had decided to get rid of the soul patch that was starting to take over his chin, too, besides the haircut. As much as he liked looking like an adult, he didn’t want to scare the shit out of Jake and the others when he came back more than the piercings and tattoos already would.

                He had to borrow some of Gabriel’s clothing to wear around the house too. Evert’s clothing had been too large for him, Kar and Theo’s too small, and Nadine had almost nothing but cute shorts and skirts. And as much as he liked a breeze, he didn’t want to get arrested for cross-dressing on the way home. Speaking of clothes, it was extremely odd to see Evert in a tank-top and shorts, and Kar in a pair of jeans and a hoodie. True, he didn’t expect them to stay in their orange jumpsuits—but it was still so strange to see them out of their prison uniforms. He was one to talk, since he was sitting there in a pair of converse shoes, black jeans and an black t-shirt that had the words ‘high on life, bro’. It wasn’t his choice, but it worked better than being naked.

                Nadine finished up shaving the back of his neck and showed him in the mirror. His eyebrows rose slowly at his image. “Wow, you really are good at doing hair.” He complimented sliding a hand through his new feathery blond hair. It was almost exactly like his old style except it had more side burns to it and in his opinion, laid better in the back now it didn’t look like he had a cowlick. He offered her a small smile and she chuckled, “Don’t doubt me, Dirk. I’ll purrove you wrong efurry time!”

                Dirk grinned then, most thought she just had a small speech impediment, but he knew it was her speech style just fading in from the old days. It still didn’t lack its cuteness. “I'll do well to remember that. Thanks for the cut.” She nodded, sweeping the pile of blond, black and brown—since Tavros had gotten his tiny Mohawk trimmed a little—into the wastebasket. Kar moved over to be between Evert and Dirk to watch the television as the blond came into the room. They were all watching other channels covering the destruction, but none of them had any sort of idea what actually happened inside those walls. CNS seemed to have the most knowledge for some reason, and the reporter looked oddly familiar to Dirk, though he couldn’t place her.

                “When were you thinking of returning to your home?” Evert asked suddenly and Kar gave him a look. Dirk glanced over at him, but didn’t take offense to the words. Evert had a forthright way about him most of the time, and rarely meant any malice behind it. “Worn out my welcome?” Kar shot him a look, now, but Evert shook his head. “No. I was curious if you are returning at all or if we had to make arrangements to get you back into the city without causing alarm. You have a very… _memorable_ face.” Nadine came to sit in the armchair beside a sleeping Tavros, who was knocked out cold from the pain medication for his legs. Apparently there was an accident when he was a child that had severed his spine and it still hurt from time to time. “What he means is, we want to keep you safe to get home!” She smiled and Dirk nodded, “I figured, I understand Evert-ese.” The Native American grunted but said nothing to that. “I can find my own way back. I’ll walk it. No one thinks I’m alive, so unless I go streaking through the streets screaming who I am I won’t attract attention.”

                There was a pause, “I’ll leave either tonight or tomorrow morning. I’ve got a couple things to do before I head…” The word was heavy on his lips, “Home.” Would they still be waiting? Would they take him back after everything he had done in the prison? Sure, his hallucinations were forgiving but _he_ was the one who created them. All the apologies and fighting and mental battles had truly been inside his head. Which made him nervous about coming home to perhaps an empty apartment. Then he really wouldn’t know what to do then. Kar shrugged, “Don’t have to go.” He said softly, “We’ve got two spare rooms and it’s not like we’re pushing you to leave.” Dirk turned his head a little to look at him and Kar avoided his gaze by locking his eyes on the television. “I’ll remember that… but I’ve got my own family to take care of.” Kar looked at him a bit sadly before nodding, “Responsibilities are for the fucking birds.” He grunted and got up, “Who wants food? I want food.”

                Dirk looked between the other two who frowned in return. They all knew Kar was having a bit of trouble readjusting to life outside the prison… and that included Dirk leaving. He stood slowly, going to the kitchen doorway down the hallway from the living room. “Hey.” He whispered and Kar stopped searching the cabinets for something to chew on. “What?” Kar replied, mildly irritated already. Dirk walked to him, uncrossing his arms to hug the other from behind. He rested his chin on Kar’s shoulder. Kar gripped the cabinet doors and shut his eyes. “I’m sorry.” He murmured and Kar sighed angrily, “Why are you fucking sorry? I’m the one who can’t fucking figure myself out.”

                Dirk pulled back to turn Kar around and look him in the eye. “You’re Kar. That’s who you are. You survived something horrible. It’s time to rebuild what you had and make it better.” Kar looked a little taken aback by that and looked away then. His voice was small, “I don’t feel that way though.” He looked back at Dirk, “You know more about this shit than you let on.” Kar brought up his hand to brush through his hair, “Even if you aren’t with me I hope that guy you’re going back to is going to help you battle… whatever the hell it is that you’re fighting.” Kar shrugged, “I’ve just… got to find a place to pick up again at.”

                Dirk shook his head, “Don’t try to pick up where you left off. It doesn’t work. Fix the things that are broken- relationships, people, friends, whatever. Then move on. It’s a hell of a lot easier on your health.” Kar briefly smiled at that and he drew in a brief breath of air before leaned up to kiss Dirk gently on the lips. It wasn’t passionate, or asking him for something more than he was willing to give. Kar was simply saying goodbye the only way he could manage at the moment. His hand was still in his hair, “Be fucking careful out there, Strider. They aren’t as nice as we are.” He gestured his head toward Evert and Nadine, who were talking quietly. Nadine had such a look on her face that Dirk had to smile. “I will.” He pulled away from him and Kar let out a breath as he left. There was a pause before Kar jerked, “Oh shit, I forgot.” He turned to open up a drawer full of random crap before pulling out a notepad. He flipped through it before ripping out a piece of paper and handing it to him. “This is a chick Sol and I ran into a few days before Gabe… you know.” He sighed, “She called herself the Handmaiden. I don’t know if it means anything but she talked a whole fuckton about how someone who was going against the world would need her help, and I have this feeling you fit the bill. Who knows though? She’s probably just a Japanese pornstar or some shit.”

                Dirk looked at the address before nodding, “Probably.” He smiled at the thought, “Thank you, Kar.” He blinked slowly at him before Kar sighed running his own hand through his hair tiredly, “Just stay for dinner, and then get the fuck out of here, dipshit.” Dirk nodded, “Alright. I can manage that.” Kar muttered that he better or he’d get Nadine to tie him up and started cooking with his help. Even if they weren’t romantically involved, they had developed a friendship that he could honestly say that he valued and would miss. They ate together in the living room on different sized plates and in different positions. It was getting late by that point and Nadine helped Theo to his room, Evert checked the house security- making sure no one had compromised their residence (his words, not theirs), Kar walked him out to the road. It was cold, and the night air swirling around them causing Kar to shiver a bit, looking at the streetlights in the far distance leading into Austin. “Sure you want to do this?” Dirk sighed, “I have to go back home-.” Kar shook his head, interrupting him softly, “No… not that. Taking on whatever you plan on taking on.” Dirk shrugged, “I don’t have a choice.”

                Kar laughed, “There is always a fucking choice, numbnuts! We might not know all the possibilities right now, but we sure as hell always have a choice.” The blonde shifted in the night air, orange hoodie barely keeping him warm as it was. “Then I’m making the choice to live. Now the lives that aren’t being lived yet will have that chance, too.” He answered him and Kar nodded, his red eyes focused on him. “Good. Keep it that way will you?” Kar turned and headed toward the house, “Good luck, Dirk.” The blond smiled at him, starting to walk, “You too, Kar.”

xXx

                He didn’t go straight home. Dirk didn’t know whether he was trying to postpone it or was actually trying to lay to rest the demons in the back of his mind. Sure, he would still have a lot of them, but going to these places, he’d at least rest his mind for a while. He back tracked through the last several months- almost a year and a half by his count. The club was the first place he went and had to smile a bit as it was quiet for once. It was four in the morning, and even the most hardcore party goers were relaxing. He ordered the first alcoholic drink he’d had since that night. The bartender didn’t recognize him in the slightest and he drank slowly from his beer. Honestly he didn’t really care for the taste. It was like bitter foam, but the effects warmed him considerably from the outside air. He watched the people around him chat or smoke; this was one of the few places left that still let customers smoke inside. Dirk finished his beer and paid with the small amount of money that Kar had loaned him for a cab. He wasn’t going to bother using the rest, but did plan to send it back to them with interest when he ‘came back from the dead’ officially and got his spare funds back.

                He eventually headed towards Nathanial’s home. It was a long walk and by midday he had peeled off the hoodie to tie around his waist, still walking to his destination. Near ten months since he had been in the area had dulled his memory, but eventually through the twists and turns of the road, he found the place again. Dirk licked his lips, feeling a pain settle deep inside his chest seeing the charred remains of the residence that still stood there. There was almost nothing left besides the wreckage that stuck out of the ground and went too deep for whoever had spent time cleaning this place up to dig out. The blond carefully walked towards it, putting a bandaged hand onto a side of pillar that still stood. One arm was wrapped tightly to try to help his dislocated shoulder. He’d taken off the brace a day before he left to keep his arm in place. He stepped carefully though, not wanting to add any more injuries to his list. There were gaping holes in the foundation where the basement he’d been trapped in had collapsed in on itself. Dirk worked his way around it before finding an opening and jumping down, eyes instantly adjusting to the low light. He wanted to find one thing in particular… but he’d never admit it to himself.

                Dirk walked through the underground chambers that were mostly collapsed and destroyed by the fire he’d set. He didn’t go anywhere he wasn’t at least half sure that wouldn’t come down on him. The blond took slow, deep breaths, trying to process that he was a free man here. This was a demon he knew he had to face if he ever wanted to do anything else with his life. Dirk made his way toward where he and Jake had been pulled out and started to gently nudge the dirt around with his foot until he felt something slide. He took a deep breath and leaned down, brushing the dirt from what he was hoping to find.

                Nathanial Morris’ body.

                People would have thought him crazy to go back where he had been tortured for so long just to find the body of his killer. He wasn’t crazy, not yet at least. He brushed the dirt and rubble from the bones and held up the skull for his examination. The reason he knew it was Nathanial was by where he was, and also the two very enlarged sockets where his eyeballs had once been. The saw mill was large, and he knew the fireman had to evacuate several times trying to search what remained of the residence for people and later police to find evidence. They never found his body and Dirk never told them. It was probably one of the reasons he was put away himself; there was a lack of evidence found because this place was so unstable. He felt like Hamlet for a moment, suddenly speaking to the skull in his hand. “You were a sick bastard. You preyed on the weak and wanted only to spread _your_ evil to others. But you lost…” He whispered to it, pausing as if it would answer him. “And I’m not your captive, treasure, wife, husband, or anything else.” He said, shaking his head slowly. “I’m free of you.” He took the skull up as he rose before smashing it against the wall with such force that it shattered into hundreds of pieces. He took a deep breath before climbing up the holes up to the surface again. He didn’t know why exactly he'd wanted to do that… he just… wanted to finally set the record straight in his mind. Nathanial Morris was dead. Dirk Strider was alive.

                It was a very long way back to Austin and to the graveyard that she was buried in. He bought a bouquet along his way and stepped inside the large gated ‘community’ of the dead. The sun was setting from how much he’d walked that day, not to mention how both feet ached as he searched for her gravestone among the rest. Finding it, he put the flowers down and sat with his back to the back of Jenna Summer’s grave. “You were right.” He said to the air around him, “About absolutely everything. I know… in reality, you probably couldn’t hear me since it was a hallucination I was talking to… at least I think it was. But… I’m glad I finally said it to you, that I lied…” He sighed, “And I’m sorry. And I will live for the both of us.” He crossed his arms to warm himself against the cold wind. Dirk rested his chin on his arms that were on top of his knees. He closed his eyes to listen to the world around him for a bit. “I’m scared, but I think I’ll be okay now. Thank you for what you did for me. Back with that monster and in the prison. I know I wouldn’t have made it out if you hadn’t.”

                He felt a hand lightly press against his shoulder and he opened his eyes, expecting to see someone beside him. But there was no one, and he frowned, twisting to look over the gravestone to still see no one there. He did a full scan around him before settling back down. Dirk didn’t believe in ghosts outside the Game… but who knew, a lot of things that were impossible had happened to him. The blond rose up after a few minutes and took a deep breath, now was the hard part.

xXx

                Jake took another sip of the vodka glass he had in front of him. He let out a long sigh, trying to calm his nerves. Of all the bad habits to pick up, he’d started this. In retrospect, at least he was the one drinking it instead of Roxy. Though she didn’t really have time to drink it now, of course. Jake ran his fingers over his counter top in the kitchen. They were still in the joint apartment… but plans were being made to move out soon. Without the fourth income, it was hard to pay rent for the entire floor and… he and the girls had decided that it was hard to deal with the memories here. He swallowed the entire contents of the glass and coughed a little with his eyes watering. Jake poured himself another and set the empty bottle in the trashcan. “Holy fuck…” He muttered putting a hand through his hair. Honestly he didn’t know why the kitchen had seemed like the prime place to do this.

                Jane was sleeping at this point, going to get up early for a shift tomorrow morning. And Roxy was at the hospital again- like the woman never left. He, of course, didn’t have a meeting until tomorrow afternoon. Which he didn’t plan on attending, honestly. The television blared in the next room that the prison had burnt down and a list of known survivors had been sent out. He, like so many other families, had received his this morning. It sat crumbled beside the vodka bottle in the garbage can. Dirk Strider’s name was absent in the list... The girls hadn’t seen it yet, nor would they. He had burnt the other two letters and threw the remains out too. Jake looked over at the black metal plating and picked the weapon up, gauging the weight of it carefully. It was fully loaded and the safety was off. He drank another sip of the vodka and cocked it and uncocked it a few times, carefully considering the thoughts bouncing around in his head.

                The nightmares were getting worse. So much worse that Jane and Roxy both often had to stop him from jumping off the roof a few times. They were of the past, future, and present. Some of them even about Dirk. Some about flames. He cocked the gun. His breathing was slow as he looked at it. He’d lost Dirk by his own stupidity. What started all of this was his own moronic words at the bar. He’d drank too much, said awful things he couldn’t even remember now, and driven Dirk into the arms of Nathanial. Because of Nathanial, Dirk had gone to prison and had died there. And it was his fault. He’d killed the love of his life. Maybe not directly, but he was the cause. The gun stayed cocked. Roxy and Jane floated around in his head then. Their laughter and their words telling him he needed to stay strong so there wouldn’t be any more Dirks or Jenna’s or anyone else. The gun uncocked. Then Dirk floated back into his mind and he sighed, putting the gun off to the side. He’d contemplated the gun so many times that it just felt dull at this point. He had to think of the girls and little Jade whenever she did come along. Dirk had told him to protect them at all costs.

                He drank back the rest of the glass and went to lay on his couch tiredly. Hitting the mute button on the television he laid down completely, staring up at the ceiling without a word edgewise. He heard the elevator whirl in the center between their four apartment doors. Jane and Roxy still left their doors wide open and they always put a lock on their lift now not just anyone would wander their way up. Jake on the other hand, had started to shut his door much like Dirk had. The door had remained shut too, with only Jane going in to clean or Jake… going in just to lay on his bed now and then, breath in what little scent remained of him. There was a thought that the scent would never return and he swallowed, feeling his chest and throat tighten so hard he couldn’t breathe for a moment. He’d been quite the ‘cry-baby’ when he was younger, only backing off of it as he reached adulthood and his own self-worth returning. But this time he agreed that it was worth a few tears- more than a few- when it came to Dirk.  
                 
                God, he missed him already. He heard the lift door open with a shriek and figured that Roxy had managed to come home earlier from the night shift and didn’t hear the footsteps. She’d stopped wearing heels after her first hour there so he figured she’d just worn her nurse shoes.

xXx

                Dirk looked around the hallway where all their apartments met. They had eventually painted their doors after Roxy binged so hard that she fell in on both he and Jake, being very naked at the time, thinking it was her bed. For some reason Roxy could tell colors a lot better than a lot of other things when she was drunk. He hoped she had kept away from the alcohol since he’d been gone… the girl was too intelligent, too amazing, to be washing away any coherent thought with a fifty proof or higher beverage. The girls' doors were open, but he didn’t hear any activity from any room aside from a television roaring from Jake’s apartment that seemed to mute right before he opened the door to the lift. He wondered if he should go into his apartment first and see if they had moved him out… or if he should go see the girls instead of facing Jake… or if he should just… go where his heart told him to. He drew in a deep breath and let the latter guide him, as his feet turned toward the green door. He raised his fist slowly, trying to calm his racing heart. He didn’t know why he was so damn nervous all of a sudden. The image of Jake asking him why he’d bothered to come back kept playing in his head and he dutifully pushed it back down. He knocked very softly at first, barely making a sound. Then louder as his inner voice called him a chicken.

                Jake moved up from the couch, a sigh on his lips. The girls had taken to knocking before entering, fearing they might find something neither of them wanted to see. And he didn’t mean his naked backside either. He had his eyes shut when he pulled the door open at first, “Roxy, I’ve told you, you can come in just like before even if the door is-… closed…” His voice faded as he realized it wasn’t the right blonde who was standing there. His jaw dropped as Dirk stood there with a confused, openly worried expression. “H-Hey…” Dirk whispered, “I um… tried to call.” He gave a half panicked laugh, “But uh, I don’t have a cell and- well, I didn’t have my accounts open for change for a… payphone.” He mumbled, orange eyes’ searching Jake’s who just stared back.

                Dirk fidgeted with the end of his light orange hoodie and Jake finally spoke. “We’re… We’re just going to have to change that won’t we.” He whispered and Dirk gave him a small smile. Jake left his post at the door and threaded his fingers through his hair, kissing him so deeply that it hurt and relieved their souls. Dirk’s hands went to his neck, and they melted together. All thoughts of the coming war, being left behind, the prison and the anger from the past just faded away in the wake of contact. He had to break for air, and he looked back up at Jake, who was still taller than him. He’d been upset with that when he’d first realized that years ago, since when they were younger he was the taller of the two until Jake had suddenly sprouted. Dirk brushed his fingers over his cheek, seeing how red his eyes were and tasting the alcohol on him only now that it was over.

                “I know what you said before.” Jake whispered, “About us not being together and I… I can’t. I love you too much. I’ve done horrible things to you and I’m sorry… so unbelievably sorry. I thought you were dead and I just-…” He shook his head and Dirk kissed him again, very gently now, so he wouldn’t have to go on. “I know.” Dirk smiled at him, a gentle look in his gaze as he rubbed his thumbs across the skin of Jake's neck. “I love you too. And I’m not dead. I wanted to keep you safe, so I pushed you away. But I’m done trying to dig my grave and bury myself in it with regret.” He pressed a kiss to his chin, Jake sighed, “Please stay.” He hugged him tightly and Dirk laughed softly, “I’m not going anywhere, Jake. I’m yours.” He returned the embrace, resting his head on his shoulder. “I’m home.”

xXx

                There were shrieks of delight from both the girls when they found Jake and Dirk together later on in the night. They all sat together, clinging to each other like Dirk might turn to smoke right before their eyes. Dirk honestly wasn’t used to so much physical contact at once, but for some reason, didn’t mind it with his friends.

                Roxy had cried, and so had Jane, both were so utterly relieved to have him back. Kisses and hugs were shared. Both had called in sick to their respective jobs and spent the time with him. Not leaving his side for more than a few moments as he recounted what happened to him in prison without reference to his hallucinations or his relationship with Kar. He’d tell Jake eventually, but not yet. He felt it was too soon to let him know about Kar, although from the explanations he’d received from the others about what had happened to them in the last several months, it seemed like Jake had strayed too. They both seemed to find the same answer though: Later. All the bad that they had experienced would be dealt with _later._

This was the time for smiles and laughter, happy tears and breathing without weight on their chests. Eventually all of them had fallen asleep somehow, leaving Dirk to be the last one awake. He watched the news report as they wrapped around him in their respective areas, all sprawled out on the couch: Roxy across his legs, Jake by his shoulder and Jane around his waist. Dirk let out a slow breath, leaning back against the couch from where he was on the floor. He watched a muted television with subtitles as the state senator, the one running for president soon, came on the screen to give a speech about the recent prison fiasco. The blond frowned at it, blinking hard to see her walk across the stage and give a speech. She slowly took off her glasses to look into the camera, seemingly making it look like she was being completely honest with the crowd she was addressing. He felt fear take hold of his heart. Those eyes were unmistakable.  
  
Her Empress Condescension.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations! You've made it to the end of Act 2 of the series 'Burn My Lungs & Curse My Eyes' Series. You've seen Dirk Strider fall and rise like a phoenix. But you've yet to see him truly take flight. I hope you all are ready and waiting for the next arc. In the next chapters, you will see a preview for Act 3, also known as 'Skyfall'. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this series and please leave a comment below of anything you might want to see in the next act!
> 
> Much love!  
> -Cass


	26. Song Playlist for Nicotine

As promised, here is the playlist for this fanfiction any why or what scene the song was chosen for.

  * Nothing Left To Say Now – Imagine Dragons  
Why: The song lyrics play out and I can see Dirk feeling the words about he has absolutely nothing to say now that everything that happened in Spectrum is supposedly done. He’s been broken, and he doesn’t have one thing to show for it.  
  

  * Don’t Forget About The Sun – Get Scared  
Why: When Dirk starts to deal with prison life, it’s seen that he’s still damaged. And when the three start picking on him in the lunch room really fits the song. He starting forget how the sun feels- he’s starting to lose it.  
  

  * The World Spins Madly On – The Weepies  
Why: Honestly I didn’t know what to put here. I just needed something that identifies Dirk’s loneliness inside his head.  
  

  * Bad Dream – Keana  
Why: The lyrics are what did this for me. Dirk is getting tired, lonely, and at his wits in. This is a bad dream to him, and he doesn’t know where he’s going to end up. It’s a more cheery version of what he’s doing to himself inside his head.  
  

  * Echo – Jason Walker  
Why: David is an echo of Dirk’s past and his future. He’s learning different twists and turns, and he doesn’t want to face the truth. Saying one of five stages of grief he’s going through. Denial.  
And as he works through seeing his brother, he’s also learning his own heart at the same time.  
  

  * Even Angels Have Their Wicker Schemes – Rihanna  
Why: This is where things are starting to turn out darker and darker. With the new work assignment and the way the Warden is looking at him… plus seeing Jake again. He’s getting all twisted where he doesn’t want to be.  
  

  * Short Change Hero – The Heavy  
Why: The beat. Imagine Dirk on a bus going on a dusty road riding out into the middle of nowhere. Got the image? Great, put this song in it and just feel the beat of the hot southern air on your shoulders, and the sound of oil pistons in the distance.  
  

  * Between the Bars – Agnes Obel  
Why: This is a song perfect for Jake and Dirk’s love. But behind bars of course.  Dirk is lonely, trying to warn people about the danger in his mind. And Jake doesn’t want to listen. It’s a slow, slightly haunting sound.  
  

  * Remember the Name – Fort Minor  
Why: The rap battle. No one can deliver a firm beat like Fort Minor, and no one can bring up a song that fits Dirk Strider better than this song.  
  

  * Ghost of You – My Chemical Romance  
Why: This is basically a filler song. Nothing fit this song as well as I wanted. Evert and Dirk bounding over this sounded close enough. The effect of Dirk doing something stupid and then meeting Gabriel is starting to bring his fate to a close supposedly, and _Ghost of You_ represents it well enough.  
  

  * Who We Are – Imagine Dragons  
Why: I’m a little partial to this band. _Imagine Dragons_ is my go-to band for pretty much everything. Especially this one that represents Kar act of sheer ‘don’t give a fuckary’ perfectly. It makes me think this would be as much as Kar’s theme song as _Remember the Name_ would be for Dirk.  
  

  * Bones – Ms. & Mr.  
Why: I really wanted to put this video into my story. So here is my inspiration for this chapter. Special thanks to s-opal.  
<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIXQZGRwaag>  
  

  * Turn Off The Lights – Panic! At The Disco  
Why: Another video! I love this video and was probably one of the first that got me started on this story. It’s a great video put together by StarstuckStudio!  
<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZD9qu-npvEA>  
  

  * RISE – Skylar Grey & David Guetta  
Why: This. Song. IS. BAD ASS. I love Skylar’s voice in this. Her only lyrics make me think of Dirk going into battle right off the battle. The Prince is Awake and your shit is wrecked!  
  

  * Elastic Heart – Sia  
Why: The lyrics are what made me think of this treasure. Dirk has grown thick skin alright, and definitely gotten an elastic heart. He’s fighting with his hallucination of Jake and he’s slowly slipping into his hallucinations more and more.  
  



  * Casual Affair – Panic! At The Disco  
Why: Obviously you can remember what happens in this chapter. Bow chicka wow wow between Kar and Dirk. It’s lyrics fit perfectly and it worked from there beautifully. He also hits the next stage of his grief cycle. Anger.  
  

  * Dangerous – David Guetta  
Why: One of my personal favorites once again. It’s a great song, and something perfect that fits into the entire story. His life has gotten quicker… and more dangerous.  
  

  * Stronger – Kanye West (More so Daft Punk)  
Why: I love the beat and I can see Dirk rising like a phoenix from the ashes at just the first beat of this song. He’s building himself up to become the Prince again. Also he goes to the next stage of grief, bargaining with Roxy.  
  

  * Eye of the Storm – Lovett  
Why: For this filler chapter, I wanted you to see a truly amazing short. It’s so breath taking and the music fits perfectly.  
<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1mX8ptsmBM>  
  

  * 5AM – Amber Run  
Why: The only connection to this song and the chapter is that it takes place at five in the morning. Also it reflects Dirk’s inner thoughts before he goes and does something really stupid.  
  

  * Curse – Imagine Dragons  
Why: I like this song because at this point, Dirk feels he’s been cursed. We look into the mind of a man who is at his breaking point. He goes to the next stage of grief, depression. And nearly ends it… until Jane brings him down off the edge.  
  

  * I Found – Amber Run  
Why: This is the final part of Dirk’s mental journey. He and Jenna finally have that moment that they haven’t gotten to have. The forgiveness and acceptance is his last stage and he’s ready to take on the world in the next chapter.  
  

  * Nicotine – Panic! At The Disco  
Why: About time we get to the namesake! Nicotine represents the showdown between our characters, the hell situation and everything crashing around them. It’s the climax and the most action part so far in the series… so far.  
  

  * I’ll Run To You – Pentatonix  
Why: I love this video and I want you all to go see this right now. This person put so much work into this and I wanted to really draw attention to it. It’s beautiful. Absolutely. By Amberblaze223  
<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POIyGamReZ8>  
  

  * Home – Phillip Phillips  
Why: I can see Dirk deciding it’s time to go home to this song. Walking home and seeing those steps. Seeing the apartment and Jake. I can feel the finality and sense of home in this one. It’s the end. And it’s a good end to a story that’s been a long journey. My inspiration come from this video: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNEW52NxHiA> by a wonderful Charlie Nitram on Youtube.




	27. Skyfall -Preview-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here is your preview for the next arc of our story!

                 The blond looked down at the world below him. His glasses reflecting the light of the street and the cars rushing past each other. His sword caught the same reflective glint as it rested easily on his shoulder. The wind was blowing hard enough to nearly make his hat come off and he tightened it around his head before stepping off the roof. He fell quickly, legs bunching as he landed on a window washer’s platform. He hit so hard that it broke the brackets holding it up to the building and he slid down off of one side to hit another platform far below, slowing his decent and he stopped, looking over the edge to see the men he was after. He smirked, cutting the cord and sliding down to land on a lower building’s rooftop. The blond stared at the men who were now turning a darkened alley due to some construction on the road ahead. He smirked dangerously and like a cat, balancing on the rooftops edge, following without a sound as they hit an intersection of alleyways. The main man he was after pulled out a lighter to produce a small blue flame to light his cigar sticking out of the corner of his mouth.

                He dropped then, causing the four men around him to jump and pull weapons. “It’s the Prince! Kill him!” The cigar pointed at him and the four body guards opened fire. The bullets were deflected, only to have a pair of burning orange eyes in their face in seconds. The first man lost his throat, the next his stomach. The cigar hit the ground in shock as the next two of his men went down; one lost his head, the other lost both arms.

                A bloody man came toward him in the darkness, the moon and street lights from the far end of the alley seemed to highlight the gore on his shirt. The man fell backwards, tripping over the head of his bodyguard. He stuttered, “What do you want?!” He cried and the taller picked up the man, as heavy set as he was, by the tie and held him against the alley wall with one arm. The sword rested on his shoulder again. “Information.” The word was dark, caressed with the other’s voice and the man held up his hands, “Anything- Anything you want to know I’ll tell you, just don’t kill me please!” The blond smiled at him, the sword went to the man’s throat and rested there. A very small trickle of blood came down the edge of the blade. “I want you to tell me everything you know about Her Empress Condescension. And I want you to deliver a message to her… The Prince is awake.”


End file.
